DEAR ABBY: In a recent column, writers expressed concerns about early hearing screening for newborns and young children. Your readers should know that Early Hearing Detection and Intervention (known as the EHDI program) is a nationwide priority supported by several federal agencies, state governments, and most hospitals that offer obstetrics/delivery services.

We at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are proud to be a part of this effort. We have long advocated screening to detect hearing loss. Early intervention gives children the best possible start in life.

Most states and territories have EHDI programs that support efforts to detect hearing loss in babies early. The foundation of the EHDI program is the 1-3-6 Plan, whose goals ensure that:

-- Babies are screened for hearing loss before 1 month of age (ideally before the baby leaves the hospital).

-- Babies are referred for diagnostic hearing and medical evaluation before 3 months of age (if they do not pass the first screening or a re-screening).

-- Babies are enrolled in intervention services before 6 months of age if a hearing loss is identified.

The importance of early intervention cannot be overstated. Early detection and intervention help very young children develop vital communication skills that will last a lifetime, and maximize their potential for positive growth. -- JOSE F. CORDERO, M.D., DIRECTOR, NATIONAL CENTER ON BIRTH DEFECTS AND DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES

DEAR DR. CORDERO: Your letter will be of interest to parents-to-be, so thank you for taking the time to write. Readers, for more information on EHDI or how to contact your state or territorial EHDI program, visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Web site: www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/ehdi.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Jeremy" for four years. I thought we had a wonderful marriage. A few months ago, I had his cell phone records pulled because I suspected Jeremy was being deceitful about the people who were paging him. I was shocked to discover that he had been in constant contact with the girl he had dated before me, and also another woman who is also married. Then I found out he had been out to dinner with both of them without my knowledge.

Jeremy swore to me that he would no longer have contact with either of them and said our marriage was more important than his "friendships." Because I no longer trusted him, I had his phone records pulled again; nothing has changed. He says he remains in contact with them just to be nice.

Abby, I am not a jealous spouse. Jeremy has many female friends who call the house, and it doesn't upset me because they speak to me as well. I feel so betrayed. Why would my husband destroy our marriage and constantly lie if he has no feelings for these other women? -- HURTING IN NEW ORLEANS

DEAR HURTING: You're asking the wrong person. Only your husband can answer that question. A marriage without trust is no marriage at all, and it's important that you find out why he would jeopardize his relationship with you in order to maintain those friendships. Counseling for the two of you might be helpful -- but only if he's willing to work on this issue. You have my sympathy.

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DEAR ABBY: I have a 22-year-old daughter who insists on wearing low-rise jeans. I have seen half her rear end at least five times, and I'm embarrassed for her. I have had to tell her every time. When I do, she acts mad at me for saying something. Last October, she squatted down to look in a box at a yard sale, and the poor elderly gentleman who was trying to assist her had quite a view. It was awful! I wish I had a camera so I could take a picture and blow it up to an 8-by-10 so she could see what everyone else is seeing. Believe me, this is no laughing matter.

This couldn't be the style -- to show off so much skin -- is it? Please, Abby, print this. Maybe my daughter will see your response. She says she doesn't care. How can that be? Where did I do wrong in rearing this one? -- BUMMED-OUT MOTHER, BRIGHTWOOD, VA.

DEAR MOTHER: You didn't go wrong; your daughter is a willing slave to fashion. It seems every generation has its own erogenous zone on display. Remember the lyric, "In olden days, a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking. Now Heaven knows, anything goes!" In the '60s it was the thigh. In the '90s it was exposed navels adorned with gold rings. Today the fashion industry appears to have turned us into a nation of "crack addicts." The trend will end only when God grants us the gift to see ourselves as others see us -- in other words, "hindsight."

DEAR ABBY: I have just had an upsetting experience. I walked into my local public library this morning to find a man angrily confronting one of the librarians. I don't eavesdrop, but there was no way to miss what he was saying because he was shouting.

