DEAR ABBY: Thank you for the letter about hotel workers and how we're not baby sitters. You stated that we members of the hospitality industry make guests feel so "at home" that they "forget" they truly aren't. This is so true!

I am shocked how often parents leave young children in rooms unattended. They assume if the door locks behind them, the child is contained and safe. Not true! Many times, toddlers with limited speaking ability open the door and end up roaming the floor or the lobby. Once they're discovered, they can't tell us what room they came from or who their parents are. It's frustrating trying to locate the absent parents in the gym, spa, restaurant, shop or bar.

I want to make sure your message that hotel staff cannot be baby sitters and conduct business is repeated even more sternly. This includes parents who have left a child napping ("just for a minute!") and now the child awakens, frightened that Mommy and Daddy aren't there, and leaves the room to find them. Thank you, Abby! -- HOTELIER IN ORLANDO, FLA.

DEAR HOTELIER: When I printed that letter, I had no idea it would touch so many nerves. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I travel 10 to 12 times a year, and I can see what the writer is talking about at almost every hotel I stay in. I was in a hotel restaurant in Washington, D.C., recently. A couple had their 2-year-old with them. The child was running wild all over the restaurant, which had a large 2-foot-deep fountain next to it. The staff repeatedly requested that the parents keep their child near them and received no support.

Needless to say, the child wandered over the bridge by the fountain, crawled through the railings and fell in face first. (It was about 10 feet from where I was sitting.) I jumped in and pulled the kid out while the parents and staff just watched. Do you know those parents never even thanked me? They just took the child and finished eating! -- DAVID IN LAKE JACKSON, TEXAS

DEAR DAVID: Just when I think I've heard everything, I receive a letter like yours. That child may have been drenched, but the parents were all wet.

DEAR ABBY: I have worked at a hotel in northern Minnesota for three years. We often host kids' sports teams and their parents. The parents regard these tournament weekends as a private getaway and often leave their children alone in the hotel while they're out drinking and carousing. With no supervision, the children run up and down the halls, make noise and disturb other guests.

Thank you, Abby, for urging parents to pay more attention to how their children behave at hotels. It's not only for the benefit of other guests, but also for the safety of their young ones. -- DESK CLERK

DEAR DESK CLERK: You're welcome.

DEAR ABBY: Here's how the Atlantic City casinos dealt with the problem, which had become monumental. We had children crawling on the floors, running races, sleeping under shrubs -- you name it, we had it.

After some horrendous acts against children a few years back, rules were set up to deal with unattended juveniles. Signs were prominently posted that read, "We care. Unattended children will be turned over to the Atlantic City Police Department."

If, in a reasonable amount of time, the parent or guardian of the unattended child can't be located, the police are called and the child turned over to Youth and Family Services. The result? There are very few unattended juveniles roaming the casino lobbies or hallways. -- READER IN BRIGANTINE, N.J.

DEAR READER: An effective solution to a serious problem.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, I was out shopping when I got the urge to use the washroom. When I got there, the line was out the door. There was about a 10-minute wait.

As I finally neared the stall, the woman ahead of me in line began to bounce. I could empathize. But right before a stall became available, a woman in a wheelchair rolled in and parked next to us. (Of course, the handicap stall was the next one available.)

The person ahead of me began to walk forward, but the woman in the wheelchair became loud and belligerent about being handicapped, and claimed the stall. The woman in front of me and I just looked at each other -- and then she deferred to the individual in the wheelchair.

Please set me straight, Abby. Should a handicapped individual take precedence over a stall when the washroom line is long? -- MORALLY CONFUSED IN JOLIET, ILL.

DEAR CONFUSED: I'm overjoyed to set you straight. Handicapped stalls are set aside for people with disabilities to use because their wheelchairs will not fit into a regular stall. Without question, the person with the physical disability should have access to it first. Absolutely!

DEAR ABBY: Back in 1975, I was given a fabulous gift -- a bottle of Elvis Presley wine. His picture is on the bottle, and it says, "Always, Elvis -- Gold Record Edition Collector's Series I." It also says Frontenac Blanc D'Oro White Wine -- Product and Vineyards of Italy, imported by International Wine Co., Detroit, Mich.

