DEAR ABBY: I am 15. Just 18 days before our three-month anniversary of dating, my boyfriend, "Brandon," broke up with me. He was my first love and I am heartbroken. Seeing him having fun with someone else, while I am alone and hurting, is awful. I want to be happy, but I still love Brandon and want him back.

My friends and my parents all tell me to get over him. I don't want to get over Brandon. I want to know how to get him back. I miss everything we had together. When I think about the fun we had, I break down and cry. What do I do, Abby? I'm miserable without him. How do I stop loving him? -- CRYING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR CRYING: Teenage romances can be complicated and painful, and you have my sympathy. Your problem isn't a new one; it's been happening ever since boys and girls started noticing each other. In my booklet for teens there is a section titled "Breaking Up -- or What to Do With the Pieces." In it, I say:

"Speak only well of each other -- or not at all -- after the break.

"Attend parties and school affairs, and develop new interests.

"Keep busy. Avoid the 'old reminders,' which tend to make you moody and broody. Put away or get rid of the pictures, photos and gifts ... unless you enjoy punishing yourself.

"Turn a deaf ear to anyone who wants to pry or question you.

"Girls: A boy says 'it's over' when he stops calling. Usually he gives no reason, but he has them. This means it's time to forget him.

"Boys: A girl will generally give you her reason. Accept it, whatever it is. This means, for you, too, it's time to move on.

"Once it's over, all the note-writing, phoning or conniving will not help your cause. Don't ask a mutual friend to help you 'get him (or her) back.' It will only make you look foolish.

"For all of you -- chalk it up to experience and a part of growing up. There's no growth without a little pain; and it only hurts for a little while."

There are dozens of other things I tell teens to ease them through these difficult, tumultuous years. "What Every Teen Should Know" can be ordered by sending a business-sized, self-addressed envelope plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Is there a tactful way to let a good neighbor know that her wind chimes are driving us crazy? This neighbor hung the chimes on the opposite side of the house from their bedroom -- right next to our screened porch and bedroom window. I suspect that they never hear them, yet we must listen to them all day and all night. -- CRAVING PEACE AND QUIET, LEXINGTON, KY.

DEAR CRAVING: Here's how I'd handle it. I'd bake a batch of cookies or a pie and take it next door. As I offered the goodies to my neighbor, I would say, "I'm sure you're probably not aware of this, but your wind chimes clink day and night -- and they're driving my husband and me to distraction. Would you mind hanging them someplace else?" If she's as good a neighbor as you say, I'm sure she'll accommodate you.

DEAR ABBY: I rarely disagree with you, but after seeing the letter about a woman in a wheelchair cutting into line and "demanding access" to a handicapped restroom stall, I had to write.

Because of post-polio syndrome, I must use a wheelchair outside my home if walking even a moderate distance. To my knowledge, wheelchair users have the same bladder control as anyone else and require no special treatment. Unfortunately, some wheelchair users abuse their obvious physical problems and, at times, become tyrants. However, most of us want to be treated exactly like everyone else unless there's some kind of barrier such as a door that's difficult to open. Otherwise, we do not want special treatment. -- ABBY FAN, JAMESTOWN, N.Y.

DEAR FAN: Other readers echoed your sentiments, and some pointed out that there are people with "hidden" disabilities such as irritable bowel syndrome or incontinence. They felt, as you do, that the woman in the wheelchair was out of line (forgive the pun) for being demanding.

I feel, however, that the person standing in line should have offered to let the woman in the wheelchair go in first. And if she couldn't wait, she should have asked the woman for permission to go ahead of her. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The Americans With Disabilities Act affords persons with disabilities "equal, but not better" access to public services and programs. While it may be "nice" that an able-bodied person allows someone in a wheelchair to have first access to the large stall, legally a person in a wheelchair has to wait just like everyone else. -- AMY IN MADISON, WIS.

