DEAR ABBY: "Divorced but Still in Love" asked if it was possible for a couple who had been divorced to make a go of marriage the second time around. You replied that it is possible, if the couple is willing (with the help of a marriage counselor) to confront the issues that broke them up the first time.
The same thing happened to me and my husband, "John." We were married at 18 and had a child at 21. We were both immature, too young to be married. After our divorce, we still spent time together as a family.
Two years later, I met and married "George." George and I had a child together, but he was not a good husband or father. Several months after I divorced George, John and I rekindled our relationship. We have been together for almost five years, married for 3 1/2 years and are blissfully happy together. John is a wonderful father to both boys and doesn't play favorites. I know it can work the second time around; our marriage is proof of it. -- OLDER AND WISER, TABOR CITY, N.C.
DEAR OLDER AND WISER: Congratulations to you both. Sometimes people fail to appreciate the value of what they have until it's gone. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were married at 19. In first grade, I would kick him in the shins and then run like the dickens because I "liked" him. My first kiss was from him on my 16th birthday. After four years of separating and getting back together, he said enough is enough and filed for divorce.
Almost a year to the day our divorce was final, we remarried and have not been sorry. (We had continued to see each other and I became pregnant.)
While I don't recommend having a relationship like ours, we have been happy with our decision. Counseling would have been a great help, but we were too stubborn to get it even after we remarried. Long story short, we have been through a lot over the years -- even almost divorcing again -- but we're more in love than ever. With love and faith, we seem to get through it. -- STILL IN LOVE, WHITTIER, CALIF.
DEAR STILL IN LOVE: I'm pleased things are working out for the two of you -- but the next time you hit a rough patch, please reconsider counseling. It could save you both a lot of wear and tear on the spirit.
DEAR ABBY: My aunt and uncle have been divorced from each other twice. They remarried a third time and now have a healthy marriage. In spite of all their marital trials, their two grown sons are just fine. It just goes to show you that what God has joined, let no man put asunder.
If "Divorced" still loves her ex-husband, and he feels the same, then they should go for it. Today's society has made marriage something that's disposable, when in reality, it's not. It's a soul tie that's unbreakable. And yes, Abby, I agree that couple should seek marriage counseling -- this time to heal the damage of the divorce, as well as what went wrong the first time. -- BELIEVER IN SECOND CHANCES IN TEXAS
DEAR BELIEVER: Not all marriages are "soul ties." Some of them are dysfunctional and abusive. In those cases, divorce is healthier for all concerned. But as this column proves, divorce does not have to be the end. Sometimes, it's just another chapter.