DEAR ABBY: I met "Evan," the man of my dreams, when I was 18. He was 21. We had been dating only five months when he was diagnosed with leukemia. I stayed by his side the whole time, although my friends said no one would blame me if I didn't. Evan is now finished with chemotherapy and is in remission.
I was there for him when his parents couldn't be. I gave him everything I had. I even dropped out of school so I could work full time to make ends meet. Since Evan has finished his treatment, we've been trying to piece our life back together, but he has been horribly depressed.
I have tried to help. I found a psychologist for him. He agreed to go, then canceled the appointment. He re-enrolled in school this semester. However, I found out last night that he had stopped going to class a long time ago. He said it reminded him too much of how things used to be. He lied to me -- and not for the first time.
To make matters worse, I had to tell his parents, because they had been paying for school and sending us money to help with the bills. He had refused to call them. Abby, I love Evan with all my heart. His parents are offering to get him help. I'm torn between staying and leaving to rebuild my life. If he gets help for real, is it worth trying to save our relationship? -- EXHAUSTED AND BROKENHEARTED IN K.C.
DEAR EXHAUSTED: You supported Evan when he could not help himself. Only he can fix his problems now. The longer you allow the status quo, the longer he will postpone taking responsibility.
If he continues to procrastinate, then recognize that it's time to leave and put your own life on track. Do not feel guilty for doing so. Unless Evan accepts that he needs professional help -- and gets it -- he will drag you down with him. Trust me, you have done all you can.