DEAR ABBY: My former fiance has recently begun calling and asking me to meet him for dinner at a fancy restaurant. Our relationship ended badly, and I have neither spoken to him nor seen him for almost two years. He will not explain why he wants to meet, and insists that it's just "casual."
I don't see anything "casual" about meeting my ex in a fancy restaurant for dinner. I am curious about what he wants to say, but I don't want to disrespect my new beau by going to meet my ex-fiance. (I know I would be upset if the tables were turned.) I am happy in this relationship, and I don't want to encourage my ex to continue trying to contact me, or trying to be friends.
How should I handle this with tact and grace? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN WYOMING
DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Handle this with tact and grace by smiling into the telephone as you tell your former fiance exactly what you have told me. By smiling when you speak, a warmer, friendlier tone is generated than if you tighten your jaw and speak from the throat. Your message is entirely appropriate.