DEAR ABBY: My dad went to prison in 1989 and was released last November. My sister and I were excited that Dad was coming home, but it has been a nightmare. He is manipulative, whiny and endlessly needy.
He moved in with my sister and she's going crazy. She asked me to take him, but after my husband saw the way Dad behaves, he flat out refused to have him in our home. I agree with him.
Dad keeps making excuses about why he can't live on his own. He claims he doesn't have the money, but then he goes out and buys all kinds of things for himself. He refuses to accept responsibility for his actions and insists that things are everybody else's fault.
My sister feels too guilty to kick him out, and I am at the end of my rope. Dad won't go to counseling because he thinks he doesn't need it. Is this a case for tough love? -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN WASHINGTON
DEAR NEEDS: The person who could benefit from counseling is your sister. Until she can emotionally distance herself from Dad, she will continue to be manipulated by his stance as a perpetual victim and his guilt trips. Once your sister has established boundaries, setting a date for Dad to be out of her home and insisting upon it are excellent ideas.