DEAR ABBY: I am deeply in love with a man who is handsome, smart and loving. We are engaged and happy together. The problem? We met on the Internet.

Abby, he thinks I am 26, but I'm not. Everything I've said to him has been a lie. I am really 12. I have tried to tell him the truth, but he doesn't believe me or thinks I'm joking. I try to break up with him, but we both can't say goodbye forever. I am 100 percent sure it's love.

He is planning to visit me in January. He says we will get married and have a nice future together. No one knows about this, so I need your help. What do I do next? How do I let go? -- LOST IN LOVE IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR LOST IN LOVE: You have been lying on the Internet. What makes you think that he hasn't been lying, too? Has it occurred to you that this man who "won't let go" could be a child molester in his 40s or 50s? What do you plan to do when he shows up? If you become further involved, he could be arrested!

For your safety, I urge you to tell your parents what has been going on. You have gotten yourself in over your head, and you may need more adult intervention than this columnist to get you out of the pit you have dug for yourself. Please talk to your parents. TODAY!

DEAR ABBY: I have a 14-year-old son, "Adam," whose paternal grandmother, "Bryna," is making life difficult for him. He has acne, for which he's seeing a dermatologist. He also needs braces, and I'm working on that as well.

When Adam goes to visit Grandma Bryna, he gets put-down after put-down. She "comments" about his acne and also his teeth.

I am no longer married to her son (he's deceased), and while we were married, we all got pretty much the same treatment. I don't want to sever ties with Bryna, as Adam still wants that connection with his dad. My daughter, who is older, refuses to have anything more to do with her.

When Bryna says these things to my son, she instructs him not to say anything about it to me. I don't want her to accuse him of ratting her out. I am ready to tell her not to contact us again. Should I take such a drastic step and cut off all ties with her? -- FRUSTRATED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Why not? The woman is spreading poison. If you had poison oak in your garden, wouldn't you remove it?

DEAR ABBY: Nine months ago, I went through the painful breakup of a relationship with a man I deeply loved. After months of grieving, I have met someone else. "Grant" and I hit it off on our first date. We have been seeing each other for two months and have a lot in common. He is thoughtful, respectful and attentive, and I think he could be "the one."

My problem: Grant plans to retire from work at the end of January and move out of state. He is having a beautiful home built in a small town in the South and talks about when he goes as though he plans to go alone.

I am afraid of being abandoned and hurt again. I would like to go with him, but I'm afraid if I say it so early in our relationship that I'll scare him off. Please tell me what to do. -- MOVING MADNESS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MOVING: Eight weeks of dating is too soon to ask a person to state his –- or her -- intentions. Let the relationship play out a while longer. On New Year's Eve, when you are toasting each other, tell him what your wish for 2005 would be, and cross your fingers.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Glenn," and his girlfriend of two years, "Nancy," have started college at different universities. Nancy made the cheerleading squad, and now it has gone to her head.

Nancy was never popular in high school, but now that she is, she has decided she no longer wants anything to do with Glenn. She acts very spoiled and wants everything her way.

Nancy told my son she likes being away from her parents and him, so she can do what she wants, when she wants. Glenn is worried sick about her. He thinks she's going to get in over her head. His father and I tell him he needs to move on. I know he loves Nancy, so how can we get him to forget her? -- WORRIED IN KANSAS

DEAR WORRIED: College is a time for growth, and in this case, the two young lovers have grown in different directions. Encourage your son to become more active at school, to study hard and to make a point of meeting new people. As much as he cares about Nancy, she has declared her independence. Since he can't protect her, he should concentrate his energies on taking care of himself. Time and distraction will heal what's ailing him.

DEAR ABBY: Ten years ago, my fiance, "Rick," and his then-wife, "Kim," lost their son shortly after birth. They had him cremated. Much to Rick's horror, Kim disposed of their baby's ashes in a Dumpster. She said she never wanted the baby in the first place.

Rick was devastated, as was the entire family. Kim acted very shut off and cold, not only during this tragic event, but with their other children as well.

