DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband, "Roy," learned he was HIV-positive last year. The only people who know are his doctors, his preacher, me and my current husband. Roy doesn't want our two grown daughters to find out because he doesn't want to be confronted with "questions." There are things about my ex and his lifestyle that I certainly don't want our girls to know about. However, I know that they love their daddy and would not dwell on how he got the virus but would act as his No. 1 support group.
If and when Roy's condition should progress into AIDS, I feel his daughters need to be there supporting him, not left out of the loop. I can't even begin to imagine how I could keep something like that a secret. What can I do? -- CAN'T DECIDE IN TEXAS
DEAR CAN'T DECIDE: For the time being, keep your husband's condition confidential. If and when his condition progresses into AIDS, revisit the question with him. At that time, I agree with you that your daughters should be told -- and he should be the one to do it. However, it is your husband's life and your husband's death, and his wishes should prevail.