DEAR READERS: Because today is Valentine's Day, I thought you might enjoy reading some of the 5 million messages of love and support sent to our men and women in the military during the Christmas holidays via OperationDearAbby.net. Those "love letters" warmed my heart, as I know they will yours as well. Read on:

FROM RHONNIE IN TEXAS: "I know things must be hard for you, being far from home and missing the friends and family you depend on for comfort. I know that when you signed on, you knew you could end up in an unfriendly place and would be gone for long periods of time. You knew this, yet you did it anyway. That selfless act says much of your character, your strength and your courage.

"You're probably homesick, as are your family and friends for you. You are loved and appreciated by more than only your friends and family. You have a strong nation behind you that wishes you home soon, whether you be in the heat of the desert or the cold and snow. Be safe, and thank you."

FROM SHARON IN SANFORD, MICH.: "Thank you for your service to our country. I pray that everywhere you go, and in everything you confront, that you will be given a special wisdom. It is my heart's desire that truth and freedom be strengthened, and flourish, and all error manifested and dissolved."

FROM ROBYN G., THE WOODLANDS, TEXAS: "Thank you for all of your sacrifices and hardships. I want everyone over there fighting the good fight to know that America is thankful, even if we don't write all the time or send packages. We are here for you and will be here for you when you come home. :) Love and prayers."

FROM LOUISE IN LEWISVILLE, OHIO: "You may find it hard to understand that someone you don't even know is thinking about you. I am a mother of three and was an Army wife. You all are near and dear to my heart. Know that someone is praying that you come home safe and sound, that someone needs you to know you are not forgotten. Finish your job, make the world a better place and come home soon."

FROM BECKY IN EDWARDSVILLE, ILL.: "Thank you for volunteering, and thank you for hanging in there during the tough times. There's no doubt we have the best sailors, soldiers, airmen, Marines and National Guard in the world, and you make us very proud. I'll continue to pray for your safety and hope you soon have a happy voyage home."

FROM ASHLEY IN MERRITT ISLAND, FLA.: "Find strength in the small things, laugh every chance you get, and know that you're missed and we pray every day for your safe return. Never-ending courage deserves never-ending gratitude. Thank you so much for all your sacrifices."

FROM "MIKEY" IN PAYSON, ARIZ.: "Thank you a million times for the job you are doing in that distant location. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am a senior citizen and understand why you are there. And although some in this country disagree with why you are there, we all agree that you should come home soon. Nevertheless, while you are there, we recognize that you are fighting the good fight, and hope your service ends soon. 'Thank you' seems an inadequate phrase for what should be said for your brave service. We all love you and hope you are reunited with your family as soon as possible."

READERS: I know many of you have plans for tonight that include candlelight and flowers. This is a time when our members of the military deployed far from home acutely feel the absence of their loved ones. So, please, go to OperationDearAbby.net and send a message telling them they are in our hearts. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Lance," attends the Naval Academy in Annapolis. We have been dating seriously for a long time and have made plans to start our life together when he graduates and heads off to flight school. I intended to leave my job, my family and friends to be with him.

Recently, out of the clear blue sky, Lance told me he has second thoughts about our plans. He said his doubts stem from his concern for my best interests. He feels it would be too difficult for me to continually move over the years, and he would feel guilty asking me to sacrifice so much for him.

I was caught completely off guard. I told Lance that, because I love him so much, I want to give this new life a chance. We talked for hours, and he decided that although he loves me very much, his life belongs to the Navy, and no one but he should make sacrifices.

Should I try to mend this relationship or let him go? -- STILL IN LOVE IN MARYLAND

DEAR STILL: It's apparent that Lance gave the matter considerable thought before he discussed his change of heart with you. "Mending fences" won't work because his mind is already made up. Speaking metaphorically, the ship has sailed, and you have been left behind. As I see it, you have no choice but to let him go. Make the break a clean one and move on.

DEAR ABBY: My wife's brother, "George," lives with us. It was my wife's suggestion because he was homeless, and she didn't want him on the streets in the cold weather. She said she wanted him to stay with us for a few months. That was more than three years ago.

