life

Abby's Kentucky Pecan Pie Is Slice of Southern History

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 18th, 2005 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I have been making your pecan pie recipe for more than 10 years and have received many compliments along the way.

Several years ago, a festival was held in our small town on the courthouse lawn. Among the activities was a contest for the best pie, which I entered using your recipe. To the delight of my wife and friends, and the chagrin of the other contestants -- all ladies of the town -- I took first prize! Of course, I had to bake one for each and every one of my close friends. I think it's time you reprinted the recipe.

Love your column, Abby. -- DAVID HARPER, FAYETTEVILLE, TENN.

DEAR DAVID: I'm taking your suggestion, and I'm delighted that the pie was such a hit for you. My mother, Pauline Phillips, a woman with a notorious sweet tooth, discovered it in the early '60s when it was served to her at the now-demolished Phoenix Hotel in Lexington, Ky. The recipe was created by the hotel's pastry chef, who kindly shared the recipe with her.

Readers, today I'm sharing the recipe with you:

ABBY'S FAMOUS PECAN PIE

-- 9-inch unbaked pie crust

-- 1 cup light corn syrup

-- 1 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar

-- 3 eggs, slightly beaten

-- 1/3 cup butter, melted

-- 1/2 teaspoon salt

-- 1 teaspoon vanilla

-- 1 heaping cup pecan halves

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees.

2. In a large bowl, combine corn syrup, sugar, eggs, butter, salt and vanilla; mix well. Pour into unbaked pie crust; sprinkle with pecan halves.

3. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes or until center is set. (Toothpick inserted in center will come out clean when pie is done.) Cool. If crust or pie appears to be getting too brown, cover with foil for the remaining baking time.

You can top it with a bit of whipped cream, but even plain, nothing tops this!

TIP: The original recipe stated that the pie should be baked 45 to 50 minutes in a preheated 350-degree gas oven. If an electric oven is used, it may be necessary to add 15 to 20 minutes to the baking time. (Begin testing the pie with a toothpick after 45 minutes.)

Readers, this recipe is included in my set of cookbooklets, which contain more than 100 mouthwatering recipes for soups, salads, appetizers, main courses and desserts. Some people have told me they have held "Dear Abby Dinner Parties" using the cookbooklets. The set can be ordered by sending a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

life

Dear Abby for May 18, 2005

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 18th, 2005 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: Can you explain to me why everybody in the neighborhood can hear a barking dog except the dog's owner? -- PETER IN CANTON, OHIO

DEAR PETER: For the same reason that the parents of screaming children in restaurants ignore it. They've grown so used to it that they no longer hear the disruption.

life

End of Life Care Decisions Weigh Heavily on Daughter

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 17th, 2005 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My mother died last December from internal bleeding. Against her wishes, I put her on a respirator. I wanted her to be around until all her family could be with her. I know that taking her off the respirator was the right thing to do. Five doctors said there was no hope. But I was looked down on by her brother and my sister. Everyone had me second-guessing myself.

My ex-husband agrees that what I did was right, because Mom wouldn't have wanted to survive with no quality of life.

My father has been ill for a long time, but recently has taken a turn for the worse. I'm doing the best I can to care for him and do the right thing, but it's like dealing with my mother's death all over again. My sister makes me feel like I'm trying to hurry Dad into the grave, but I don't feel that I am. Dad and Mom were married 51 years; he has been very lonely without her.

Dad suffers from lung cancer, congestive heart failure and poor circulation because of diabetes. My sister doesn't want to let him go, and I don't want him to linger. I want him to be happy and go in peace to where he wants to be.

I have arranged for hospice and we're keeping Dad medicated for comfort. But my sister thinks I'm keeping him drugged up to push him to die. I'm emotionally exhausted and tired of battling with my sister. I'm still mourning the loss of Mom. Can you give me some words of wisdom or help? –- HEARTBROKEN IN MISSOURI

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Assuming the role of head of the family is never easy, and my hat is off to you for stepping up to the plate as you have.

Your father could not have been placed in a hospice program unless his doctor(s) agreed that he has less than six months to live. Hospice assures that the time he has left will be spent as comfortably as possible, but it also does more than that. It offers spiritual counseling to the patient's family during their own time of need. I urge you to discuss with the hospice staff the pressure you're under, so that both you and your sister can receive some much-needed counseling and support. They can help the both of you through this transition. You have my sympathy.

