DEAR ABBY: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the column you printed last New Year's Day. My mother is always cutting out articles for me. The majority end up in the trash. But that one is taped to my bathroom wall. I read it every day on my way out. If I'm having a bad day, I think about it. Please print it again for me and others. Mine is a little tattered. -- HEATHER IN FLORIDA

DEAR HEATHER: With pleasure.

DEAR READERS: Rise and shine, and welcome to 2005! This is our chance for a new beginning, the day we discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones. With that in mind, I'm printing Dear Abby's oft-requested list of New Year's resolutions -- adapted by my mother from the original credo of Al-Anon.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I'll improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I'll refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I'm overweight, I'll eat healthily -- if only just for today. And not only that, I'll get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent by I.J. Bhatia, who lives in New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say: "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature." The following prayer of Saint Francis contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not as much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we are pardoned;

It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

May we find peace and joy in this New Year. To one and all, a happy, healthy 2005! -- Love, Abby

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 35 and the mother of a 10-year-old daughter, "Savannah," who is in the fourth grade.

Savannah claims that I am smothering her. She is not allowed to have sleepovers, and she may not attend any of the co-ed parties her friends throw. No sugar is allowed in our house unless it is a special occasion like a birthday. Whenever she goes to a friend's house, I call every hour to see how she is doing.

In the kitchen, Savannah is not allowed to use the stove, the oven, the blender, or any other appliance unless I am there to supervise.

My daughter attends an all-girls school because I don't want her exposed to some of the things boys do when they are her age. Savannah is not allowed to wear makeup, and I shop for her. Every morning, before she leaves home, she must come to me so I can monitor what she is wearing.

Abby, I love my daughter very much, and I only want what is best for her. Do you think I am smothering her? -- GOOD MOM IN HOUSTON

DEAR GOOD MOM: I believe you are a caring parent, but I also think you have gone off the deep end. In the name of being a conscientious parent you have placed your daughter under virtual house arrest. How is your daughter to learn to be independent and make intelligent decisions if you restrict her every move?

Calling her every hour at a friend's house to "see how she's doing" is overkill. If it doesn't stop, it won't be long before she will rebel. I know you mean well, but please, talk with a counselor about this. In the name of being a "good mom," you are stunting her growth and doing your child a disservice.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a college sophomore, and my roommate, "Sal," is driving me crazy. She talks down to me when we're in a group. She'll hijack my conversations and answer for me, even though I'm standing right there.

I'm not the only person who feels this way. Sal talks down to everyone. A large group of us went out to dinner and "Mike" was goofing off. She told him to sit still and use his indoor voice. She was completely serious!

She also tries to intimidate us physically. She shoves the guys around, and if the girls annoy her, she stands up as tall as she can, looks down her nose at us and announces, "I can EAT you!" At one point, she pinned me to my bed and tried to shove food in my mouth because she didn't believe I ate enough.

The few times we've tried to talk to Sal about this, she became defensive and stormed out, as she snarled that we are all immature and should grow up. We've about had enough. Can you help? -- LIVING WITH THE ALPHA DOG

DEAR LIVING: From your description, the girl has problems beyond what you and I can solve. Counseling could help her, but only if she's willing to face the fact that she needs help.

Since talking to the "alpha dog" hasn't worked, if you're living off campus, call a meeting of the housemates and inform her that you'd like her to leave. If you're staying in a dorm, request a change of rooms. And should she lay a hand on any of you in an effort to intimidate you, call the police and report the assault.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "J.H. in Yonkers," who fell in love on a trip to a friend's funeral. I agree with you, Abby, it's a great story. Mine is similar.

I dated Mike for 2 1/2 years and then we broke up. For eight months I couldn't forget him. On a whim, I called his mom during one of the many Midwestern blizzards of 1979. She told me her mother had died and the visitation was the next night. I made it through the snowdrifts to the visitation -- the only non-family member because of the weather. Mike invited me to the house afterward.

The next day, I met him in the church parking lot, where he told me guiltily he had whistled all the way to his grandmother's funeral because he knew I'd be there! We knew we were meant to be together and we were convinced his grandmother had a hand in it.

If we can believe that there are pennies from heaven, we can believe someone was looking out for J.H. and her love. Mike and I will celebrate our 25th anniversary in a few months. -- RUTH IN ROCK ISLAND, ILL.

DEAR RUTH: Your letter gave me goose bumps. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My parents met at a funeral 80 years ago. My mother, who always hated funerals, went because the deceased had been a close friend of her mother's. After the service, Mom was very impressed by a tall, handsome, older man she met. The rest is history. -- ESTHER IN KENMORE, N.Y.

DEAR ESTHER: Which proves that sometimes an ending can also be a beginning.

DEAR ABBY: In 1997, I met the love of my life at a funeral of a mutual friend who had been murdered. I was only 16. My love and I were married a year later.

From that horrible tragedy was born a friendship and love that has weathered almost every possible obstacle one can imagine in a marriage. Out of sadness came joy and love. From a tragic death was born a loving and giving life -- our daughter. -- PEGGI IN PENNSAUKEN, N.J.

DEAR PEGGI: That kind of tragedy can make the survivors grow up very quickly.

DEAR ABBY: My father died on Dec. 19 the year I turned 20. My mother was only 48, and I had four younger brothers and sisters. Our family was devastated that Christmas. All the neighbors knew about it and were very nice to us.

A girl up the street invited my two sisters and me to her birthday party on Jan. 11. She said if we didn't come, she would come and get us.

The girl who was giving the party had a younger brother, who had asked his best friend, "Jim," to the party. Jim and I started dating that week. We knew by summer that we would marry and were engaged the next year. On Oct. 22, we celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary.

When people ask how we met, I am not reluctant to tell them. I had never dated anyone before I met Jim -- so I say that Jim was sent from heaven. -- MAUREEN IN TORONTO

DEAR MAUREEN: And I believe it.

DEAR ABBY: I met a wonderful woman, who later became my wife, at her grandmother's funeral. I knew her parents, but she and I had never met before. We became friends and went out casually at first. Then we started dating. We were married last Nov. 5. When anyone asks how we met, we tell them her grandmother set us up. Which is true, in a way. -- DAVID IN COMER, GA.

DEAR DAVID: I wish you both a long and happy life together.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)