Every year on the anniversary of his son's death, Rick breaks down and I grieve beside him. Is there anything I can have made (or make myself) in honor of the child? I feel it would ease the minds of those who were truly bereaved and let the baby boy rest in peace. -- WANTS TO HELP

DEAR WANTS: I'm unclear from your letter whether Rick's wife was distant during their entire marriage, or whether she might have been suffering from depression (and possibly psychosis) after the death of the baby. Because her behavior was bizarre, I can only hope she received medical and psychological care.

That you want to honor your fiance's child is commendable, but before doing anything, talk to Rick and ask what he would like. Planting a tree in a park with a small plaque would make a nice memorial -– or perhaps a scholarship in the baby's name.

DEAR ABBY: During professional meetings or events, people I work with ask me if I'm married or seeing anyone. Since these are not friends, but rather professional associates, I don't feel this question is appropriate. I would never think to ask someone such a personal question.

What is an appropriate response to these individuals that conveys it's none of their business without coming across as rude? -- STRICTLY BUSINESS IN D.C.

DEAR STRICTLY BUSINESS: The people who are asking you that question are probably just trying to be friendly or to get to know you better. However, since you prefer not to answer the question directly, reply, "When I know you better, perhaps we can discuss it," and change the subject.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old daughter went through exactly what the 16-year-old girl, "Not Interested in North Carolina," is experiencing.

I encouraged my daughter to make a list of all the things she wanted to accomplish in the future, and tell me if having a boyfriend would help. After she read what she had written, she came to the conclusion that dating was out for now, and she's fine with it. Now, when she feels peer pressure at school, she looks at her list -– which includes being a wonderful daughter, going to the college of her choice and traveling to certain foreign countries.

"Not Interested" should tape a similar list to her mirror or on the back of a door for easy reference. -- ENCOURAGING MOM, MIDLAND, TEXAS

DEAR MOM: After "Not Interested's" letter was printed, I was deluged with letters and e-mail from readers offering support. The number was overwhelming –- too many to count. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I hope that girl doesn't succumb to peer pressure. It's far more important to know who you are than to have a boyfriend. Having healthy relationships should be her focus, not fitting into what "society" tells her to do.

I am now 24 and engaged to be married next summer. By waiting until I was ready, I knew exactly what kind of relationship I wanted and have found a wonderful man who shares my values. -- HAPPY I WAITED IN OHIO

DEAR HAPPY: I agree, it takes courage not to follow the crowd. Not one of those who wrote to support "Not Interested" was sorry to have postponed dating.

DEAR ABBY: I was that girl, a "hard-core tomboy," which by the way, does not necessarily mean you're gay. (There are many very feminine lesbians.) I married at 22 and have been married for 21 years. After I had children, I realized that I am a lesbian -– and I have recently come out to my husband, family and friends.

My advice to "Not Interested" is to take her time dating boys, have fun with her sports, etc., and remember –- it's OK if she IS gay. If she's struggling, she should seek a gay support group for teens. -- LOVING MOM, SPRINGFIELD, MASS.

DEAR LOVING MOM: That's good advice for teens who may need it.

DEAR ABBY: I, too, was a hard-core tomboy. I was never into makeup or jewelry, and my only relationship as a teenager was one rather short-lived stint of "going steady" with a male friend in my freshman year of high school –- more because it seemed "expected" then because of any real attraction.

My family wondered if I was heterosexual. When, in my last year of college, I found the one special man I had been waiting for and announced it to my family, one relative even asked if I was marrying a man!

I'm now happily married to my soul mate, but I still have not settled into a typically feminine role. I am a full-time career firefighter, one of only three in a department of 200 members. I am also a paramedic and a member of the K9 search and rescue community.

That girl should not permit other people to mold her into what they think she ought to be. She sounds like a perfectly healthy, normal young woman to me. There are plenty of people who are just like us. I didn't marry until I was in my mid-20s. All things considered, I turned out pretty well despite "late blooming" –- and so will she. -- FORMER TOMBOY IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FORMER TOMBOY: Not only have you done "pretty well," you're one heck of a role model for the rest of us!

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)