DEAR ABBY: I had to write after reading the letter about "Granny Clair" who reeks of mothballs. My mother's home was also filled with mothballs. All her clothing smelled like mothballs, too. About 15 years ago, she experienced bad vertigo and nausea. One doctor told her it was her inner ear. Another told her it was her eyes.

Three years ago, we visited her in winter while the house was all closed up. One morning I awoke with so much dizziness and nausea I could hardly lift my head. When I returned to California, I mentioned it to my doctor, who told me I had been poisoned by the mothballs. Later, my mother had to move to a convalescent home. After six months of living there, her vertigo disappeared.

Please let people who use mothballs know they should be careful how they use them. We're lucky neither of us died from it. -- DARLENE IN MISSION VIEJO, CALIF.

DEAR DARLENE: Thank you for the warning. I'm sure more than a few people will be surprised to learn that mothballs can be toxic to humans. (I was.) Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I'm very concerned about that 75-year-old grandmother whose house is permeated with the smell of mothballs. The main component of mothballs is naphthalene, an aromatic hydrocarbon, which can cause all sorts of neurological problems, as well as hemolytic anemia, kidney and liver damage and cataracts. Remember, this is a poison that is meant to kill insects, and humans or other mammals are not immune to its effects.

Other aromatic hydrocarbons include benzene, gasoline, phenol, styrene, toluene and xylene, which are known to cause neurological damage.

I would not take Granny Claire to an ear, nose and throat specialist. I'd take her immediately to her internist and explain the situation so that the proper blood tests can be administered. -- WORRIED ABOUT GRANNY'S HEALTH IN IRVINE, CALIF.

DEAR WORRIED: Good grief! I will contact the woman's relative immediately and make sure that it's done.

DEAR ABBY: I'm deeply worried about the elderly woman who smells of mothballs. There are warnings on the container about their toxicity and the danger of too much exposure to the vapors, which she is receiving if her clothes aren't aired out thoroughly before they are worn. She may be unaware of the danger, and feel that "if a little is good, a lot is better," which is common in older people who are unaware of the downside of pesticides.

Maybe one of her trusted relatives can work with her to limit the mothball use to one closed trunk, and help her air out her house and clothing. If there is a moth problem, there are other less toxic ways to get rid of the pests.

Thanks for helping to educate a lot of people today. Pesticides, including such common "harmless" ones as mothballs, must be treated with respect. -- JERI, AN R.N. IN MICHIGAN

DEAR JERI: I learn from my readers every day. I'm pleased to help.

DEAR ABBY: I bought a rubber garbage container with a tight-fitting lid. I roll my clothes so they'll take less space and fill it halfway up. On top of them I place a sheet of fabric softener or perfumed soap bars. Then I put the remaining clothes into the container, top them with another sheet of fabric softener and put on the lid. I never find any insects or critters later. I am a contemporary of "Granny Claire's" and hope she'll take my advice. -- EVONNE IN DENVER

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DEAR ABBY: I'm in love with the perfect guy, but I have a gnawing worry. "Clayton" and I have been dating for three months. We're so convinced we are meant to be together forever that we have already announced our plans to marry in a few months.

So why the worry? Clayton has been married twice. Both marriages ended because he was unfaithful. Clayton swears he's a changed man. I believe him. He looks me in the eye and says I'm the one he has searched for and needed his entire life.

I am 30 and have never been married. I can hardly wait to have children with Clayton so we can raise them together. He's excited, too, which surprises me because he's in his mid-40s and has two teenagers. He's very active in their lives. (He and his wife parted amicably.)

I sometimes sense odd vibes from his co-workers and acquaintances, but I'm new in town and no one has come out and said anything about him. I did overhear one person comment as we passed by, "There goes the Casanova of Cleveland."

As I write this, I have even more doubts. Does it mean anything that I'm afraid to tell my father about Clayton's marital and sexual history for fear he won't understand? Please hurry your advice. -- CAN'T WAIT IN OHIO

DEAR CAN'T WAIT: You have been swept off your feet. When someone falls as hard and as fast as you have, emotions rule and it's difficult to think rationally. The "little questions" in the back of your mind are your common sense trying to break through the fog.

Although you say you're afraid to tell your father about your boyfriend's history for fear "he won't understand," I suspect the opposite is true. You're afraid he WILL understand. And while no one has said anything directly to you about Clayton, the comment "There goes the Casanova of Cleveland" carries a pretty direct message.

