DEAR ABBY: This is difficult, but I have no one here I can confide in. I'm ashamed, confused and unsure. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, as I am finding it more difficult every Sunday.
Without going into specific beliefs and asking questions that can only be answered by faith, I will simplify: Is it better to go to church for the wrong reasons than not to go at all? I don't think I am fooling "Him" -- and I know I'm not fooling myself.
The others, including my wife, are, if not wise to me, suspicious. I don't like my hypocrisy, but I'm afraid of the reactions -- and repercussions -- should I "out" myself and stay home. I'm uncomfortable masquerading every Sunday, being the loyal husband and worshipper while being untrue to myself. Help. (Or am I beyond it?) -- BETWEEN A ROCK AND A CLOSET
DEAR BETWEEN: I have always believed that husbands and wives are members of the same "team" and should be able to level with each other, so I'm having trouble understanding why you are masquerading and hiding the way you feel. I also believe that people can communicate with God in their own way, wherever they are, because God is everywhere -- not just confined to church property.
Because you are left feeling empty and unfulfilled by the Sunday sermons, you may need to look elsewhere for spiritual fulfillment. However, until you find the courage to express your feelings and stand by them, you will remain forever between a rock and a closet.