DEAR ABBY: I work for a small company with 22 longtime employees. I have been here for only seven years. During that time, I have worked my way up from being a receptionist to "Girl Friday" for the plant manager, spending almost half my day in the shop with the hourly workers. They are all good people -- family men who are very experienced in their jobs.

The chief engineer, an extremely smart man I'll call "Mr. Farley," goes out of his way to belittle these guys, making them feel incompetent and uneducated in the face of his intelligence. Several of them are threatening to quit, including a key member of personnel, who has been here since the business began 35 years ago. (Mr. Farley was hired less than a month before I was.)

I'm afraid to tell my boss what's going on, and it could mean the loss of several important employees. What should I do? -- GIRL FRIDAY IN PITTSBURGH

DEAR GIRL FRIDAY: For the good of the company, you owe it to your boss to tell him (or her) what's going on. Please don't wait. If you tell your employer now, it could avert a serious personnel problem. If it were my company, I would want to know so I could deal with it.

DEAR ABBY: I am interested in a very attractive man who works with me. I have known him for several years through my stepfather. Every time I am around this man I feel like a schoolgirl.

Two weeks ago, I gave him a letter telling him how I felt. I couldn't say it face-to-face because he makes me nervous, and I was afraid I'd sound like a fool. He still hasn't responded.

I asked him to keep it just between us, but at work I feel people are looking at me with knowing eyes. It also seems like he is dodging me. I asked a friend for advice. She told me he does like me, but he wants to show respect for the family. Also, he is not into monogamous relationships.

Why hasn't he called me? Shouldn't he have the decency to let me know what's going on? I am very hurt. I haven't spoken to him for two weeks, waiting for his response. Should I leave it as it is and wait for him to come around, or try to talk to him? I really like him and respect his space. What should I do? -- TORMENTED IN BROOKLYN

DEAR TORMENTED: Although I don't know your co-worker, I would guess that he hasn't called or responded to your letter because it embarrassed him. He may like you, but not in the way that you like him. Your situation is a perfect illustration of why office romances are so risky. If they don't work out, the embarrassment and tension can be disruptive.

Rather than pushing him, leave things as they are. You have already done enough. And put the idea that everyone knows out of your mind, because unless the object of your affection is a complete heel, I'm sure your secret is safe with him.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think about a 60-year-old man walking into his 20-year-old stepdaughter's room without knocking when the door is closed? This has upset my daughter so much that she has refused to stay at home when she's in town for college break.

When I tell my husband that my daughter and I think his behavior is unacceptable, he becomes angry and denies doing it. But I know for a fact that he has done it -- I have a friend who witnessed it. -- FRUSTRATED IN S.C.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: It appears that your husband has a problem with boundaries and an unhealthy interest in your daughter. Furthermore, if he "peeks" at her, it makes me wonder if she's the only young woman he's trying to get a look at. You may be married to a Peeping Tom, someone who needs professional help.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: We live in the Tampa Bay area, where two V.A. hospitals are located. Many members of the military have returned from Iraq and Afghanistan with mental and physical problems. In our community, we encounter these veterans every day.

Two weeks ago, we were in a fast-food restaurant and saw a young man on crutches with two shiny metal prosthetics on each arm below the elbow. The following week, we were walking down the street and ahead of us was another young man. This one had shiny prosthetics on both legs below the hips and was walking with a cane.

My husband and I wanted to approach and speak to these young men, but we held back. We weren't sure how they would accept a stranger's attention to them.

We, as a country, made many mistakes when our veterans returned from Vietnam. Many of these wounded young veterans will be returning to their homes and communities now and in the near future. I feel the American people need some guidance on how to handle this situation. Can you help us? -- PATRICIA AND BILL, SEMINOLE, FLA.

DEAR PATRICIA AND BILL: Put yourselves, for just a moment, in the position of the young men you have encountered. Would it not be meaningful to you if someone saw what you had sacrificed in the line of duty, and verbalized appreciation for it? Some decisions are better left to the heart than to the head -- and whether or not to reach out in a case like this is one of them. I say, go for it. It could give a deserving young person a tremendous boost.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a relationship with a guy who does not like to kiss. We act like an old married couple. He's not affectionate or romantic in any way at all. He'll hold my hand in public, but that's it. I'm wondering if it's because of depression. He loves to work, but I think it's to cover his depression.

