DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for 10 years. I raised my three children alone while working a 40-hour week. It hasn't been easy.

Now that my youngest is 15 and the older two are out on their own, I decided to go out with "Harold," a gentleman I have known for five years. He would come every day to visit me and chat with me at work, so I finally accepted one of his invitations to go out for coffee.

Our relationship proceeded from there. Harold accepted me, the kids, my relatives and friends. We get along beautifully. We never disagree or argue. It's like I have been swept off my feet by Prince Charming. I have never been so happy. We do things as a family and are always together -– except every night he goes home at 11 p.m. to his house, which is one hour from mine.

So what's the problem? Harold never mentioned that he has been married for 27 years and has a large family with many grandchildren. I got a phone call from a lady named "Ellen" who told me that Harold is her husband. She said she loves him, and begged me to end the relationship and tell him to go home to his family.

When Harold showed up for supper last night I told him about the phone call. He didn't deny any of it. He asked me if he had said he was married, would I have had coffee with him? Would he be in my life now? He says their marriage has been over since 2000, but because they are wealthy, a divorce would be very expensive, so it's better they live together and go their separate ways. He swears that he loves only me and my family, and he wants our relationship to continue!

Abby, I'm 45 years old and scared. I can't believe this has happened to me. I'm sick, brokenhearted and confused. Please tell me what to do. -- MISERABLE IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MISERABLE: Harold may have financial wealth, but it appears he's morally bankrupt. He may "love you," but he loves two things more -– the status quo and his money. As much as you may care for him, please understand that you wouldn't be sick, brokenhearted and confused if he hadn't put you in this situation. Forty-five years old is the prime of life. Please don't be afraid. Tell this self-centered jerk the romance is over and send him back to his wife. The longer you allow this relationship to continue, the harder it'll be to make a new start -– and frankly, you deserve better.

DEAR ABBY: My 30-year-old daughter lives in Denver. She grew up with her mother, although I was an active -– albeit distant -– father.

My problem is that we very rarely communicate, and when we do, I always do the calling. I never receive a birthday or Father's Day card, or even a Christmas card from her, for that matter. Although I send her these little remembrances, she never acknowledges any gift or card from me or any of my family.

I now have a terminal illness, Abby. My daughter is aware of this. Should I press her for more contact, or has she given her answer to my condition? -- STUMPED DAD IN LOUISIANA

DEAR STUMPED DAD: Sometimes no communication sends a powerful message. Do not press your daughter for more contact. Do, however, write her a letter expressing what you need to say to her. That way, after you are gone, you will have left nothing unsaid.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I was more than a little put off by your response to "Happy Face in South Dakota," who asked wedding guests to be sure that widowed friends and relatives are asked to dance. Your response was that people should "pay attention to the wallflowers."

My dictionary defines "wallflower" as a girl who watches at a dance because of shyness or lack of a partner. The person who wrote you was not a shy, unescorted girl. She was a woman who had lost her partner through death, to whom the most basic social graces were not extended. Your use of the word "wallflower" was not only inappropriate, it was unkind. -- OFFENDED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR OFFENDED: Your sentiments were echoed by others, and I'd like to set the record straight. I have several dictionaries in my offices. My Webster's New World Dictionary defines a wallflower as, "a person, esp. a girl, who merely looks on at a dance, etc. as from shyness or lack of a partner." My Webster's Dictionary of the English Language (1979) defines a wallflower as "a person, esp. a girl or woman, who sits by the wall, or looks on, at a dance, sometimes from shyness but ordinarily from not having been sought as a partner (colloq)."

