DEAR ABBY: I met "Monique" six years ago and immediately fell hard for her. We dated for about a month. At the time she was also seeing someone else. Then one night Monique called me and said she was only going to date one guy, and it wasn't me.

Three and a half years later, she called me out of the blue and said she wanted to see me again. I was thrilled. We dated for a month; then Monique told me she didn't want to have a relationship. I was hurt again.

Seven months later my phone rang. It was Monique saying she wanted to see me. She came over and said we should get married because her daughters need to live in a better neighborhood. She now says it was a "crazy" thing for her to say, because it started our "third relationship" off on a bad note with me wondering if she loves me or my house.

It has now been more than a year. Monique says she loves me and wants commitment. She is 30 and has been divorced three times. I love her, but the way she treated me in the past makes me question whether I should trust her. Should I throw caution to the wind and propose anyway? -- CRAZY ABOUT HER IN MOBILE, ALA.

DEAR CRAZY ABOUT HER: No. Pay attention to your misgivings. They are the voice of your intuition trying to warn you. If you are determined to marry her, do not propose without first having consulted a lawyer and drafting a prenuptial agreement. It won't save you from the risk of heartache, but it could save you from economic disaster later on.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my 70s. My wife and I live in a house across the street from two middle-aged ladies. Recently some limbs from one of their trees fell onto their lawn, so I went into their yard to remove them. Rather than welcoming my help, they were upset that I went into their yard without being invited.

Abby, I was raised to help ladies, especially those living alone. I was taught that when help was needed to fix a flat tire or to do some heavy lifting, to step forward without being asked. Has the world changed so much that I was off base in doing this?

Your comments would be appreciated. We live in a small neighborhood where most people help each other and get along well. However, their reactions really bothered me. -- HURT NEIGHBOR, COWETA, OKLA.

DEAR HURT NEIGHBOR: You weren't off base; you are a gentleman of the old school. Your neighbors, however, may have been raised to be independent and not to rely on a man's help for anything.

Feeling as they do, they should have posted a "No Trespassing" sign on their property. However, now that you know how they feel about their "turf," don't go into their yard unless invited -- if then.

DEAR ABBY: I have a short-sleeved red "church" dress. What color shoes should I wear with it? It's almost impossible to find a red shoe that matches. Should I wear black or tan/taupe? -- KIMMIE IN AUBURN, ALA.

DEAR KIMMIE: During the spring and summer, accessorizing with tan or white would be attractive. In the winter, accessorizing with black would be acceptable. Or take your dress to your shoe repair shop and ask if a pair of your shoes could be dyed to match it. (I have done it and was very pleased with the results.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Sherman," and I sleep together. Recently I have noticed that he constantly moves his legs and feet. He does this even after he falls asleep. I have lost a lot of sleep during the last few weeks because of his constant leg movements.

I approached Sherman this morning and asked him to go to the doctor and get something for this. He became defensive and refused. I told him if he isn't willing to go with me to the doctor, I'd have to sleep in another bed because I need my rest. I'm also afraid Sherman isn't getting the rest he needs, even though he may not realize it.

I feel if my husband respects me and cares about my feelings, he should be willing to go. Who is right? -- SLEEPLESS IN BURLINGTON, WASH.

DEAR SLEEPLESS: You are, of course, and your husband is acting like a baby. Since the symptoms are new, he should be examined by a doctor. Your husband may have a condition known as Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS). (An estimated 10 percent of the population has it, and information about it can be found at the Web site of the National Restless Legs Foundation, www.rls.org.) But first, since the patient who diagnoses himself has a fool for a doctor, make sure he consults a physician.

DEAR ABBY: My husband works at a busy airport for an elevator company. Among his varied duties, he must file a report on all elevator and escalator accidents. A few simple rules would eliminate the vast majority of accidents. It would be a great public service if you would print these safety tips in your column. -- DELIGHT J., WINTERHAVEN, FLA.

DEAR DELIGHT: I'm "delighted" to spread the word.