He tells me every day that he loves me, and we never fight. We actually get along very well. Are some men just not affectionate? I would like to be, but I know he's not that type. My parents are not affectionate people, and they have been together for 38 years.

My boyfriend has told me that he knows there is something wrong with him and that he needs counseling about his behavior. We have a lot in common and see each other every day, so we are definitely serious. We laugh and click in ways other than being romantic and passionate. Is there any hope? -- STARVED FOR AFFECTION IN BIRMINGHAM

DEAR STARVED: There is hope, but only if your boyfriend is willing to get the counseling he says he needs. As it stands, your needs do not appear to be high on his list of priorities. Because it does not appear that a marriage without physical expression would be satisfying for you, it may be that you and he are destined to be the dearest of friends -- but not mates. If he truly cares as much about you as you care for him, he owes it to you to level with you.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of a husband and daughter picking out carpet for our living room while I was out of town? Not only that, they picked a color I don't like. I am very hurt and disappointed -- not to mention angry! -- DONNA IN OHIO

DEAR DONNA: I don't blame you for feeling angry. As woman of the house, the choice of carpet should have been decided between you and your husband. I wouldn't blame you if you refused to accept delivery and installation.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 19. Last year I made the biggest mistake of my life. My then-boyfriend persuaded me to marry him. We got the marriage license one day and were married the next. Nobody in my family knew about it. I really didn't want to do it, but I was having some problems at the time, and he hinted that he would never talk to me again if I didn't. We broke up in May.

He is not a U.S. citizen and has never lived here. He has since gone back to his country and hasn't returned to the states.

For the last three months, I have been seeing the most wonderful guy of my life. I'd like to get a divorce and move on, but I'm a full-time college student with no money, and my family doesn't have any money either. I found a site that was featured in the media that can help me with the divorce for little money, but my ex refuses to sign anything. I just want to get rid of him after the stuff he put me through, but I don't know where to go. -- "MARRIED" IN NEWBURGH, N.Y.

DEAR "MARRIED": Because of the circumstance of your marriage, it may not be possible to end it without the help of an attorney. Because you can't afford one, I recommend that you get a part-time job and save money for a consultation. With help, you may be able to get the marriage annulled.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Jon," and I are newlyweds. We bought and restored a house. Jon did most of the work himself. My mother-in-law, "Marjorie," who is understandably proud of her son, has taken to showing off our house -- but here's the hitch. She gives no warning beforehand; she just shows up on the front steps with people I've never met. (The first time Marjorie did it was the day Jon and I were leaving for our honeymoon.)

Abby, Marjorie parades these people into our kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, even our closets! If I ask her to please skip our office because it's a mess, she says, "Oh, just give them a look," and barges right in.

I have telephoned and asked her politely to please give me a little warning before bringing people to tour the house. Still, she shows up expecting to be let in with yet another stranger in tow.

The last time it happened, after a cue from me, Marjorie acknowledged that she knows I don't like when she does it, yet she continues. Jon is so nonconfrontational, he's no help controlling her. What can I do? -- VIOLATED AND ANGRY

DEAR VIOLATED AND ANGRY: Your mother-in-law continues to do this because your feelings are not important to her. The next time it happens, refuse to open the door to admit her.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter is marrying a man who lives in another state. The groom's parents have invited 30 members of their family to attend the wedding. They'll be paying for their own lodgings at a local hotel, as well as their airline transportation.

Are we obligated to pay for transportation from the hotel to the church and reception, and the return trip to the hotel for the groom's family? We think renting a bus to transport the group would be more economical than multiple rental cars for the evening. My question is, who should be responsible for this cost? -- FATHER OF THE BRIDE

DEAR FATHER: Providing transportation would be a gracious gesture. However, if it will create a financial hardship, consider asking the groom's parents to split the cost of renting the bus.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)