life

Mom Fleeing Katrina Learns That Strangers Can Be Kind

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 6th, 2005 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: From time to time I have seen letters in your column about acts of kindness. I hope you will print my letter to say "thank you" to a kind soul who helped me after Hurricane Katrina.

My husband and I stayed in our home in Biloxi during Katrina. We were fortunate that the storm stopped at our front door. The large oak trees that fell did not fall on our house, and we were able to assist others on our street who also stayed. But we both knew that I needed to get our children (3 1/2 years old and 15 months) out. We were running short of water and were not sure when there would be more food.

Not realizing how badly everyone had been affected, I left the house with only two small bottles of water, $10 in cash and a few snacks. I wanted to leave everything for my husband -- thinking that as soon as I got to Jackson, Miss., everything would be fine.

I arrived in the town of Hazelhurst on Tuesday evening with two thirsty, crying babies, and wondering what in the world to do. I pulled into the Days Inn and asked if they had a room. They did, but there was no water, no electricity and no drinking water. I left the front desk in tears.

A kind Hispanic woman ran after me and offered me a gallon of her water. I offered her the $10, but she refused it. Her husband told me I needed to stop and rest. She helped me take the kids out of the car, helped me with my luggage, helped me check in, and showed me to my room. Later that night, she brought me half a gallon of milk for the babies, and a beautiful votive candle so I could see them. She said, "For the babies."

I left early the next morning to try to get enough gas so I could reach my parents, and I never got the woman's name. May God bless her for the rest of her life. I am normally very logical and calm, but I could not think clearly that day. She opened her arms and her heart, and for that I am truly grateful.

I wish I could see her, hug her and say "thank you" in person. I owe her so much, but all I can offer her are my prayers for the rest of her days on this Earth.

Thank you for helping me try to reach her, Abby. God bless all of us in this difficult time. -- LAURA V., BILOXI, MISS.

DEAR LAURA: I'm pleased to print your letter. I hope your guardian angel sees it. By sharing what little she had with you, she demonstrated the true spirit of giving in its highest form.

life

Dear Abby for October 06, 2005

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 6th, 2005 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Sybil," had a close friend, "Maxine," who recently offended her. Now she prefers to avoid the woman altogether.

Maxine's husband and I play golf together, and Sybil feels that I am wrong to continue a relationship with him. I disagree; first, because in time my wife's wounds may heal and her relationship with Maxine may resume. Also, I have never dictated who Sybil should or should not befriend, and I feel the reverse should also be true.

Who's right here? You decide! -- "SWINGER" IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SWINGER: You are. Just because you are no longer a foursome shouldn't mean you have to scratch your golf buddy. She should "putt out" of your golf game. For her to attempt to punish her former friend by punishing her husband is childish.

life

Dear Abby for October 06, 2005

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 6th, 2005 | Letter 3 of 3

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

life

Donation of Son's Organs Turns Tragedy Into Triumph

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 5th, 2005 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: Eleven years ago, my 7-year-old son, Nicholas, was shot in a botched robbery in Italy. His organs were donated to seven Italian citizens. Since that time, donation rates in Italy have tripled and thousands of people -- many of them children -- are alive who would have died.

Through its annual Holiday Resolution Campaign, the National Kidney Foundation is urging Americans to consider the ultimate holiday gift idea -- organ donation, the gift of life. By simply signing a donor card or enrolling in a state donor registry, we can do for the United States what Nicholas' story did for Italy.

Abby, I hope you will join me in urging your readers to sign donor cards, and give those in need of the gift of life a new beginning. -- REG GREEN, LA CANADA, CALIF.

DEAR REG: I'm pleased to do so. I remember reading newspaper accounts of the courageous way you dealt with your son's tragic death, and the difference it made in the attitude toward organ donation in Italy. That you took the pain of losing your son and turned it into something positive is inspiring.

Please, readers, take a moment and consider the importance of organ donation. Discuss it with your families because it is they who will have the final say. For more information or to receive a free donor card, contact the National Kidney Foundation by calling toll-free (800) 622-9010, or visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.kidney.org" ��www.kidney.org� and click on "Transplantation."

life

Dear Abby for October 05, 2005

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 5th, 2005 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Liam," is a fabulous guy. We get along great -- as long as I don't leave the house. I am the only one working right now, and he makes me feel guilty for it. I go home for two hours every day at lunch and he picks a fight with me. He constantly calls me at work to ask if I am cheating on him.

