DEAR ABBY: I went into our home office and noticed that my wife had left her e-mail on. I spotted an odd name, so I opened one of the messages and my jaw dropped. It was from a man with whom my wife was having an affair. The e-mails were so graphic as to leave nothing to the imagination. This person is someone with whom my wife had an affair before we got together. He was going to leave his wife and live with her before we met, but when push came to shove, he stayed with his wife and just used mine for sex.
One of the messages discussed a planned meeting that did not take place -- only because he got stuck at work. She e-mailed him and told him he could stop by the house any night after 10 and have sex for an hour or two because our 5-year-old son and I were sleeping in other bedrooms!
She insists that "nothing happened," which I have trouble believing. We have been seeing a therapist who believes my wife, and says that since "nothing happened" it wasn't an affair. I disagree. Am I wrong? -- FURIOUS IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR FURIOUS: You now have two problems. You have a therapist who is siding with your wife, and an advice columnist who sees it your way. No, I do not think you are wrong. And unless your wife can come up with a satisfactory explanation for inviting her old lover over for sex under the same roof as her child and her husband, I'd say your marriage is O.V.E.R.