DEAR ABBY: My oldest sister, "Daisy," is married to an emotionally unstable man. I'll call him Dwight. Dwight's claim to fame is bragging that he can kill people with his bare hands.
Last year, at a family get-together, he grabbed my sister-in-law "Myra" from behind without warning, pulling her hair, getting her into a choke hold and physically hurting her. Myra barely knows Dwight. She was terribly frightened and upset, and ended up pressing charges against him.
The next day I called and asked Daisy about it. Her reply was that Dwight often shows off his "abilities" by grabbing people. Abby, her husband is old enough to know better. He's in his late 50s, but Daisy's attitude was "boys will be boys."
Because Myra pressed charges, Dwight was arrested. Daisy hasn't spoken to me since. She won't return my phone calls or acknowledge birthday cards and has generally been giving me the silent treatment for a year. Is it right for her to hold me responsible, since it was Myra who pressed charges? -- SNUBBED SISTER IN BURBANK
DEAR SNUBBED SISTER: What Dwight did was childish and dangerous. Martial arts were intended as a form of self-defense, not a way of getting attention at social gatherings. For an adult to have such a lapse in judgment is shocking, and he deserved to be arrested. Your sister should direct her anger at her husband, where it belongs, instead of at you. Myra was right to press charges. I hope it taught Dwight a much-needed lesson.