DEAR ABBY: I'm having a bit of a dilemma. About two years ago, I proposed to my girlfriend, "Gigi," and she excitedly said yes. Eventually, Gigi and I no longer saw eye-to-eye. She returned the ring, and we both went our separate ways.

About a year ago, I met a lady I'll call Angel. Her co-worker had tried to arrange it for months. When we finally met, sparks flew! I still get excited thinking about that first meeting. Anyway, Angel and I have been dating long enough that I think she is definitely "The One." I can see myself settling down with her.

Would it be appropriate to get the stones removed from the engagement ring I got back from Gigi and have them placed in another setting for Angel? The large diamond cost me almost $3,000 and, for me, that's expensive. -- READY TO CUT THE CAKE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR READY: There's an old saying: If you want to make rabbit stew, first catch the rabbit. Do nothing with the ring that was returned until you have discussed the matter with Angel. If Angel accepts your proposal, explain the situation and ask your fiancee what she'd prefer. But don't be surprised if she doesn't want the stone because it symbolizes a failed romance.

Your letter reminds me of an old joke my mother told me years ago. Two women were sitting next to each other at the beauty shop when one noticed that the other was wearing a large diamond ring. "Why, Mrs. Harold!" she exclaimed. "What a gorgeous diamond. Wherever did you get it?"

Her companion held out her hand and said: "Why thank you. My husband gave it to me. It's the famous Harold diamond. It has a curse on it."

"A curse?" the woman asked. "What kind of curse?"

Sighed her friend, "The curse is Harold."

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Dina," turned 21 last February. She is planning to marry a wonderful, sweet guy named "Steve" in September. While I was at their apartment last week, the subject of children came up. Steve said he wanted three kids and rubbed Dina's belly. My sister just smiled.

Abby, my sister can't have children. She had a hysterectomy when she was 16. Dina apparently hasn't told him. I asked her about it, and she said she would tell Steve after the wedding. Shouldn't this be done before the wedding? -- TRUTHFUL IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TRUTHFUL: Your sister's fiance should definitely be told the truth before the wedding takes place. To do otherwise could be considered fraud, and grounds for an annulment when the man finds out he was misled.

DEAR ABBY: I am a college student, and I often travel to and from college with my mom. On a recent trip we spent the night at a nice hotel, and some of the people on our floor were really noisy. As hotel guests, should we have knocked on their door and asked them to keep it down, or is it the hotel manager's job to keep the peace? -- WONDERING IN FALLON, NEV.

DEAR WONDERING: It is hotel security whose job it is to keep the peace. If you were bothered by noise from another room, you should have called the front desk and reported the problem. Hotel staff would have taken it from there.

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to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "In Love Again," whose wife died of cancer four months ago and who insists he's ready to remarry, impelled me to write. My husband died suddenly nine months ago. He was only 47. (I am 48.) I joined a grief support group for people under 50.

In one of the sessions, the subject of hasty remarriage was discussed. The counselor leading the group dropped this pearl of wisdom: "Women grieve alone, and men grieve with another woman."

I agree with you and with "In Love's" pastors that four months is too soon to become engaged. If he can find a support group like the one I had, he should go. It gave me tools to cope and affirmation that I wasn't crazy as I experienced the stages of grief. -- BEEN THERE IN MANSFIELD, MASS.

DEAR BEEN THERE: Although I warned "In Love Again" to take his time, some readers disagreed. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My first wife died unexpectedly in 1991. Eight months later, I married a widow I'd known for 12 years. Some of my seven children were so angry they refused to attend the wedding. That really hurt.

To make a long story short, we celebrate every month of marriage with an anniversary card that I create on my computer, flowers from the grocery store, and dinner at a nice restaurant. We just celebrated our 163rd month anniversary. Tell that man to get married! -- JOE F. IN INDIO, CALIF.

DEAR JOE F.: If the two of you are happy, I'm happy for you. However, you knew your present wife for 12 years before you married her. "In Love" has known his lady friend only four months. Call me cautious, but that's an awfully short time.

DEAR ABBY: My father, a prominent minister of a large church, married his secretary three months after my mother's death from cancer. After mother's funeral, Dad was besieged by a hoard of single women offering food, help ... and more. His marriage may have been partly in self-defense.

