DEAR ABBY: Eleven years ago, my 7-year-old son, Nicholas, was shot in a botched robbery in Italy. His organs were donated to seven Italian citizens. Since that time, donation rates in Italy have tripled and thousands of people -- many of them children -- are alive who would have died.

Through its annual Holiday Resolution Campaign, the National Kidney Foundation is urging Americans to consider the ultimate holiday gift idea -- organ donation, the gift of life. By simply signing a donor card or enrolling in a state donor registry, we can do for the United States what Nicholas' story did for Italy.

Abby, I hope you will join me in urging your readers to sign donor cards, and give those in need of the gift of life a new beginning. -- REG GREEN, LA CANADA, CALIF.

DEAR REG: I'm pleased to do so. I remember reading newspaper accounts of the courageous way you dealt with your son's tragic death, and the difference it made in the attitude toward organ donation in Italy. That you took the pain of losing your son and turned it into something positive is inspiring.

Please, readers, take a moment and consider the importance of organ donation. Discuss it with your families because it is they who will have the final say. For more information or to receive a free donor card, contact the National Kidney Foundation by calling toll-free (800) 622-9010, or visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.kidney.org" ��www.kidney.org� and click on "Transplantation."

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Liam," is a fabulous guy. We get along great -- as long as I don't leave the house. I am the only one working right now, and he makes me feel guilty for it. I go home for two hours every day at lunch and he picks a fight with me. He constantly calls me at work to ask if I am cheating on him.

Abby, I am working! I really want to be with Liam, but I can't feel sad and hurt all the time because I have a family to support. Please tell me how I can nicely tell Liam to stop being a jerk. -- MIXED UP IN MAINE

DEAR MIXED UP: Liam isn't a "jerk." He's not working, probably feels like less of a man for it, doesn't feel he deserves you, and is desperately insecure. Was he always this way -- or did it start after he stopped working?

If it's the former, then your "fabulous" guy is showing classic signs of being an abuser, a problem that will only escalate, and you need to get away from him. If it's the latter, then he needs to get out of the house, if only to volunteer some of his free time. That way he will contribute to something, possibly meet people who can give him employment, and have less free time to obsess about you. Please encourage him to do it.

DEAR ABBY: Six years ago, my niece gave me an antique table. It was in very poor condition. I restored it and used it until I moved into a smaller home last year, when I gave it to my daughter who has more room.

My niece saw it, and now she's "demanding" that my daughter give it back. Can we be forced to return it? -- MRS. C., MOUNT PLEASANT, S.C.

DEAR MRS. C.: Not in my book. Unless the table was given to you with the clear understanding that if you didn't need it would be returned to her, then it was a gift and not a loan. And once a gift is given, it is the property of the recipient to do with as she (or he) wishes.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Standing on Principle," who thinks she should get $5 a week for driving her 17-year-old niece to work half a mile away. Because it is such a short distance, that girl should WALK to work!

Our nation is growing fatter and fatter, more and more out of shape physically, because of less and less exercise and active play, and more and more computer and video games. I am a registered nurse who sees a lot of people in ill health. I know that a major portion of that ill health could be avoided or improved by eating a healthy diet, being active and losing weight.

I understand that for some people it's hard to get in that mind-set. But it's a simpler, far less expensive solution to health care than medications, tests and more tests, and frequent doctor/hospital visits, to say nothing of a poor quality of life.

Adults need to think about this, not only for themselves but also for their children -- who are at increased danger of diabetes, etc. because of poor lifestyle habits. -- A VERMONT NURSE

DEAR VERMONT NURSE: You are not the only reader who was quick to point out that a half-mile walk isn't a hardship. The face with the egg on it is mine. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: With regard to "Standing on Principle in Knoxville," who "needs" a ride to work every day, I think a couple of points are in order.

First, it's not unreasonable for that girl to pay for gas. She is earning a few bucks, I expect. But if she's going a mile a day five days a week, even an SUV would make a profit on $5. How about $5 a month?

My other point is really the reason for this letter: Why does that kid need a ride? Unless she lives in the worst neighborhood in all of Maryland, she could easily walk -- and it would do her some serious good to do so. I'm older than dirt and had a coronary bypass nine months ago, and I walk a couple of miles every morning without fail. If I can do it, why can't she? -- WALKING ON PRINCIPLE IN SAN JOSE

DEAR WALKING ON PRINCIPLE: That's a good question -- and one that only the young lady can answer.

DEAR ABBY: I charge my son for driving him to and from work, not because I need the money but because he needs to understand that there are costs associated with transportation. He earns a reasonable wage, and the amount I expect is just sufficient enough to let him know that nothing is free, and therefore he should plan his expenses carefully. My time is valuable, but I give it willingly.

That niece should understand that $5 is less than a taxi, and certainly more convenient than a bus. -- MARC L., CLEARWATER, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: There's another way to look at that situation. Years ago, our local chamber of commerce sent 10 underprivileged kids to two weeks of overnight camp. Five of them paid $5 and five paid nothing.

Upon their return, we received five thank-you notes from the ones who paid. We heard nothing from those who attended for free. I think people only put a value on things that cost them something. -- PENNY C., PARADISE VALLEY, ARIZ.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I married a wonderful man I'll call "Kenny." I am white and Kenny is African-American. After I announced my marriage, my father stopped taking my phone calls and e-mails, and refuses to have any contact with me whatsoever. He has never even met my spouse.

I continue to send my father cards on his birthday, Father's Day and Christmas, but I never receive any response. We live only three miles apart. Should I give up on communicating with him? I just cannot turn my back on my own father, but it appears he has done this to me.

I knew his feelings on interracial marriage when I married Kenny, but how long should a 45-year-old woman let a parent's disapproval stand in the way of her own happiness? -- DISOWNED DAUGHTER IN VIRGINIA

DEAR DAUGHTER: At age 45, you made a mature decision. You knew when you married your husband that there would be a price tag for your happiness, and this is it. Face it: Your father is a racist whose prejudice is more important to him than your happiness. Please waste no more time hoping he will "mellow." Live your life and concentrate on your future.

Please stop banging on a door that may never open. The next move, if there is to be one, is up to your father.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of many years is terminally ill, with only a few days left on this Earth. When I heard the news, I immediately rushed to see her. We hadn't seen each other for about two years because of an argument.

The argument seems so trivial now. Because of it, we missed two precious years together. I feel fortunate that we got to talk and make amends, and she knows how much I love her. We cried the moment we saw each other.

I thank God I got this opportunity. So many times we don't have the chance. Please remind everyone that they really do need to say "I love you" today, because one day there will not be a tomorrow.

I'm glad I got to say everything I needed to her, as well as goodbye. My heart is aching. She's taking a part of me with her. We always thought we'd be here for each other all of our lives. I can't believe I have to carry on without her. -- LOST SOUL IN SYRACUSE

DEAR LOST SOUL: Thank you for an important letter, and for the reminder that sometimes it takes a tragedy to remind us that life is so fragile and to put our priorities in order.

When carrying a grudge takes over someone's life, sometimes the most healing thing a person can do is simply forgive and move on.

In the Jewish religion, in the 10 days between Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), the faithful are commanded to ask forgiveness from anyone they may have wronged or offended during the year. In Judaism, God cannot forgive the sins a person has committed against another unless the sinner has asked that person for forgiveness. If the injured party rejects the apology three times -- and by the way, in the Old Testament it says it's a sin to carry a grudge -- the wrongdoer is then released from the obligation to ask forgiveness.

This year, the 10 days to ask forgiveness begin today.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)