DEAR ABBY: My nephew was recently arrested. It's the fourth time I know of that he's been arrested for various things -- there may have been more.
This time, bond was set at $500. He asked his parents for the money. They refused because they hoped the time he spent in jail would teach him a lesson.
Next, he called his grandparents (my parents). He told them he was in jail because his girlfriend (with whom he has two kids, 6 years old and 8 months old) had accused him of aggravated assault. They dislike her, so they believed him.
I learned the real reason for his arrest when I called the jail. It wasn't assault; it was two counts of driving without a license, and two counts of failing to appear in court. When I approached my mother about this, she got mad at ME, and now she's not speaking to me. Was I right to let her know her grandson was trying to use her again, or do I owe her an apology? -- HEARTBROKEN IN VIRGINIA
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: There's a saying that in ancient times it was dangerous to give Caesar bad news, because it was his habit to kill the messenger. Your mother could not have been thrilled to hear what you had to say, so instead of aiming her anger where it belonged -- at her grandson -- she's taking it out on you. You don't owe your mother an apology; she owes you one.