Abby, I am working! I really want to be with Liam, but I can't feel sad and hurt all the time because I have a family to support. Please tell me how I can nicely tell Liam to stop being a jerk. -- MIXED UP IN MAINE

DEAR MIXED UP: Liam isn't a "jerk." He's not working, probably feels like less of a man for it, doesn't feel he deserves you, and is desperately insecure. Was he always this way -- or did it start after he stopped working?

If it's the former, then your "fabulous" guy is showing classic signs of being an abuser, a problem that will only escalate, and you need to get away from him. If it's the latter, then he needs to get out of the house, if only to volunteer some of his free time. That way he will contribute to something, possibly meet people who can give him employment, and have less free time to obsess about you. Please encourage him to do it.

life

Dear Abby for October 05, 2005

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 5th, 2005 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: Six years ago, my niece gave me an antique table. It was in very poor condition. I restored it and used it until I moved into a smaller home last year, when I gave it to my daughter who has more room.

My niece saw it, and now she's "demanding" that my daughter give it back. Can we be forced to return it? -- MRS. C., MOUNT PLEASANT, S.C.

DEAR MRS. C.: Not in my book. Unless the table was given to you with the clear understanding that if you didn't need it would be returned to her, then it was a gift and not a loan. And once a gift is given, it is the property of the recipient to do with as she (or he) wishes.

life

Dear Abby for October 05, 2005

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 5th, 2005 | Letter 4 of 4

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Teen Should Get to Work Using Her Own Two Feet

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 4th, 2005 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Standing on Principle," who thinks she should get $5 a week for driving her 17-year-old niece to work half a mile away. Because it is such a short distance, that girl should WALK to work!

Our nation is growing fatter and fatter, more and more out of shape physically, because of less and less exercise and active play, and more and more computer and video games. I am a registered nurse who sees a lot of people in ill health. I know that a major portion of that ill health could be avoided or improved by eating a healthy diet, being active and losing weight.

I understand that for some people it's hard to get in that mind-set. But it's a simpler, far less expensive solution to health care than medications, tests and more tests, and frequent doctor/hospital visits, to say nothing of a poor quality of life.

Adults need to think about this, not only for themselves but also for their children -- who are at increased danger of diabetes, etc. because of poor lifestyle habits. -- A VERMONT NURSE

DEAR VERMONT NURSE: You are not the only reader who was quick to point out that a half-mile walk isn't a hardship. The face with the egg on it is mine. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: With regard to "Standing on Principle in Knoxville," who "needs" a ride to work every day, I think a couple of points are in order.

First, it's not unreasonable for that girl to pay for gas. She is earning a few bucks, I expect. But if she's going a mile a day five days a week, even an SUV would make a profit on $5. How about $5 a month?

My other point is really the reason for this letter: Why does that kid need a ride? Unless she lives in the worst neighborhood in all of Maryland, she could easily walk -- and it would do her some serious good to do so. I'm older than dirt and had a coronary bypass nine months ago, and I walk a couple of miles every morning without fail. If I can do it, why can't she? -- WALKING ON PRINCIPLE IN SAN JOSE

DEAR WALKING ON PRINCIPLE: That's a good question -- and one that only the young lady can answer.

DEAR ABBY: I charge my son for driving him to and from work, not because I need the money but because he needs to understand that there are costs associated with transportation. He earns a reasonable wage, and the amount I expect is just sufficient enough to let him know that nothing is free, and therefore he should plan his expenses carefully. My time is valuable, but I give it willingly.

That niece should understand that $5 is less than a taxi, and certainly more convenient than a bus. -- MARC L., CLEARWATER, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: There's another way to look at that situation. Years ago, our local chamber of commerce sent 10 underprivileged kids to two weeks of overnight camp. Five of them paid $5 and five paid nothing.

Upon their return, we received five thank-you notes from the ones who paid. We heard nothing from those who attended for free. I think people only put a value on things that cost them something. -- PENNY C., PARADISE VALLEY, ARIZ.

life

Dear Abby for October 04, 2005

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 4th, 2005 | Letter 2 of 2

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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