DEAR ABBY: I am an 11th-grade girl who should be an all-around happy teenager, but lately I've been depressed. Ever since seventh grade, I've gotten depressed at the same time every year.

The first time it happened there were many reasons for it. Around that time, you published a list of signs that point to depression. I fit all of them except one -- thoughts of suicide. Your list made me realize I needed help, and I got it.

For a while I was doing great. But now, every year I get this recurrence. My mood gets low and I have no energy. My grades drop. I feel worthless and cry easily.

Is there a reason why this happens, and is there anything I can do about it? (I live in an area where there is little climate change year-round.) Also, could you please publish the signs of depression again? It helped me immensely, and may help others, too. -- ANONYMOUS TEEN

DEAR ANONYMOUS TEEN: I'm certainly willing to publish them again, but before I do, allow me to direct some remarks to you. The fact that your depression recurs each year is not unusual, I am told. However, it is important that you tell your doctor about it. You should also discuss it with your family. Because depression often runs in families, you may be surprised to discover you are not alone.

My experts tell me that regardless of age, anyone who experiences any five of the following symptoms for two weeks or more should consult a mental health professional:

(1) Fatigue or loss of energy.

(2) Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed.

(3) Feelings of sadness and/or irritability.

(4) Inability to concentrate, remember things or make decisions.

(5) Changes in sleep patterns.

(6) Changes in weight and appetite.

(7) Restlessness or decreased activity noticed by others.

(8) Feeling guilty, hopeless or worthless.

(9) Thoughts of death or suicide.

DEAR ABBY: I received a card from my husband's aunt, "Millie." With it, she enclosed a check. Millie and I have never met, but her note was warm and friendly. I wrote back and thanked her.

A few months later, we received another lovely card from Millie with another check enclosed. I'm sending her a thank-you note today, but I'm not sure how to decline future checks. As I understand it, Millie and her husband are elderly and not well-to-do. Although I appreciate their love and concern for our growing family, I feel uncomfortable accepting monetary gifts from them.

I don't want to appear rude or ungrateful. I would love to continue corresponding with Millie, but I don't want her to feel she has to pay for it. What should I say? -- CHECKS ALWAYS IN THE MAIL

DEAR CHECKS: Thank generous Aunt Millie for her thoughtfulness. Tell her that you are enjoying the opportunity of getting to know her, then deposit the money in the bank. Use it to buy her something lovely at Christmas or something for the children. If you decide to spend it on the children, let her know what you bought for them from their "great" Aunt Millie. It will help them to feel closer to her.

P.S.: Be sure they write thank-you notes to her.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 24. My fiance is 28. We have been together for five years and are engaged to be married in August. I love him, but I wonder if I love him enough to marry him. The closer we get to our wedding, the more I want to be free.

I want to go out, have fun and not feel so serious about everything. He makes things so much more complicated than they have to be. I can't even suggest a place to go for dinner without him having to think it over.

I feel guilty because I feel less attracted to him all the time. Should I marry him? -- CLAUSTROPHOBIC IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR CLAUSTROPHOBIC: You may be experiencing pre-wedding jitters, but one thing is certain: You shouldn't say "I do" unless you mean it with all your heart. You and your fiance could benefit from premarital counseling. It is something that many churches offer and can be valuable for any couple considering a lifetime commitment. Only if you can accept your fiance the way he is should you go through with the marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I'm embarrassed to admit this, but my husband doesn't brush his teeth every day. To make matters worse, he wears upper dentures, which he soaks and cleans only about once a week. He hasn't been to a dentist in the 13 years we've been married, and I suspect he hadn't been for some time before that.

I have talked to him about how this limits my desire to kiss him. Smelling his breath from 3 feet away is something I can't ignore.

I have tried reasoning with him that dental health is part of a total health program, but he also hasn't been seen by a doctor in the time we've been married -- despite a family history of heart problems, prostate cancer and diabetes. He appears to be in good health, but I worry about him.

When I tell him how his lax dental hygiene affects my physical desire, he listens intently, says he understands -- and then nothing changes. I love him. We have a good marriage, but he simply won't budge. Please give me some advice. Perhaps if he sees this in the paper he'll recognize himself. -- LONGING FOR A SWEET-SMELLING KISS IN GEORGIA

DEAR LONGING: Don't bet on it. There is none so blind as he who will not see. Your husband also appears to have selective deafness when it comes to hearing something he'd rather not act upon.

Frankly, I don't know how you have stood it this long. Insist on "clearing the air" with a marriage counselor. Your husband's refusal to attend to his oral hygiene is childish and disrespectful. Ask for a referral to a health-care provider who is familiar with medical and dental phobias. The alternative is to spend the rest of your life wearing a clothespin on your nose when your husband feels amorous.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am an almost-14-year-old boy in Iowa. My father thinks my hair is too long and says I should get a summer cut -- short like his, of course. The reason, according to my mom, is adults have said how bad my hair looks. I believe if they're going to be so rude as to say that to my mom, I should keep it long to keep them mad.

I get the feeling that my dad is afraid, as a physician, that it's hurting his reputation.

Abby, I'm a good kid. I get straight A's. I'm involved in many constructive activities, and my hair is just a little over my ears, almost touching my T-shirt collar in the back, and my bangs are brushed to the side. Who's right here? -- IRRITATED IN IOWA

DEAR IRRITATED: You appear to be intelligent and a high achiever. Please don't let a power struggle over the length of your hair ruin your summer. A compromise may be in order. Take a long, hard look in the mirror. If a number of people have said your hair looks "bad," perhaps it could be shaped -- a little -- into something less shaggy and more flattering. If you're afraid your dad's barber might scalp you, consider consulting your mother's hairdresser. Where I live, it's common to see males in beauty salons because their girlfriends, wives or mothers have sent them there.

DEAR ABBY: Every year, on my in-laws' birthdays, I prepare a beautiful dinner, bake or purchase a decorated cake and buy them a nice gift. My parents do the same for my husband.

When my birthday comes, my in-laws acknowledge it with only a card. My husband has talked to them about it (they are well off financially and could afford to take us out for dinner if his mom doesn't want to cook), but they feel that a card is adequate. They say, "People shouldn't do things for others because they expect something back."

Am I wrong to expect some kind of reciprocation? Frankly, I'm hurt. -- SLIGHTED IN MISSOURI

DEAR SLIGHTED: Your feelings are justified. Although I agree that people should not do things for others because they expect something back, by putting forth no effort on your birthday, they are sending the message that they haven't accepted you as a daughter. Perhaps when their next birthdays roll around, their son should be the one to prepare the dinner, make sure there's a birthday cake and purchase their gift. If he remembers, that is.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a great marriage. We're crazy about each other. There's just one thing we can't seem to agree on: He wants to travel to faraway places and I don't. I even suggested that if it means that much to him, he could go with one of his friends or a family member. He insists that he doesn't want to go without me.

This issue isn't hurting our marriage, but it sure isn't helping it, either. Any suggestions? -- HOMEBODY IN NORFOLK, VA.

DEAR HOMEBODY: Everyone should have your problems -- a husband with an appetite for world travel, the pocketbook to back it up, and the desire to share the excitement of the adventure with his own true love. If I were you, I'd quit complaining and start packing.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)