DEAR ABBY: I am a 34-year-old single mother of three. After several bad relationships, I decided that one day the right guy would come along and I would just "know," and until then, I'd focus on making my children as happy as I could by myself.
A few months ago, I met "Mr. Right." The feeling I have for him is one that I haven't felt before, and he feels the same way about me.
The problem: Mr. Right is my baby sitter "April's" boyfriend. They have been together on and off about a year. April is very controlling. She starts arguments with him and then doesn't come around for a while. Mr. Right is tired of it. It happened again last night, and he told her to just stay home. He wants some stability in his life and someone to love and grow old with. So do I.
The hard part of this is I really like my baby sitter. Many people don't, but April has never done anything to hurt me. I know the right thing to do would be to tell her how I feel, but people tell me April holds grudges, and I'm afraid she'll hate me. If I must choose between April and Mr. Right, I want to choose Mr. Right. If you have any suggestions that will make this easier, I'm all ears. -- TORN IN ILLINOIS
DEAR TORN: I sure do. The first is, SLOW DOWN. If you want stability in your life and someone to love and grow old with, recognize that getting to know someone takes time.
Mr. Right appears to have quite a bit of unfinished business before he will be free to start a relationship with you. First on his list –- not yours –- should be to officially end his romance with your baby sitter. That way, if there are any hard feelings, they will be directed at him, not you. And unless he's mature enough, and sure enough about his feelings for you to do it, then I have some sad news for you. He's not "Mr. Right"; he's "Mr. Wrong" again.