DEAR ABBY: I am an independent VIP escort -- 48 years old, although I look 10 years younger than my age. I have grown kids who don't know what I do.

One of my clients, a married doctor, was very kind to me. He confided that he and his wife hadn't made love in 10 years and were only living parallel lives. We enjoyed each other so much we started having dinner dates. When I told him I wanted to get out of the business, he offered to help.

He leased a beautiful apartment for me not far from his office and gave me a small job I could do from home until I found work. I then saw him exclusively. We discussed marriage, and I never really looked for work, assuming that we would be together.

After four months, I convinced him to call his wife and tell her about our relationship, figuring she would be so angry she'd divorce him. Now he says he won't support me anymore and won't see me, either. They are in counseling! I want to contact him. I know he wants me because we were so good together. But I'm afraid of rejection. What should I do? -- CAST AWAY IN PATERSON, N.J.

DEAR CAST AWAY: I have a short "to-do" list for you:

1. Wake up and smell the coffee. The doctor has made his choice, and it's not you.

2. Find a legitimate job so you won't have to hide from your kids, because, Sister, you're on your own.

DEAR ABBY: All of my friends have a special pet that sticks to them like glue. I'm talking about a "waiting-at-the-door-until-they-get-home-from-school" kind of pet.

I have two dogs and two cats. Buttons and Bamboo are my two dogs, and Jasmine and Midnight are my two cats. Buttons likes my grandfather, Bamboo likes my mom, and my cats can't come inside.

I asked my parents if I could have another pet, a pet of my own that would stick only by MY side. They looked at each other and said, "OK, if you get rid of the ones you have." But I love all of them, Abby. I can't bear to give any of them away. What should I do? -- LONELY GIRL IN FORT SMITH

DEAR LONELY GIRL: Instead of getting yet another pet, it's time for you to take a more active part in the lives of the ones you already have. Make it your job to feed them. When you return from school, make some special time to take the dogs out, exercise them and play with them. Once it becomes routine, they'll look forward to their special time with you and be excited when you get home.

DEAR ABBY: I just became engaged to my boyfriend of two years. We plan to be married in October. My boyfriend and I have agreed to have an old-fashioned church wedding and, of course, a white wedding dress. But our wedding will be in October and Labor Day is in September, and I never wear white after Labor Day.

My boyfriend insists I should wear white. He says there is an exception to every rule, but I disagree, and we don't want to change our wedding date. Can you tell me what to do? -- BRIDE WITH NO DRESS IN ILLINOIS

DEAR BRIDE: Please do not be concerned about breaking a fashion rule. A white wedding dress signifies that it is the bride's first marriage. Because you have not been married before, you may wear a white bridal gown regardless of what time of year your wedding is held. The sales people at your local bridal shop will be happy to guide you in making your selection.

DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married man, raising two daughters, ages 12 and 15.

A friend I have known for 20 years, "Kevin," has become a little too friendly toward our 15-year-old, "Amanda." He has been giving Amanda money for doing nothing. The first time, he gave her $300 and told her not to tell her mother or me. Of course, our daughter told us anyway. When we confronted Kevin, he said he felt sorry for Amanda and she was supposed to baby-sit to pay back the loan, so we allowed her to keep the money to buy clothes with.

A few weeks after that, Kevin gave Amanda $200 for letting him cut her long blond hair so he could sell it on the Internet. Needless to say, her mother and I were very upset. But instead of confronting him again, we just gave Kevin the cold shoulder, hoping he'd get the message and go away.

About a month later, he snuck into our home while my wife and I were out and installed a satellite box in Amanda's room. When we discovered the box, we asked Amanda where it came from, and she said Kevin. I looked at the programming on the box. It had been rigged with free pay and pornography channels. We were very upset. We removed the box, gave it back to our ex-friend and ordered him never to come around our kids again. Do you think we did enough? We don't want to overreact. -- UNSURE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR UNSURE: One of the things pedophiles do with potential victims is something called "grooming." They befriend the young person, give him or her gifts or money, encourage the minor to keep secrets from their parents, and then the seduction begins. That's what the "free" porn channel in your daughter's bedroom was for.

