DEAR ABBY: I was in a car accident two months ago. My best friend, "Heather," was driving. We grew up together and refer to each other as sisters. We were both under the influence, and I was so intoxicated I didn't realize how smashed Heather was. Anyway, I was really banged up in the accident. She got away without a scratch.
For an entire week after the accident, Heather never once came to see how I was doing. It wasn't until after I was practically healed that she stopped by my house. Sometimes when I see her, I still feel angry at her -- or some emotion I can't put my finger on. I don't know if I still blame her or what. But now that I have healed, she doesn't want to talk about the incident, and I can't say anything because it makes her uncomfortable. But don't you think I am the victim here?
It is almost to the point where I don't want to be around her. After 20 years of having Heather in my life, I think I can survive without ever speaking to her again. What should I do? -- LOST IN SAN MATEO, CALIF.
DEAR LOST: For the sake of your 20-year friendship, clear the air and say what's on your mind -- including the fact that you felt betrayed when Heather failed to see you after the accident. She may have felt too guilty to face you.
There are times when saying "I'm sorry" and "I'll never drink and drive again" may seem inadequate. And yet, those things are exactly what need to be said -- and you need to hear them -- regardless of whether or not the subject makes Heather uncomfortable. For your own peace of mind, please do it soon. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.