It has never been opened, but I see the wine slowly evaporating. Do you think anyone would be interested in this bottle? -- DELORES IN HUDSON, FLA.

DEAR DELORES: I took your question to a cellar master/sommelier, who informs me that, because it's evaporating, your bottle of wine may no longer be drinkable -- even if it was stored properly.

However, you might offer the bottle of collector's wine on an auction site because it could interest a collector of Elvis memorabilia. (For example: eBay.) Good luck!

DEAR ABBY: I am 12 and in the eighth grade. I have thought about suicide many times, and earlier pulled out a knife and almost slit my wrists.

If I tell my parents, they won't believe me. They'll think I'm making it up to get attention. If I talk to the school counselor, she'll tell my parents for sure.

I'm afraid of myself when I'm home alone sometimes. Can you please help me? -- AFRAID OF MYSELF, PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR AFRAID: You need more help than anyone can give you in a letter. Preoccupation with suicide is serious and calls for help from a mental health professional.

Because you feel your parents may minimize the seriousness of your suicidal thoughts if you tell them, ask a trusted teacher or school counselor to help you. Perhaps if they hear it from another adult, your parents will treat the news with the seriousness it deserves.

Another option would be to call a crisis hotline when you are tempted to injure yourself. Just pick up the phone and ask the operator to connect you. I wish you luck and a speedy recovery from this illness.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I was so angry after reading the letter about the selfish idiot of a husband who took his mother shopping after his wife's water broke, I had to write. What kind of a spineless wuss is he? His mother should have been told, "My wife and baby are more important than a shopping trip."

As a nurse, I know that after the water breaks, the mom needs to get to the hospital. It's dangerous for her not to. Mother should be sent home and not invited back. She put both mom and baby in danger, and as a mother she should know that. I can't believe a grown woman would be so selfish and manipulative. I hope for their sakes she lives far away. Thanks for letting me vent. -- UPSET IN COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR UPSET: That's what I'm here for. You're not alone in your sentiments. The responses to that letter were vehement. Read on:

FROM WARRENVILLE, OHIO: The amniotic sac is the only protection an unborn child has from germs, viruses, etc. Even if the woman is not experiencing labor pains, when the water breaks, she should immediately go to the hospital. It was child abuse for "Dana's" husband to delay medical treatment so he could take his mother to the video store. His claim that his wife should have "insisted" is like saying, "You should have stopped me from beating you." He's blaming his wife for his own bad behavior.

FROM COLUMBIA, S.C.: That man is so into his mother I can't figure out how the pregnancy took place. That man needs a spinning drop-kick to the head. What kind of lunatic would act that way? No one wants to raise a child alone, but it would have served him right if his wife had called a cab, gotten herself to the hospital, and had him served with divorce papers right in the delivery room. And he's blaming her for not being assertive enough? You were too easy on him.

FROM FORT BRAGG, N.C.: That letter brought back memories. After we had our second child, my mother-in-law, "Dixie," talked my husband into leaving me alone with our 2-year-old so they could take a two-day trip to visit his brother. I was invited, too, but having had a C-section less than three days before, I wasn't ready for a three-hour car ride. I was in tears when my mother arrived a few hours later.

A few weeks before the birth of our third child, I informed my husband that if he left me again, our marriage was over. He assured me his mother wouldn't ask. Sure enough, a couple of days later, she did. (This time he told her no.)

I was able to make my point clearly to her a few years later. Dixie had a hysterectomy. When I visited her in the hospital, I invited her to accompany me to my brother-in-law's house three hours away. She wasn't amused, but she got the point.

FROM FORT WORTH, TEXAS: A man who would leave his wife home alone while she's in labor so Mommy can go on a shopping spree does not deserve to be called a man. I can tell you right now, my wife would divorce me over that one!

FROM RICHMOND, VA.: I'm one of your male readers. The first thing the wife should have done when she awoke was hit her husband over the head with a bedpan. Better yet, tell me where he lives and I'LL do it. I have a feeling that new mom now has two children to raise.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)