DEAR ABBY: "Gary" and I were married two months ago. For our honeymoon, we took a cruise to the eastern Caribbean.

One week after our return, I came down with a yeast infection that I treated with an over-the-counter medication. A few days later, Gary got what we thought was a urinary tract infection, which we treated with lots of water and cranberry juice. When neither of our conditions improved, we went to the doctor, who diagnosed us both with chlamydia.

We were shocked! Gary and I had both tested negative for all STDs before we were married. The nurse asked if we had been in a hot tub recently, and we replied that we'd spent many hours in hot tubs on the cruise ship. The nurse then informed us that chlamydia is a bacteria, and bacteria love warm, moist environments -- like hot tubs. She said it was the most likely source of this disease in our case.

We contacted the cruise line and told them that their hot tubs were not clean and asked them to reimburse us for the cost of our prescriptions. The man I spoke to refused and accused me of lying.

I know you can't help me with the cruise line, Abby, but I want to warn your readers about public hot tubs. Perhaps it will save others from contracting a disease like we did. -- CONTAMINATED IN OHIO

DEAR OHIO: Thank you for wanting to spare others your unfortunate experience.

After reading your letter, I contacted the Centers for Disease Control National STD and AIDS Hotline (1-800-342-2437). I was told that chlamydia is NOT transmitted by sitting in or on the rim of a hot tub, nor by any other inanimate object. It is transmitted through genital contact.

Two diseases that "potentially" can be spread in and around swimming pools and hot tubs -- although it has NOT been well-documented -- are trichomoniasis (a parasite) and molluscum contagiosum (a virus), which can also be transmitted from unclean towels or bathing suits.

The most important thing your letter illustrates to me is how important it is for people to be properly diagnosed, rather than treating themselves with over-the-counter remedies.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old single mother of a 3-year-old daughter. I was physically and verbally abused by both of my parents. I no longer live with them. However, I try to have a good relationship with them. They are the only support system I have.

I have no one except my parents to watch my child, but I see them starting to yell at her. When I mention that yelling is not good for my daughter, they accuse me of being "overly protective." Can you tell me how to deal with this? I am still trying to overcome the temper I developed while living with them. -- IN A BIND IN BATON ROUGE

DEAR IN A BIND: Under no circumstances should your parents baby-sit your child. It's time for you to find another baby sitter and to build another support system. Start by reaching out to fellow church members, other single parents and contemporaries. You could also benefit by attending a parenting class with other young mothers. There you will learn about child development and meet other single parents who are struggling with issues similar to yours.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old girl with a lot of questions about sex and growing up. I can't ask my mom because every time I bring up the subject, she accuses me of having sex. There isn't another adult I would consider talking to about this.

Abby, I am not having sex -- I am just curious. Is it wrong to be curious? Please help me. -- BLINDSIDED IN BRONXVILLE, N.Y.

DEAR BLINDSIDED: It is normal to be curious. Your mother should thank her lucky stars that you are coming to her for information. Many young people turn to their friends for answers, which often turn out to be wrong.

Please clip this item. Give it to your mother and tell her you wrote it. You are not a little girl anymore, and you should already have been armed with accurate information.

The Sexuality Information and Education Council has a wealth of information resources and tools for parents in addressing this important subject. Its Web site, www.familiesaretalking.org, helps families talk about sexuality-related issues and provides information and resources for young people, parents and caregivers.

If your mother continues to accuse you of being sexually active or puts you off, go to the library and ask the librarian for books on the subject. Other reliable Web resources include Planned Parenthood's Teenwire, www.teenwire.com; and the American Social Health Association, www.iwannaknow.org, which is a safe place for teens to learn about sexual health.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started dating a man I'll call Freddy. We met through an online dating service. We live in the same city and have had several dates, including a sleep-over. I am completely taken with him.

My problem is that Freddy continues to keep his profile on the dating site and visits it frequently. He says he goes there only if someone contacts him. I told him it makes me feel insecure; he said until he feels "safe" (previous women have left him for other men), he's going to continue to go to the site.

Am I wrong to feel insecure about this, or do lots of people leave their profiles active while dating someone? -- SUSPICIOUS IN COLUMBIA, S.C.

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Many people do -- at least for a while. And if I were you, I'd remember that several dates and a sleep-over are not a committed or exclusive relationship. Although you may be "completely" taken with Freddy, he may prefer to test-drive several models before buying a car -- or anything else. Slow down.

DEAR ABBY: In a few weeks I will be attending my boyfriend "Don's" daughter's wedding. Several years ago, Don cheated on me with a woman I'll call Mona. It was only a short fling, and since then we have worked hard to repair our relationship. My problem is, Mona will be attending the wedding, too.

Should I go and hold my head high -- or not attend? I know it will be hard seeing her and not acting in a negative way. Mona has never stopped trying to interfere with our lives, and I have had a lot to swallow. What would you do? -- NEEDS SOME INPUT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NEEDS: I'd ask Don how he plans to handle it if Mona tries to attach herself to him, and agree upon some ground rules. Then I'd attend the wedding, be gracious to everyone, and revel in the fact that I was Don's girlfriend while Mona is the "loser" in more ways than one.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Two weeks ago, my husband let it slip that he wants a divorce. Since we were married, his personality has changed completely. He is not the man I married.

I would like to pass along some tips for anyone considering marriage, and share some of the bright-red flags I chose to ignore.

-- If your parents or siblings have doubts about him, pay attention. Listen and check it out.

-- If your intended has nothing good to say about his ex, beware. This is a pattern. Divorce is rarely only one person's fault.

-- If his children have nothing to do with him, do not believe him if he says his ex brainwashed them against him. My stepchildren have told me it was because they hated him, and they have good reasons.

-- Look closely at his credit and job history. They are sure predictors of what your life will be like.

-- If he's over 30 and has no money, do not let him move in with you, and don't marry him until he's financially solvent. If he has any respect for you (and himself), he'll insist on it.

-- Be sure in your heart that you can live with him AS IS. You cannot change another person.

-- This is a biggie: Beware if he has no friends. It is not true that they all chose to side with his ex.

-- If your friends dislike him, pay attention. This is also true if he hates your friends.

-- If he has more than one DUI and still drinks, run!

-- If he is one personality at work or with others, and another person alone with you, run.

-- If he has nothing to do with his parents, investigate why. Don't take his word for it.

-- If he's an expert at everything and brags a lot, understand that he will turn off a lot of people, eventually maybe even you.

-- If he has sexual problems, go with him to a doctor before you marry him. Believe me, his problem will become your problem.

-- If he is emotionally or verbally abusive, it will only get worse. Yelling, name-calling and glowering are classic signs of an abuser.

-- If he is never wrong and never apologizes, everything will be "your fault" forever. And after years of hearing it, you may even start to accept the blame.

-- If he does something wrong and says, "That wouldn't have happened if you hadn't ( )," that's another sign of an abuser.

-- And if he's mean to children, pets or animals, recognize that he's pathological, and the next victim could be you.

I am now 100 percent disabled and in danger of losing everything. I was taken in by someone who came to regard me as a disposable item. I only hope my letter will save someone else from the heartbreak I'm experiencing. -- EYES WIDE OPEN IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR EYES WIDE OPEN: Your letter is brimming with well-thought-out advice, and I hope my readers will heed it. Now I have some advice for you: Start asking around for the name of the best divorce lawyer you can find, and be prepared for a fight. I wish you luck.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)