DEAR ABBY: Please settle an argument I'm having with my wife. Our 18-year-old daughter, "Crystal," suffers from ADHD. Last June, my wife insisted that Crystal get a summer job. After weeks of searching, the only job Crystal could find was selling door-to-door.
I was afraid that this door-to-door sales might put my daughter in danger, so I quietly approached the owner of a small business nearby and paid her to give Crystal a job. Crystal did well, and it turned out to be a positive work experience -- her first for someone non-family.
My wife just found out what I did, and she is irate. I didn't tell her because she is such a penny-pincher -- she complained about piano lessons for Crystal during her senior year because "she was going to college anyway."
Is what I did so terribly wrong? I think it was a good thing. -- IN THE DOGHOUSE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR "IN": Although you did not mention the toll that having ADHD has taken on your daughter, I'm sure it has been significant. You weren't wrong to want to level the playing field for your daughter and ensure her safety. The benefit to both of you is that she now has a summer of work experience behind her -- and the confidence that goes along with it -- and you had peace of mind. You behaved like a concerned and loving father, and that is laudable.