DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are well-educated professionals. This is the second marriage for both of us. We love each other and feel blessed to have found each other.
Our sex life was wonderful for the first two years of our marriage. But we've been married for four years now, and for the last two I have had to beg him for affection. I'm lucky if it happens every other month now, and when it does it's like he's thinking, "OK, let's get this chore over with," and he merely accommodates me. I have told him how ugly, unloved and insecure this makes me feel, but nothing changes.
I always thought it was a sin to cheat on your spouse, but, Abby, I'm beginning to understand why someone would "wander." Talk doesn't help, and he refuses to see a counselor. What do I do now? -- FRUSTRATED SPOUSE
DEAR FRUSTRATED: Talking may not resolve your problem. Your husband owes you an explanation about why your sex life changed so radically two years ago. And you owe it to him -- and yourself -- to hear him out. Some sessions for you, alone, with a professional counselor might help you to gain some insight.
You love each other and consider yourselves blessed to have found each other. Taking a lover will only drive you apart, and I don't recommend it.