DEAR ABBY: My second husband, "Les," and I married seven years ago. We each owned our own houses at the time. Whenever I was away, Les moved in his buddy, "Bruce" -- who owns a home nearby -- for the duration.
I always thought it was odd, but since it was Les' house, I never discussed it. Les and I recently sold our houses and purchased a beautiful home together. Not long after, I went to visit relatives for three days. Les moved Bruce into our home before I even left. Furthermore, from the moment Bruce arrived, they acted like I didn't exist. Neither one even said goodbye to me. They acted like lovers who couldn't wait to be rid of me.
I went on the trip feeling very hurt, and discovered when I returned that Bruce had stayed in "our" home the entire time I was gone without my having been consulted. Abby, this makes me very uneasy. Bruce lives only 15 minutes away. Is it normal for a man to have sleepovers with his buddy whenever his wife is away? -- REPLACED BEFORE THE EXIT IN N.J.
DEAR REPLACED: No, it's not. Instead of being a couple, it appears that you, Les and Bruce are a "family of three." It's time to listen to your intuition and start asking hard questions. Do not stop until you get some straight answers. There is a Web site you might find of interest: � HYPERLINK http://www.straightspouse.org ��www.straightspouse.org�. It is for the spouses of gay or bisexual individuals. If you check it out, I'm sure you'll find it enlightening.