My advice is to slow down, become engaged for a year, and get to know Clayton much better before rushing to the altar. And please don't try to keep secrets from your father. When someone is as famous -- or infamous -- as Clayton has made himself, the truth has a way of coming out.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in the 10th grade. Academics are important to me, but so are my friends and hobbies. I'm a member of the rowing team, which practices every morning at 5 a.m., and two days after school. That means I have to wake up at 4 a.m. to get to practice on time.

I love my crew, but it has taken over my life completely. I fall asleep in class and am too tired to do anything with my girlfriends, plus when I'm not rowing I'm too busy catching up with schoolwork to do anything fun. I feel like I'm missing out on my own life.

I can't miss practice because that would let the girls on my team down and disappoint my coach, plus it would make my teammates' goals unattainable. I feel trapped, Abby. Quitting is unthinkable; rowing is my life right now. But I also want to have more of a "teenage" experience while I still can. -- TRAPPED IN MY SPORT IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TRAPPED: You ARE having a teenage experience. Because you have not learned to budget your time, you have overextended yourself. Please discuss this with your teachers and your parents, because you have some important decisions to make. Your studies must take precedence over your sport, because if they don't, you'll find yourself paddling upstream alone when it's time for college.

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DEAR ABBY: My husband and I went to a funeral to pay our respects to our neighbor and his family for the loss of his father. I had met the parents on a few prior occasions; my husband had not.

As I was expressing my sympathy and talking with the widow about her husband and their life together, she became a little teary-eyed -- so I continued to stand with her and hold her hand and speak with her. The incident lasted about two or three minutes.

My husband feels I should have only expressed my condolences and quickly moved on. I am mortified that I may have done something inappropriate and caused this woman pain. What should I have done? -- WONDERING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR WONDERING: A funeral is not an assembly line. You did the right thing by taking the widow's hand, expressing your condolences, and allowing her to share her feelings. Your husband may have been embarrassed by the grieving woman's display of emotions, but that is his problem, so please don't allow him to make it yours.

DEAR ABBY: I have a mondo problem. I think my mom doesn't like me anymore. When I fell off my bike head-first without a helmet, she said I was "overdramatic."

I have fallen down 18 feet of stairs four times, and my dad was the only one who helped me. Sometimes my mom is really nice, but I am a little scared of her.

I would tell her myself, but I am 12 and still very sensitive. Please help. -- SCARED GIRL IN NASHVILLE

DEAR SCARED: Please clip this from the newspaper and put it on your mother's pillow:

DEAR MOTHER: Your little girl is either accident-prone or trying to get your attention. Please put forth a little more effort to show her you love her. A hug would be a good way to start. And because she will soon be a young woman, giving her a little more time would be greatly beneficial. She needs you very much, and it's sad that she had to do it through me.

DEAR ABBY: We have two beloved (deceased) pets -- a rabbit and a bird, buried in our back yard. Within the next two to five years, we plan to sell our house and move out of state.

What should we do about the pets we have buried in our yard? Should we leave their remains and just take along their plaques -- or take their remains and bury them at our new residence? This may seem like a silly question, but I'm terribly concerned. -- BRENDA IN LAKELAND, FLA.

DEAR BRENDA: No question that's sincere is "silly."

While some readers may disagree, I think you would be doing all involved a favor to leave the remains where they are. Your present home is the place where your pets lived full and happy lives -- and that is where their little spirits should remain, free to frolic forever.

DEAR ABBY: We have two beloved (deceased) pets -- a rabbit and a bird, buried in our back yard. Within the next two to five years, we plan to sell our house and move out of state.

What should we do about the pets we have buried in our yard? Should we leave their remains and just take along their plaques -- or take their remains and bury them at our new residence? This may seem like a silly question, but I'm terribly concerned. -- BRENDA IN LAKELAND, FLA.

DEAR BRENDA: No question that's sincere is "silly."

While some readers may disagree, I think you would be doing all involved a favor to leave the remains where they are. Your present home is the place where your pets lived full and happy lives -- and that is where their little spirits should remain, free to frolic forever.

DEAR ABBY: I want to know if you can become addicted to drugs by having sex with an addict.

Please don't print my name because I live in a small, conservative community in Ohio. -- NAMELESS IN A RED STATE

DEAR NAMELESS: Although you cannot become addicted to drugs by having sex with an addict, you CAN become addicted to drugs if you hang around with addicts and frequent places where drugs are easily available. (This is one of those situations where you should "just say no" and avoid temptation.)

CONFIDENTIAL TO PAULINE PHILLIPS IN MINNEAPOLIS: Happy Mother's Day, Mom! With all my love ... Jeanne, your firstborn.