DEAR ABBY: This is difficult, but I have no one here I can confide in. I'm ashamed, confused and unsure. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, as I am finding it more difficult every Sunday.

Without going into specific beliefs and asking questions that can only be answered by faith, I will simplify: Is it better to go to church for the wrong reasons than not to go at all? I don't think I am fooling "Him" -- and I know I'm not fooling myself.

The others, including my wife, are, if not wise to me, suspicious. I don't like my hypocrisy, but I'm afraid of the reactions -- and repercussions -- should I "out" myself and stay home. I'm uncomfortable masquerading every Sunday, being the loyal husband and worshipper while being untrue to myself. Help. (Or am I beyond it?) -- BETWEEN A ROCK AND A CLOSET

DEAR BETWEEN: I have always believed that husbands and wives are members of the same "team" and should be able to level with each other, so I'm having trouble understanding why you are masquerading and hiding the way you feel. I also believe that people can communicate with God in their own way, wherever they are, because God is everywhere -- not just confined to church property.

Because you are left feeling empty and unfulfilled by the Sunday sermons, you may need to look elsewhere for spiritual fulfillment. However, until you find the courage to express your feelings and stand by them, you will remain forever between a rock and a closet.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to help my friend "George." His ex-wife, "Carol," left him in 2003 because his hours at work were cut and his salary decreased by $20,000. She told him she no longer loved him. Abby, George supported her when she wanted to become a teacher, studied to be a bartender and then an actress. They had been married four years when she dumped him.

In 2004, George met a single mother with a young daughter. They fell in love. Soon after, Carol re-entered his life and took a job at his company to be closer to him. It affected his relationship with the single mom. He broke off their engagement and moved out.

George is now dating Carol again. He told me a few months ago that she had filed for bankruptcy. Financially, he is doing well again. But he seems blind to the fact that Carol is seeing him only because she needs someone to support her as she struggles to become an actress. He was her third husband.

I used to be her confidant. She told me after she and George had been married only nine months that she didn't love him, and only stayed married to him because he was a warm body and a steady paycheck. She'll use him again until she finds a man who is wealthier and more interesting.

What can I do to help my friend, Abby? He has turned to alcohol and pot to numb himself. -- GEORGE'S FRIEND, NOT CAROL'S

DEAR FRIEND: I assume that between his alcohol and pot binges, your friend George is confiding in you. If you are truly his friend, you'll tell him that it's clear he is in emotional pain and suggest that he get professional help "to see him through this difficult period." Your friend is accident-prone when it comes to love, and counseling is what he really needs.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY READERS: Today is a double-barreled holiday! To my African-American readers, a Happy Kwanzaa to you all. And to my Jewish readers, a very Happy Hanukkah!

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, at Christmas time, I helped Santa Claus by filling in for him at a small shopping mall. Instead of the usual long lines of children who are processed on and off Santa's lap like an assembly line in large shopping malls, I was able to enjoy spontaneous visits with teenagers and adults as well as tots bearing lists of toys.

A pair of teenage boys ran up, gave me a hug and a grin, and asked me to bring them motorcycles. After a brief chat, they walked away chuckling -- pleased with their visit with St. Nick.

A bright and happy 3 1/2-year-old girl sat on my lap and chattered constantly, asking questions and answering mine. Finally, she looked me in the eye and said, "I thought you were fake. You're REAL!" Her doubts removed, I'm sure she had a magical Christmas.

A young father, all alone, paid the elf photographer for one picture and said, "I don't have custody of my children, but want to show them a picture of you and me shaking hands." When he received the finished photo, he looked at it and mouthed, "Thank you," and departed.

However, my most emotional visit was with three teenage girls. The first one giggled and asked me for a sports car. The second topped her by asking for a mansion. The last girl whispered in my ear, "I'd like a job for my father." As they walked away, the last one refused to answer her friends' question, "What did YOU ask Santa for?" Her profound request was between her and Santa, who was overcome with emotion.

I truly believe that her father found a job because, you see, that night Santa prayed that he would. -- ROBERT BICKMEYER, TROY, MICH.