My brother, my wife and I loved the new wife. She was wonderful for Dad during the five years before their deaths in a car accident. Although I agree with your advice to take it more slowly, I'm glad Dad had a great partner in his final years. Good luck to "In Love Again." -- LOWELL IN DENVER

DEAR LOWELL: I'm sorry your father's time with his second wife was so short. Several readers wrote to say that if "In Love" is a senior citizen, his age should be taken into consideration.

DEAR ABBY: When I read the letter from "In Love Again," it was like I was revisiting my recent past. Today marks exactly one year and one day since I lost my beloved wife to cancer. We were married 13 years.

I was lonely, depressed and starved for physical intimacy. Two months later, I began dating a woman at work. It wasn't long before I thought I had met the next "love of my life." Despite warnings from family, friends and co-workers, I persisted. I isolated myself from anyone who said I was making a mistake.

The relationship finally ran its course, and we ended it. Now that I have some perspective, I see I was blind to what everyone who cared about me could see: It was happening too soon and for all the wrong reasons.

I encourage "In Love" to slow down. If it's true love, and not a reaction to grief and loneliness, it'll stand the test of time. If not, he'll be doing himself and the lady a big favor. -- ROBERT IN LAS VEGAS

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DEAR ABBY: We have a stalker living in our apartment building. It's the residential manager, "Jerry." The owners of the building have been called several times about it, but all they say is, "He's just weird."

Several women tenants say he's harassing them. Jerry has tried to enter their apartments late at night. One lady feels her safety is being threatened because he goes through the halls announcing that she is alone now. When she informed her doctor about it, he said he was going to call the sheriff.

One of the women is thinking about asking to have deadbolt locks installed on the inside of our doors. Have you any other suggestions? -- SINGLE AND WORRIED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR WORRIED: Just this. Although a landlord may be entitled to have access to an apartment, that access has to be reasonable. Tenants have rights, and the concerned tenants in your building should consult a real estate attorney who can review your leases and explain what your rights are. Jerry appears to be more than weird; his behavior seems bizarre and I don't blame you for being concerned about it.

DEAR ABBY: My 11-year-old son, "Noah," still wets the bed. I did, too, until I was 12 -- so I know how humiliating it is. My husband, "Phil," thinks Noah is just too lazy to get up and that he's doing it on purpose.

Phil makes nasty comments to Noah that chip away at his self-esteem. No matter how many times we've talked about this, Phil just doesn't get it. He's not a verbal abuser; he is just ignorant. Maybe hearing an opinion from a professional will make my husband realize it's not just me protecting my child. -- CONCERNED MOM IN APPLE VALLEY

DEAR CONCERNED MOM: I disagree with you. Your husband may be ignorant, but he is also a verbal abuser. The professional who needs to set your husband straight is your son's pediatrician. Your boy may be an unusually deep sleeper, or he may have some kind of physical or emotional problem. Belittling him isn't the answer. It will only create a resentment on your son's part that will last a lifetime.

DEAR ABBY: Can you clarify a question that has been brought up here at my workplace? The ladies in my office have a difference of opinion about what "spending the night" means. If you sleep at someone's house and get up the next morning to go home and get dressed, brush your teeth, etc. -- does this mean that you have spent the night? A few of the ladies say this isn't spending the night, but rather, "getting home really late."

Your opinion, please. -- ARGUING SEMANTICS, STANDARDSVILLE, VA.

DEAR ARGUING: "Getting home really late" implies that the person has rested her head on her own pillow -- at least for a while. If she has gone home only to change clothes, let's be honest -- she has not only "spent the night," she has also spent the early hours of the morning.

DEAR ABBY: I recall your saying that if you find out your significant other or spouse has been in an affair, you should get tested for various STDs. Exactly which ones should I be tested for? -- NEVER THOUGHT I'D NEED TO KNOW IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR NEVER: Talk to your doctor and ask to be tested for all of them.

DEAR ABBY: I recall your saying that if you find out your significant other or spouse has been in an affair, you should get tested for various STDs. Exactly which ones should I be tested for? -- NEVER THOUGHT I'D NEED TO KNOW IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR NEVER: Talk to your doctor and ask to be tested for all of them.