DEAR ABBY: I recently moved in with my fiance, "Eric." We plan on being married this fall. The mail arrived a little while ago, and his checking account is still in his ex-wife's name. Eric had promised he would open a new account and close this one when we first got together.
Now he contends that since she is remarried with another name, that there is no such person -- she no longer exists. Wouldn't his ex-wife still be a co-owner of the account since it is a joint account? Obviously, you have to have a Social Security number to open an account, and that doesn't change after marriage.
This has become a giant bone of contention, and it hurts every time I pick up "their mail." Eric says I am being "stupid" and I "don't understand." I say, open up a new account and start over with me. He becomes angry every time I mention it and says it makes him more determined to keep the account!
Frankly, Eric is starting to make me feel like I'm crazy for caring. Am I being unreasonable? Or is the writing on the wall telling me he still enjoys seeing their names together? -- HURT IN BLOOMINGTON, IND.
DEAR HURT: The checking account is the least of your worries. What the writing on the wall says to me is that your fiance's promises are all smoke and no substance, and your feelings are not important to him. That's a pretty strong message. Please pay attention. It's a taste of what your life will be like if you marry him.