Readers, for information about hospice, contact National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization at � HYPERLINK "http://www.caringinfo.org" ��www.caringinfo.org�, or call toll-free (800) 658-8898.

life

Dear Abby for May 17, 2005

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 17th, 2005 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have three children, so our social life revolves mostly around them, our families and church. Although I am considered quite attractive, I always dress very conservatively.

My husband and I have planned a long, romantic weekend getaway at a resort about 300 miles from here. I have been considering wearing some sexy outfits when we go out to dinner and to the nightclub at the resort. Normally, I'd feel uncomfortable dressing "wild and sexy," but since it's highly unlikely that we'll run into anyone we know there, I think it would be fun. My husband always loved it when I wore miniskirts, so I know how he would feel about it.

Can you offer your opinion? I can't ask any of my friends about this because I'm afraid they might gossip about my private life. -- USUALLY SHY IN THE NORTHEAST

DEAR USUALLY SHY: I think your plan sounds great. Discuss it with your husband first, so the shock doesn't kill him. Then go and have a great time. And if, by chance, you should happen to encounter someone you know, remember you're a respectable married lady, and you have nothing to apologize for.

life

Dear Abby for May 17, 2005

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 17th, 2005 | Letter 3 of 3

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

life

Aunt Worries That Aggressive Dog Will Attack Niece's Baby

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 16th, 2005 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have a married niece with a 4-month-old baby girl whom I love dearly. They have a medium-sized dog that they rescued from a shelter, and the dog is prone to attacking other dogs. For a time they considered returning the dog to the shelter, but now they have it trained quite well. It responds to voice commands, but is still aggressive, primarily to other dogs. On at least one occasion my niece and her husband have paid vet bills for dogs that have been injured.

This dog stays in the house with them and the baby, and my fear is that as the baby gets a little older, this dog may attack her.

I'm an emergency room nurse. I have seen the results of dog attacks on small children. Most of them were house pets with no history of aggressiveness. It seems the sounds a small child makes, combined with their normal, uncoordinated movement and grabbing, can mimic prey-like activity. The dogs, responding like the animals they are, attack. In one instance, the injured toddler died.

I have cautioned my niece and her husband not to let the dog lick (they say "kiss") the baby or let her play near the dog unsupervised, which they don't always do. Even on a leash, I have seen this dog lunge at another dog without warning. I fear for the safety of the child.

Please address this concern. My niece reads your column and may listen to you. Think I'm just an overly concerned aunt? -- DEEPLY CONCERNED IN EVANSTON, ILL.

DEAR CONCERNED: You are not "overly" concerned. Because of your experiences in the ER, you have seen firsthand the tragic result of this kind of negligence.

As much as your niece and her husband love their dog, they are barking up the wrong tree by leaving their baby alone with an animal that has shown aggressive tendencies. My experts tell me that small children should not be around animals unless supervised. Period. And as to kissing a baby's face -- let's just say that a dog's mouth is less than sanitary. I hope these new parents will rethink their stance on this subject.

life

Dear Abby for May 16, 2005

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 16th, 2005 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Eve," and I have been married for 36 years. Our children are grown and flew the nest years ago.

I'm an avid ballroom dancer. Eve and I took lessons years ago and dance well together. However, she's no longer enthusiastic about dancing. Eve prefers playing contract bridge with her friends, and does so whenever she's invited. Some weeks she may be out playing two or three nights. She's an excellent player, and I'm glad she enjoys herself.

When I ask Eve out for a movie and dancing, she'll agree to the movie but not the dancing. I am tired of asking her and being refused, so when she declines, I go by myself and dance with other people. When I do, Eve lays a guilt trip on me, acts very jealous, and makes nasty comments about my going out and dancing with "sluts."

This is not accurate. I have always been a faithful husband. My dance partners are polite and nice, and I don't "hit on" them. Eve knows that. Of course, I'd prefer a night out dancing with the woman I love, and I constantly tell her so, but she won't let it happen. How should I handle this? -- SAD DANCER, PARIS, KY.

DEAR SAD: It would be nice if your wife would put your feelings first occasionally, but she doesn't appear to be that generous, and I don't have a magic wand that can change her. So handle the situation the way you have been, and when your wife tries to make you feel guilty, tune her out.

life

Dear Abby for May 16, 2005

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 16th, 2005 | Letter 3 of 3

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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