You did not do nearly enough in dealing with this predator. Although you may have discouraged him from targeting Amanda, what about other young girls in your community? Please contact your local police immediately, and tell the detectives in the sex crimes division what you have written to me. I give you my word, they won't think you are overreacting.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter came home from school the other day with bruises on her body. When I asked her how she got them, she told me a little boy beat her up at recess. I went to the school to talk with her teacher, but nothing was done, and my daughter came home with another bruise yesterday. What should I do? -- WORRIED MOM IN THOMASVILLE, GA.

DEAR WORRIED: Your child has a right to get an education, free from bullying or harassment. Since talking to the teacher didn't help, here's the drill: Take your complaint to the principal of the school. If that doesn't stop the problem, go to the school board. If they fail to act, consult a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: I just found out that I'm pregnant, and I'm thrilled. I'm being married in September -- and that's the problem. At the time my wedding is scheduled, I'll be nine months' pregnant.

The day we're being married has special significance to my fiance. I don't know how to tell him I don't want to waddle down the aisle. I have told him about the baby, but I don't know how to bring up changing the date of the wedding. I don't want to ruin it for him -- but I don't know if I can handle a formal wedding when I'm about to pop.

Am I being selfish, or would it be a good idea to ask him to change the date? -- SCARED IN OREGON

DEAR SCARED: For heaven's sake, speak up. To do so is not selfish; it's practical. Ask your fiance to count to nine, and remember that babies don't always arrive exactly on time -- sometimes they decide to come early. When you're standing at the altar exchanging your vows, you should not have to worry about your water breaking.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My mother died last year. My 93-year-old father now lives with my sister "Lila" in her apartment back east. I have four brothers and another sister who reside in the same state.

I live in Arizona. Although I'd love for Dad to live here with me, he doesn't want to put such a great distance between himself and the rest of the family.

Dad gets $3,000 a month from Social Security. Since Lila doesn't work, she decided that she should be the one to take care of our father. All of us agreed that she should take Dad's Social Security check and use it for his care. Dad also has about $400,000 put away that is to be split among his children when he passes away.

Recently, Lila took $21,000 of our father's money, claiming it was a "gift" so she can purchase a co-op. (Dad would buy it; her name would be on the deed.) Someone, I'm not sure who, called Dad's lawyer and reported the withdrawal. The lawyer met with Lila and my brother "Hersch," who has our father's power of attorney. The lawyer told Lila she can either pay back the $21,000 or it'll be deducted from her inheritance. The lawyer then put Dad's money into a trust fund so it cannot be touched.

Now that she can't have the money as a gift, Lila is very angry and refuses to let anyone speak to Daddy on the phone. We are pretty certain that Lila never informed our father about the withdrawal -- she was trying to steal it. I think she is afraid we might say something about what happened.

Besides retaliating against us, it is also punishing Dad. Because I live across the country, the phone is my only means of communication with him. I'm at my wit's end. Lila has never gotten along with us siblings, and it has always been like pulling teeth to get her to let me speak to my father. Now she's severing the lines completely. Is there anything I can do? -- HELP! IN ARIZONA

DEAR HELP!: There sure is. Pick up the phone and discuss this with your siblings and your father's lawyer. Your sister is attempting to isolate your father, and there is no guarantee that his Social Security check is being spent for his benefit.

If your brothers and sisters do not live close enough to check regularly on Dad's welfare, it may be necessary to hire a social worker or care manager, or move him to an assisted-living facility. Please don't wait. Do it now.

DEAR ABBY: I am in seventh grade and I have a problem. Everyone refers to me as "Roy's" little sister. Roy is good at sports and is popular. I am not -- so no one remembers my name.

I want to be called by my name, but my brother's friends always seem to forget it. I hang out with Roy a lot, and I don't want to be called that anymore -- but I don't know how to say it. Any suggestions? -- INVISIBLE IN GREENFIELD, IND.

DEAR INVISIBLE: Ask your brother to help by reminding his friends that you have a name when they refer to you as his little sister. If it happens in front of you, speak up and say, "My name is ( )." It may take some time, but eventually they'll catch on. In fact, once you're a little older, I guarantee it.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)