DEAR AMY: Let's use logic and consider statistical probability. If the bathroom contained four stalls, and only one was wheelchair-accessible, the odds of the person in the wheelchair getting to go to the bathroom were not "equal." An able-bodied person would have a 100 percent chance of getting a stall, while the disabled person would have only a 25 percent probability (1-in-4). To me, that's not "equal access."

DEAR ABBY: I'm disabled and can't count the times I've entered public restrooms and found the only occupied stall was the one that's handicapped-accessible. Last weekend at the supermarket, the occupant was reading the Sunday paper.

I'd love for anyone who thinks the woman in that letter "bullied" her way into line to spend one week in a wheelchair. They'd quickly discover what a gift their accessibility grants them on a daily basis. Perhaps then they'd understand the frustration of having only one stall to use, and having people who don't need it tell them they need to wait. -- ROSE IN ALTAMONTE SPRINGS, FLA.

DEAR ROSE: We think alike.

DEAR ABBY: Last December, I took my very ill, 80-year-old mother Christmas shopping. She needed to use the restroom, but her wheelchair wouldn't fit through the door. While Mom was struggling to get from her wheelchair into the stall, a woman in her mid-30s charged in and pushed her aside. My mom, who couldn't even stand straight, ended up having an "accident" because of the woman's aggressive rudeness. There's no doubt at all that she saw my mother struggling.

Mom rarely goes anywhere now; she is in hospice. But I'll never forget the incident. There's something seriously wrong with a nation that fails to honor and respect their elderly. Who would do something like that to someone who is old and disabled -- even if they do "gotta go right now"? Thanks for letting me vent! -- VICKI IN ROCKFORD, ILL.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm a police officer with a large metropolitan police department. I have been dating a wonderful woman I'll call "Jamie" who was raised in -- and still resides in -- a small town where everyone knows everyone, and many people still leave their doors unlocked. I'm frustrated with her because she's so trusting of everyone.

The last time Jamie came here to visit, she accepted a ride from a complete stranger while walking to a nightclub. Because she thought he was "nice," she also gave him her name and phone number. Jamie frequently picks up hitchhikers, and last week after she finished work, she let an intoxicated male come to her barber shop at 10 p.m. and gave him a haircut. When she was finished cutting his hair, she told me he took out a bag of marijuana and asked her to smoke with him. Jamie does not use controlled substances. She says she gave him a ride back to his hotel so he would leave the shop.

I constantly tell my girlfriend to use common sense with strangers and stop assuming everyone is nice. I see violence, misery and mayhem every day, and I tell her about it. I'm afraid unless she starts using common sense that one day she'll be a victim. Please help me get through to her. Jamie is a wonderful person, but she won't listen to me. -- WITS' END IN THE WEST

DEAR "END": While I admire your girlfriend's optimism, I agree her naivete is dangerous. So far she has been lucky -- but any one of the incidents you described could have ended badly.

A picture is worth a thousand words. Because you have been unable to convince her verbally, consider showing her photographs of what has happened to some of the individuals who became victims because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, or because they trusted a stranger. If that doesn't wake her up, nothing will.

DEAR ABBY: I have wanted to convert to Judaism ever since I was 16. (I am now 19.) I was raised as a Christian by non-religious parents. But when I announced that I wanted to convert, they had a fit.

I now realize that I would like to go further than conversion, Abby. I would like to become a rabbi. When I told my parents, they became so upset they ordered me to see a psychologist. It was hurtful enough that they didn't accept my conversion -- and now this. What should I do? -- DEPRESSED IN ASHEBORO, N.C.

DEAR DEPRESSED: Discuss this with your rabbi, who I am sure will be sympathetic and supportive, and by all means talk with a psychologist. A mental health professional may be able to help you find a way to make your parents understand that this is YOUR life and future, and not a criticism of them or the way they raised you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a question regarding table manners. He says that when you are eating with your right hand, your left arm should be resting on the table fully extended.

I say your left hand should be in your lap. Who is right? -- WONDERING IN WINDSOR, CALIF.

DEAR WONDERING: You are. According to Emily Post's Etiquette (16th Edition): "You may rest your hands and wrists -- but not your entire forearm -- on the edge of the table."

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)