DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married man, raising two daughters, ages 12 and 15.

A friend I have known for 20 years, "Kevin," has become a little too friendly toward our 15-year-old, "Amanda." He has been giving Amanda money for doing nothing. The first time, he gave her $300 and told her not to tell her mother or me. Of course, our daughter told us anyway. When we confronted Kevin, he said he felt sorry for Amanda and she was supposed to baby-sit to pay back the loan, so we allowed her to keep the money to buy clothes with.

A few weeks after that, Kevin gave Amanda $200 for letting him cut her long blond hair so he could sell it on the Internet. Needless to say, her mother and I were very upset. But instead of confronting him again, we just gave Kevin the cold shoulder, hoping he'd get the message and go away.

About a month later, he snuck into our home while my wife and I were out and installed a satellite box in Amanda's room. When we discovered the box, we asked Amanda where it came from, and she said Kevin. I looked at the programming on the box. It had been rigged with free pay and pornography channels. We were very upset. We removed the box, gave it back to our ex-friend and ordered him never to come around our kids again. Do you think we did enough? We don't want to overreact. -- UNSURE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR UNSURE: One of the things pedophiles do with potential victims is something called "grooming." They befriend the young person, give him or her gifts or money, encourage the minor to keep secrets from their parents, and then the seduction begins. That's what the "free" porn channel in your daughter's bedroom was for.

You did not do nearly enough in dealing with this predator. Although you may have discouraged him from targeting Amanda, what about other young girls in your community? Please contact your local police immediately, and tell the detectives in the sex crimes division what you have written to me. I give you my word, they won't think you are overreacting.

DEAR ABBY: I just found out that I'm pregnant, and I'm thrilled. I'm being married in September -- and that's the problem. At the time my wedding is scheduled, I'll be nine months' pregnant.

The day we're being married has special significance to my fiance. I don't know how to tell him I don't want to waddle down the aisle. I have told him about the baby, but I don't know how to bring up changing the date of the wedding. I don't want to ruin it for him -- but I don't know if I can handle a formal wedding when I'm about to pop.

Am I being selfish, or would it be a good idea to ask him to change the date? -- SCARED IN OREGON

DEAR SCARED: For heaven's sake, speak up. To do so is not selfish; it's practical. Ask your fiance to count to nine, and remember that babies don't always arrive exactly on time -- sometimes they decide to come early. When you're standing at the altar exchanging your vows, you should not have to worry about your water breaking.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My mother died last year. My 93-year-old father now lives with my sister "Lila" in her apartment back east. I have four brothers and another sister who reside in the same state.

I live in Arizona. Although I'd love for Dad to live here with me, he doesn't want to put such a great distance between himself and the rest of the family.

Dad gets $3,000 a month from Social Security. Since Lila doesn't work, she decided that she should be the one to take care of our father. All of us agreed that she should take Dad's Social Security check and use it for his care. Dad also has about $400,000 put away that is to be split among his children when he passes away.

Recently, Lila took $21,000 of our father's money, claiming it was a "gift" so she can purchase a co-op. (Dad would buy it; her name would be on the deed.) Someone, I'm not sure who, called Dad's lawyer and reported the withdrawal. The lawyer met with Lila and my brother "Hersch," who has our father's power of attorney. The lawyer told Lila she can either pay back the $21,000 or it'll be deducted from her inheritance. The lawyer then put Dad's money into a trust fund so it cannot be touched.

Now that she can't have the money as a gift, Lila is very angry and refuses to let anyone speak to Daddy on the phone. We are pretty certain that Lila never informed our father about the withdrawal -- she was trying to steal it. I think she is afraid we might say something about what happened.

Besides retaliating against us, it is also punishing Dad. Because I live across the country, the phone is my only means of communication with him. I'm at my wit's end. Lila has never gotten along with us siblings, and it has always been like pulling teeth to get her to let me speak to my father. Now she's severing the lines completely. Is there anything I can do? -- HELP! IN ARIZONA

DEAR HELP!: There sure is. Pick up the phone and discuss this with your siblings and your father's lawyer. Your sister is attempting to isolate your father, and there is no guarantee that his Social Security check is being spent for his benefit.

If your brothers and sisters do not live close enough to check regularly on Dad's welfare, it may be necessary to hire a social worker or care manager, or move him to an assisted-living facility. Please don't wait. Do it now.

DEAR ABBY: I am in seventh grade and I have a problem. Everyone refers to me as "Roy's" little sister. Roy is good at sports and is popular. I am not -- so no one remembers my name.

I want to be called by my name, but my brother's friends always seem to forget it. I hang out with Roy a lot, and I don't want to be called that anymore -- but I don't know how to say it. Any suggestions? -- INVISIBLE IN GREENFIELD, IND.

DEAR INVISIBLE: Ask your brother to help by reminding his friends that you have a name when they refer to you as his little sister. If it happens in front of you, speak up and say, "My name is ( )." It may take some time, but eventually they'll catch on. In fact, once you're a little older, I guarantee it.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: The recent news of a possible new strain of HIV that is drug-resistant to three of the four classes of anti-HIV drugs and may progress to AIDS in months rather than years, should provide a wake-up call to those who are not practicing safer sex and/or are still sharing needles and syringes.

Time after time, I hear young people say they're not worried about being exposed to HIV/AIDS because, should they get infected, they can take the appropriate medicine and they'll be fine. Unfortunately, they could be dead wrong. If they become infected, the medicines they will have to take can cause serious side effects and must be taken for the rest of their lives. Also, not all people benefit from the medications, especially those who are unfortunate enough to be infected with a strain of virus that's already resistant to one or more classes of drugs.

Abby, people need to understand that HIV is not spread through the air, or from shaking hands or hugging someone who has the virus. If you have unprotected sex or share needles and syringes you could become infected. If you don't, you won't.

It's up to all of us to protect ourselves and our partners. -- MERVYN R. SILVERMAN, M.D., FORMER PRESIDENT, AMERICAN FOUNDATION FOR AIDS RESEARCH

DEAR DR. SILVERMAN: I agree that it's critically important for folks to protect themselves and their loved ones from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). In order to do that, they must act responsibly. By that, I mean they must refrain from unprotected sex unless both parties have been screened for HIV and are negative, and, of course, remain strictly monogamous.

I am appalled that there has actually been "debate" about whether the public should have been warned so quickly about what appears to be a new, more virulent strain of HIV that is drug-resistant. I hope the announcement will remind everyone about a subject that seems to have been forgotten in the last decade. For their own safety, sexually active people must keep their wits about them and always use condoms. And for those who say condoms aren't 100 percent effective, when properly used they are EXTREMELY effective in preventing STDs, especially HIV. Not using them is playing Russian roulette.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and a sophomore in high school. I have been struggling with my weight for two years. I have tried Weight Watchers and other weight-loss programs, and I try not to eat between meals or consume a lot of junk food -- but I just can't stop.

My parents keep pressuring me to lose 40 pounds. Even my friends say I should lose weight. They say if I do, my crush would notice me more. Can you give me any tips for losing weight? -- CHUBBY IN CLEVELAND

DEAR CHUBBY: Everything has a price. If you want to lose weight, the price you'll have to pay is abstaining from high-carb, high-fat, empty-calorie food for a while. If you get hungry between meals, have something to eat, but make it fresh fruit or veggies and an ounce of low-fat protein.

Losing weight is like banking: If you eat more calories than you "spend," you'll have fat in your "savings account." If you spend more calories than you save, you'll gradually become lean and mean. So exercise every day, and go back to Weight Watchers. I have seen miracles occur on that program, and there is no reason why it can't work for you, too.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)