DEAR ABBY: In 1964, I read a column of your mother's that hit home with me. It was about a man leaving his wife, a lady, for a tramp. I was enduring a similar situation at that time, and my mother cut the column out and gave it to me to comfort me. The clipping, now fragile and yellowed with age, was a contributing factor in my healing.

Now I'd like to do the same for others who are experiencing my pain. There appears to be an epidemic of spousal infidelity here.

It would help them if you would reprint that article. Curiosity prompts me to inquire whether professionals were consulted regarding that inspired response. Would you please consider printing it again? -- LONGTIME READER IN NEW YORK

DEAR LONGTIME READER: No professional was consulted; my mother was a woman of great insight. The letter first appeared in 1964. It is one of my favorites, and I'm pleased to reprint it. Read on:

"DEAR ABBY: Why will a married man pick up a tramp and treat her like a lady, then turn around and treat his wife (who is a lady) like a tramp? -- MINNIE

"DEAR MINNIE: A man picks up a tramp because he wants a female companion who is no better than he is. In her company, he doesn't feel inferior. He rewards her by treating her like a lady.

"He treats his wife (who is a lady) like a tramp because he feels that by degrading her, he will bring her down to his level. This makes him feel guilty, so to get even with his wife for making him feel guilty, he keeps right on punishing her."

Years later, a reader asked, "What is the difference between a lady and a tramp?" Mother was stumped, so she asked the readers for their input. Their answers were enlightening -- and reviewing them is like looking into a time capsule.

"The difference between a lady and tramp? About three drinks." -- TENDS BAR IN MILWAUKEE

"A lady goes out, goes home and goes to bed. A tramp goes out, goes to bed, then goes home." -- MURPH

"There's no difference. Kipling said, 'The Colonel's lady and Judy O'Grady are sisters under their skin.'" -- F.C.H. IN TEXARKANA

"The difference between a lady and a tramp is men with big mouths." -- MET A FEW

"A lady draws a line. The tramp falls for it." -- ROBERT BYRNE

"A lady is chaste. A tramp is chased." -- ROBERT FROM SAN DIEGO

"There are no tramps. Only lonely ladies." -- MARGIE FROM MANSFIELD

"A lady lies around and sleeps. A tramp sleeps around and lies." -- J.S. IN ASHLAND, ORE.

"You pay a tramp in advance -- but a lady costs more in the long run." -- WESTPORT PETE

"A lady is the female you're living with right now. A tramp is the one you used to live with." -- CHICAGOAN

"A lady lives for a loving. A tramp loves for a living." -- CHUCK IN FAWN GROVE, PA.

"A 'lady' is the woman my father left. A 'tramp' is the woman he left her for." -- STILL MAD AFTER 14 YEARS

"The difference between a lady and a tramp is discretion. I should know. I've been both." -- RICH AND FAMOUS

"There is no difference. Both are the children of God." -- KENNETH A. FRITCHMAN, HELLAM, PA.

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DEAR ABBY: Heartsick is the only way I can describe how I feel right now. Something very precious to me, an antique doll, has disappeared from its storage place in my bedroom and has been replaced by a similar doll that I have never seen before. The only person besides my husband who knew of its existence was my cousin "Lana." Lana and her husband have been weekend houseguests in our home for several years. A few weeks ago, we let them use our bedroom and we took the guest room.

The other day I went to the chest where I kept the doll, intending to have it appraised, and found something else in its place. I have no solid proof that Lana took it, but the circumstances and family history all point in that direction. You see, the doll was a family heirloom given to me by my aunt 15 years ago.

As far as I'm concerned, the relationship between my cousin and me has been seriously affected. What should be my next step? -- HEARTSICK IN N.C.

DEAR HEARTSICK: Call Cousin Lana and tell her what you have told me. Perhaps she was upset that the heirloom doll wasn't given to her, or assumed that you wouldn't know the difference if another doll was substituted. Ask her to please return the original.

If she is unwilling to cooperate, you could report the theft to the police and fill out a stolen property report. However, you should be aware that, unless the doll is valuable, petty thefts are not a high priority for police departments.

DEAR ABBY: How do you get someone's name off junk mail lists when that person has died? My sister passed away last May. I had all of her mail forwarded to my house. I specifically contacted all the bill collectors and her friends and gave them my address, but her junk mail has found its way to me. Many of the catalogs and charities used the address correction service, thinking my sister had moved to my address, and now they send their stuff to me. The rest of the mail comes forwarded by the post office.

How can I make it stop? I don't want this stuff. The Direct Mail Marketing organization says that this request cannot be made by a second party. -- HAD ENOUGH IN CITRUS HEIGHTS

DEAR HAD ENOUGH: With a black marking pen, cross out the bar code on the envelopes and write "Deceased; Return to Sender." Then put the items back in your mailbox. Eventually the senders will get the message and the unwanted mail will stop. Also, if you call the 800 numbers for the catalogs and explain the situation, most will cooperate and remove your sister's name and your address from their lists.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of a very intelligent 15 1/2-year-old girl, a straight-A student, who asks her noncustodial father to kill her mother's boyfriend –- which the father, of course, will not do?

This girl is not a gang member or on drugs. How do you justify this kind of thinking in a teenage girl, and how do you reconcile the fact that she claims to love her father while asking him to kill somebody for her? -- CONCERNED IN NEVADA

DEAR CONCERNED: Either the girl has serious emotional problems, or she's having serious problems with her mother's boyfriend. I would not question the girl's love for her father, but I would urge him to intervene and see that his daughter receives the help she obviously needs, including assuring that she's out of reach of the boyfriend. She could have been emotionally abused or molested by him.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Lisa," is 18 and a freshman in college, has a part-time job in a local clothing store where she receives a 15 percent employee discount. I work in a beauty salon nearby, which allows me to see Lisa during her frequent visits to the shop.

One of my co-workers, "Francine," has on numerous occasions cornered my daughter and asked her to buy things for her, using her employee benefit. This is strictly against store policy. When Francine asks me if Lisa is working on any given day, I ask her why, and she answers, "She's supposed to let me know when 'whatever' goes on sale." It's not the truth.

If I confront Francine, it will cause tension, which will result in Lisa's visits being less frequent. With our busy schedules, it's the only time I get to see her some days. Is this something I should stay out of, or should I play "rescue mom" and get it over with? This has been going on for a few months now, and enough already! It's tacky and rude. Francine is a co-worker, not a friend. How should this be handled? -- FURIOUS IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR FURIOUS: Your daughter should not be risking her job so that Francine can get a good deal. I knew a personable and kind-hearted young man who was fired for doing what your daughter has been doing.

Have a talk with Lisa, and tell her that the next time Francine approaches her, she should tell the woman that she cannot do it because it's against store policy, and she doesn't want to lose her job. It's the truth, and she shouldn't feel guilty for saying it. She's being taken advantage of. If Lisa is afraid to speak up, do it for her.

DEAR ABBY: I made the mistake of putting out a candy dish at work for clients who might stop in. One of my co-workers consistently takes candy –- usually more than all the clients combined –- and she's not even supposed to be eating sugar!

Recently, my fiance and I decided to start saving for a house. We are on a tight budget, so I stopped putting out candy. My co-worker continually asks where her "treats" are. I have told her we're trying to save for a house, and her reply was, "Oh, you poor baby. You should put out a collection jar for donations." I don't feel I should ask clients for donations, especially since she's the one taking all the candy. Please advise me how to respond politely to her. I am out of ideas. -- CONFIDENTIAL IN MARYLAND

DEAR CONFIDENTIAL: The next time your co-worker asks where her treats are, smile sweetly and tell her, "The concession is closed."

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)