"Happy Face's" letter brought a lot of responses. A sample:

DEAR ABBY: Hello? Earth to "Happy Face"! Get up and take the initiative by asking them yourself. You will be unhappy and lonely only if you want to be. Take off the psychological sackcloth and ashes and start living again. Time's a-wasting! -- JOEL IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR JOEL: Although many mature women have been socialized to wait to be asked, you have a point. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

DEAR ABBY: I'd like you to know that at least one 20-something male does what he can whenever possible to dance with older women who are without escorts. It feels good not to worry about rejection because I might not have enough "bling" or dress expensively. I appreciate the lack of narcissism I find in pre-boomers. Unfortunately, it's a trait that's literally dying out. -- TREVOR IN OREGON

DEAR TREVOR: That you are not only a considerate guest, but also a man who knows his way around the dance floor are valuable social assets that will stand you in good stead forever. Good for you!

DEAR ABBY: Before "Happy Face" runs to the restroom for a good cry, she should look carefully around the room. If she does, she may notice people who never had, or will have, a dance partner. She may observe a mentally handicapped young man whose day she'd make by inviting him to dance. Or an elderly man who's reluctant to ask, but who might be thrilled to be asked. There might even be an awkward teen who lacks the confidence to ask because he's self-conscious about his looks or his height, and would gladly accept an invitation from a mature lady who's willing to teach him some new (or old) steps. Just taking the initiative would take her mind off herself. -- DESMOND IN OTTAWA

DEAR DESMOND: I like the way you think.

DEAR ABBY: Our Mardi Gras Krewe held its 10th anniversary presentation, and the past nine queens -– of which I was one –- were on the stage. One of us, a recent widow, is now a double amputee in a wheelchair. When it was time for our presentation dance, my husband danced briefly with me, then went to the other queen's wheelchair and waltzed her around the stage. He left us all in tears. She later told me she had dreaded the time of the dance as she'd be all alone. It made her night. -- MARRIED TO A REMARKABLE MAN IN LOUISIANA

DEAR MARRIED: He's not only remarkable, he's a gem!

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years, and ever since we came home from the honeymoon we have had an ongoing argument. When no one is home, I like to bathe with the bathroom door open because that way I can listen to television while I'm in the tub.

My husband constantly complains that his married kids might walk into the house and catch me bathing. I feel that since they don't live here, they should not walk in, and if they do, it's their problem and it probably won't happen again. Please help settle this. -- "BUBBLES" IN IDAHO

DEAR BUBBLES: If the situation were reversed, I'm sure your husband's "children" would be nonplussed if you walked into their homes without notice and caught them in the act of bathing –- or worse. They shouldn't be entering your house without first calling to see if a visit is convenient. Settle the argument by installing deadbolt locks on your front and back doors and using them when you don't want to be interrupted.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently in a grocery store and noticed that one of the other women shopping that day was a little person. It was clear that she was able to shop on her own, but she had some large items in her cart.

When we reached the check-out line, she was directly behind me. In her cart were some large cases of soda. She was able to get the cases out, but with much more effort than it would have taken me.

I wish I could have helped, but I wasn't sure how to go about it. Do little people find it offensive when a person of average height offers his or her assistance? How should I go about offering my help in the future? -- WANTS TO HELP IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR WANTS TO HELP: Little people are just like big people. Some will welcome the offer; others may not. It is never rude to smile and offer someone a helping hand. The wording doesn't have to be fancy, just "Would you like some help with that?"

P.S. However, if the answer is "no," please don't take it as a personal rejection.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old girl, and I have a little brother, "David," who is 9. David is a real pest. He goes through my bras and underwear, and walks in when I'm taking a shower or dressing. (And yes, the door is closed.) I have tried telling him –- and shouting at him -– to stop and give me some privacy, but whenever I or my parents do, he doesn't get the point. He doesn't mean any harm -– but it's quite childish, isn't it?

Please help me. I'm sure it'll help other readers my age, too. -- FED-UP SISTER, HAIFA, ISRAEL

DEAR SISTER: Your brother isn't a baby anymore and neither are you. He may mean no harm, but at 9, he's old enough to respect other people's property and privacy.

Because neither you nor your parents can make David understand that these intrusions are rude and an invasion of privacy, ask your parents to install locks on the doors of the bathroom and your bedroom. He may be just a child, but you're a big girl now.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)