-- Step on and off elevators and escalators carefully.

-- Do not use your hand to stop an elevator door from closing.

-- If the elevator doors won't open, remain calm, ring the alarm button and wait.

-- Hold the handrails on escalators at all times.

-- Stand facing forward on escalators.

And now I'll add two tips of my own: Do not run "up" the "down" escalators, and if you are wearing long garments, make sure when stepping off that your clothing does not become caught in the mechanism.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter was dating an attorney I'll call Clarence. They supposedly split up a few months ago. Over the last few weeks, correspondence from a local car dealer addressed to Clarence has been sent to my house.

My daughter called me all flustered about a week after the first piece of mail was delivered and asked if "something in his name" had arrived. She then explained that Clarence had bought a car and had it titled to my address "because taxes would be cheaper."

Now I'm getting other mail in his name. Isn't this some sort of invasion of privacy, a form of harassment or fraud? I don't have a lot of respect for this guy. I'm not sure how to handle this situation, nor do I know how to stop what Clarence is doing. -- FRUSTRATED IN MENTOR, OHIO

DEAR FRUSTRATED: What Clarence is doing is called fraud -- and you can stop it by simply writing, "Does not reside at this address" on the envelope and returning it to your postal worker. If that doesn't do the trick, notify the Postal Inspection Service.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Smoke from a fire is sneaky, a silent killer. If a home fire breaks out while we are sleeping, we will not hear smoke as it creeps into our bedrooms, banking up the walls, curling across the ceiling. We will snuggle deeper into the blankets, unaware of the poisons enveloping us. It will grow and spread, becoming hotter and hotter, until it reaches our beds. Then our lungs will be filled with scorching poisonous gases silently extinguishing our lives.

That harsh scenario is what happens in home fires in America every single day. According to the Home Safety Council's State of Home Safety in America Report, fire and burns are a leading cause of home injury-related death. To prevent this from happening, we need working smoke alarms.

October is Fire Safety Month, and it's the logical time for all of us to consider how safe we are from fire. The majority of fire deaths occur at home, where we can make simple changes that can help us to stay safer.

When it comes to our personal safety and the safety of loved ones, we must hope for the best but prepare for the worst. A safe home is within our hands. -- MERI-K APPY, PRESIDENT, HOME SAFETY COUNCIL

DEAR MERI-K: Thank you for the reminder. My experts have stressed to me that every home must have WORKING smoke alarms installed on each level of the house. Additional smoke detectors should be placed inside rooms where people sleep. The Home Safety Council recommends hard-wired, interconnected smoke alarms powered by household electricity. They should be tied together so that if one alarm signals, they will all signal, regardless of where the fire is detected. And for the "ultimate" in fire protection, nothing compares to automatic fire sprinkler systems, which put water directly onto the flames in the early stages of fire, slowing the spread of deadly smoke and heat.

As "Step One" during Fire Safety Month, please make time this week to ensure you have enough smoke alarms. Replace batteries in existing alarms and test them once a month. For more information on smoke alarms, escape plans and home fire sprinkler systems, visit www.HomeSafetyCouncil.org.

DEAR ABBY: I threw a party at my house and invited my usual friends. "Dave" arrived wearing a pair of sunglasses, even though my party was at night. He perched the glasses over the bill on his baseball cap and left them there all evening.

The party was a barbecue outside in my back yard, and my 8-month-old Doberman, "Rommel," was running around. At some point, Dave's glasses fell off and Rommel used them for a toy. I had no idea what had happened until the next day, when Dave called and asked me to look for them.

When Dave found out my dog had ruined the glasses, he demanded that I pay for them to the tune of $350! I don't think I owe him any money. Am I wrong? -- DOG LOVER IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR DOG LOVER: No, you are not wrong. The sunglasses were Dave's property, and he should have made sure they were protected. As his host, you had enough responsibilities on your shoulders during the evening. Dave shouldn't blame others for his carelessness. (Nice try, though.)

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)