DEAR ABBY: I got the surprise of my life three years ago when my husband of 28 years asked for a divorce. Not long after the divorce became final, I ran into "Tim," an old high school classmate, and fell head over heels for him. He stays at my house every weekend and is on his own during the week.
Last week I used Tim's e-mail account to send an e-mail. When I pulled up the account, I discovered that for the past three years, the man I'm in love with has been seeing five other women! He reminded me that he has been a bachelor for 20 years and has many female acquaintances. He sees nothing wrong with going out with them, and sees one of them once a week.
I am extremely uncomfortable knowing that Tim has been seeing other women and wasn't up-front with me about it. I was under the impression that we had an exclusive relationship. Are my feelings unreasonable? -- SHOCKED IN OHIO
DEAR SHOCKED: If Tim lied to you about having an exclusive relationship, then you have reason to be angry. However, if he did not -- and exclusivity was important to you -- you should have made certain it was discussed.
Surely, if Tim was deceiving you, he wouldn't have given you his password. Now that you know his feelings about monogamy, it's up to you to decide whether you will tolerate an open relationship, because it appears that's all he's willing to have.
P.S. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I suggest that you be checked for STDs.