DEAR "ROBERT-CLAUS": Your letter touched my heart. Your prayer embodies the true spirit of Christmas, and I hope that you and your family are enjoying this special day. And to my Christian readers: A very merry Christmas to you all.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is a talented artist, and my sister and I love to give her creations as gifts to family and friends. My sister and I have purchased these gifts -- albeit at a discount -- but money is exchanged and the gifts are from US.

Our problem: Often the people receiving the gifts assume that we did not pay for them. Sometimes they have even said, "Thank your mother for me." How should this be handled so the recipient knows we were the givers and not the artist who made the work -- who "happens" to be our mom? -- JESSICA IN CHARLOTTE, N.C.

DEAR JESSICA: When they say, "Thank your mother for me," tell them the gift came from you and not from her. It should not be necessary to explain further.

DEAR ABBY: I am going to a conference in a city where an old flame lives. I haven't seen him in nearly 10 years. I am considering looking him up, but now I'm questioning my motives. I'm single, and don't know what his status is. I don't expect a reconciliation, but the idea to give him a call popped into my head -- and then I got nervous. I'd love to see him. Have you any advice? -- TEMPTED IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR TEMPTED: Yes. Call him! You are single, and if he is, too, it could be a new beginning for both of you. Ask him to lunch so you can both catch up on what's happened during the last decade. If it turns out that he's married, invite his wife along. Who knows? You might make a new friend who could introduce you to "Mr. Right."

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Don't most of us enjoy stories from our parents' and grandparents' past? During the last few years of my mother's life, she was confined to her home and then to a nursing home.

I urged her to write her memories of childhood in a lined notebook that I provided. On one hand, those stories needed to be preserved for my children, and on the other, it gave my mother a project to work on and keep her mind active. She enjoyed it and filled about 20 pages. She described her childhood days, then continued through courtship, marriage, my birth, struggles through the Great Depression, and the building of a new home. It gave us a clear view of times gone by -- a family treasure in her handwriting.

My reason for writing this is to remind your readers to ask those old-timers to write their memories before those treasured stories pass into oblivion. -- ROBERT H., BADIN, N.C.

DEAR ROBERT: Thank you for the reminder. And readers, maybe you should jot down your own recollections yourselves. On another note, every year I hear from older people on fixed incomes who are worried because they don't have enough money to buy gifts for their families. Something like this would make a priceless gift.

P.S. It could even be video- or audio-taped if a friend or family member has the equipment.

DEAR ABBY: When is the appropriate time to stop "baby talk" with your children? My son has just turned 3, and I'm starting to get looks from friends whenever I speak to him in an overly sweet way or use pet names. My family has a long history of "baby talk" that still gets used regularly. I always found it annoying, but now I find it difficult to break the habit with my son. Should I be addressing him as if he's a little professor? I think a kid should still be treated like a kid. -- JULIE IN SPRING, TEXAS

DEAR JULIE: You recall that when baby talk was addressed to you, you found it annoying. What it is, is condescending. The time to break the habit is now. Your son is no longer a baby, and if you continue talking to him as if he is, he, too, will find it embarrassing.

Treat him in a way that is age-appropriate, but teach him proper English and correct terminology now so there will be less for him to unlearn when he's around his peers.

DEAR ABBY: My brother is being married soon, and he's planning to have his dog serve as the ring bearer in the wedding. My 2-year-old daughter will be the flower girl.

My mother thinks that having a dog in the wedding is disrespectful and she's worried about what the guests will think. She plans to tell my brother that she doesn't approve.

The dog is well behaved and, frankly, my daughter is more likely to cause a problem than the dog. I think a wedding is completely up to the couple, and they should do whatever will make the day special for them. What do you think? -- DOGGONE WEDDING PARTY

DEAR WEDDING PARTY: Point out to your well-meaning mother that everyone in the family will be happier if she worries less about what the wedding guests will say and concentrates more on the happiness of the occasion. Your brother having his dog as his ring bearer isn't as "fur out" as she fears. It has been done by other animal lovers before, and I'm sure it will be again.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)