I am fed up with this. George doesn't work, so he's no help with the bills. He brings women here like it's his house. He smokes dope here and gets drunk on beer. I don't do any of those things. He won't even mow the lawn in the summer.

I have told my wife that George is a 50-year-old man and has got to move elsewhere. She agrees, but says nothing to him. It has led to some serious arguments. I recently left something out in our bedroom to see if it would disappear, and yes, it did. I knew it would. I am ready to leave my own home. What should I do now? -- TIRED OF MY BROTHER-IN-LAW IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR TIRED: You have done more than enough for your brother-in-law. The time has come for George to sober up, grow up, and take responsibility for himself. Since your wife can't bring herself to tell her brother he must go, it's up to you. Your marriage depends on it. Set a date for him to leave and insist upon it. In the meantime, make sure your valuables are under lock and key.

DEAR ABBY: Five months ago, I became involved with a gentleman whom I met at church. He is kind and caring –- everything that a girl could look for. We are compatible and get along quite well in more ways than one.

The problem is he is living with someone else, and his job takes up much of his time. When we're together the time goes by so quickly -– and then I hear nothing for days on end. He tells me that he cares for me, and I care about him, but I'm confused. Should I bide my time in the hope that things will improve? Or should I turn tail and run? -- CONFLICTED ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR CONFLICTED: Face it: Your kind, caring, compatible, churchgoing guy already has a hen sitting in his nest. Unless you want to end up with egg on your face, run like the dickens. He's already taken.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 40 years old and have a close friend whom I have known since elementary school. She has been married for many years and has a beautiful home and family.

Abby, my friend is addicted to painkillers. She will cut herself or burn herself just so she can go to the ER to get pills. She goes to different hospitals and urgent care centers each time.

I have an ongoing medical condition, and she has begged me for my pills (which I need), offered to buy them from me and become irate when I refused. She has even told me that she offers to pay for other people's prescriptions if they'll give her half their pills.

This is putting a damper on our friendship, and I'm not sure what to do. Your thoughts, please. -- WORRIED IN WICHITA

DEAR WORRIED: Your friend is a prescription drug addict. She will need professional help to kick that habit, and possibly a support group thereafter. The kindest thing you could do for her is to tell her husband what you have told me, so he can alert her doctor and find help for her.

DEAR ABBY: My 10-year-old son, "Fritz," is lying to me. He is given 25 cents every school day for milk at lunch. Lately, I have been finding this money in his pocket when I do laundry. When I asked my son about it, Fritz looked me straight in the eye and told me the price of milk went up to 35 cents last September. I know for a fact this is not true.

My husband, "Frank," thinks this is no big deal, but for me the fact that Fritz is looking me in the eye and lying to me is very serious. If he's lying about this small issue at 10, what will he be doing in five years? How can I ever be sure he's telling the truth?

There are many other issues involving our children where Frank refuses to back me up. I'm ready to throw in the towel and leave him to deal with it all. I'm exhausted and can't fight it anymore. I'm afraid to even suggest family therapy. Frank would never be physically abusive, but I'm afraid that he would just shut down emotionally. The only thing we have going for us is that he's a great dad. Take that away, and I'm afraid we will fall apart completely. -- WORN OUT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WORN OUT: Under no circumstances must you tolerate your son lying to you. Tell him you are going to check on his story, and if it turns out to be untrue, you will be forced to punish him. Give him a chance to own up. If he comes clean -- could it be he doesn't like milk? -- do not punish him. If he continues to lie, then you must take away enough of his privileges that he will forevermore remember the penalty for lying.

P.S. Please wake up to the fact that "great dads" do not turn a blind eye when their children lie or misbehave. Nor do they fail to back their spouse when it comes to discipline, hoping to make themselves look good at the other's expense. If all that's holding your marriage together is the illusion that your husband is a great dad, you two are in serious trouble. However, until you are both willing to work on it, nothing will change. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I am a Caucasian woman married to a Filipino man. We have a 9-month-old daughter. The problem is that strangers come up to me and ask if my daughter is adopted. I find this extremely offensive. What can I say to these people? -- TEACHING TOLERANCE IN TAMPA

DEAR TEACHING TOLERANCE: Just say no -– and keep walking.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)