Apparently, when it was his turn to be helped, he was on his cell phone and refused to hang up. She informed him that she would help the next person in line, and then help him when he had finished his conversation. Part of his problem, according to him, was that he was so involved with his cell phone call that he hadn't heard what the librarian said!

I don't feel that was the librarian's fault. I don't see why she and the other people in line should have been expected to wait for him to finish his call, and I certainly don't understand why he felt entitled to intimidate this woman. His anger upset me, and I wasn't even involved, so I can only imagine how she must have felt. She was visibly shaking after he left.

Isn't it time for some rules of conduct for cell phone use? -- COURTESY, PLEASE, IN SPRINGFIELD, MO.

DEAR C.P.: It should not be necessary to have written rules of conduct for cell phone users. Common sense and basic good manners should apply. The librarian was within her rights to take the next person in line if the one in front of her was preoccupied. And if the man was belligerent and intimidating, she was also within her rights to have a security guard escort him out.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating this great-looking girl, "Marcy," for some time now. I'm completely attracted to her, except for one small thing. She has really bad shoulder acne.

We have discussed the issue, but we can't seem to determine the cause. Any suggestions? -- FRETTIN' IN FRESNO

DEAR FRETTIN': Absolutely. Marcy can resolve her problem by consulting a doctor who specializes in skin problems -- a dermatologist. Please encourage her to consult one.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend I'll call "Tara." A few months ago, Tara gave me a puppy. She said it was for no reason other than "because we're such good friends," and she knew I had been thinking about getting one.

I told Tara that I wanted to get her a present, but she refused, saying she would not accept any of my charity. I let it go.

My birthday and Tara's are on the same day. That's how we became friends. I bought Tara a present. She did not give me one, although we usually exchange gifts. Instead, she demanded that I give her a laptop computer and several DVDs or give her back the dog!

Abby, I was astounded. I was even more astounded when Tara claimed she "knew" I had been into drugs and was a department store thief. She said if I didn't give her what she asked, she would tell my mother and the police.

I have never been into drugs. I don't steal. Should I give her what she wants? I don't want to go to jail. -- ASTOUNDED IN LOS ANGELES

DEAR ASTOUNDED: Do not return the puppy, and do not give in to her demands. However, DO cross Tara off your list of friends. Once a gift is given, it belongs to the recipient. There are names for what this manipulative "friend" is attempting to do; the terms extortion and blackmail would apply. It's important you tell your mother what's going on immediately. Then inform Tara that the friendship is over and there are severe penalties for filing a false police report.

DEAR ABBY: My brother committed suicide four years ago. He had two children who are now in the fourth and sixth grades. Their mother has never told them the circumstances of their father's death.

When is it appropriate to tell children that a parent's death was due to suicide? Everyone who knew my brother knows how he died. I'm afraid someone will slip up and say something in front of them. I think it would be better if they heard it from their mother sooner rather than from a stranger years from now. What do you think? -- CONCERNED AUNT

DEAR CONCERNED: What makes you think the children have no idea of the circumstances surrounding their father's death? Little pitchers have big ears, and there was bound to be conversation about it when it happened. Even if an effort was made to protect the little ones, children are not stupid, nor do they operate in a vacuum. If conversation comes to a screeching halt when they enter a room, they know something is wrong.

They may not have talked to their mother about it because they're afraid they'll make her sad if they do. By all means, the mother should bring up the subject with them -- if only to ask them what they know about their father's death.

DEAR ABBY: I feel guilty about something and don't know if it is justified. A co-worker was recently fired. We had worked together on a daily basis, but were not especially close. I knew about the firing two weeks before it happened.

Another co-worker told me I should have warned him to help "soften the blow." I was afraid to say anything because I am in a senior management position. What's your opinion? -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN KENTUCKY

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: Had you leaked the news you would have betrayed a confidence, and it would have created tension in the office. If word of the impending termination had reached the employee, it could have resulted in retaliation against your employers. You did the right thing by remaining silent.

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