DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Dick," moved in with me, into a home I have owned for 13 years. A year later, he accepted a job in a city two hours away. (There were no jobs in this area.) Dick lives in an apartment there during the week. We were later married.
The other day we went shopping, and I bought a decorator accessory for the house. Dick didn't like the color and became very angry at me.
The house is in my name only. Dick does not contribute to the house or its upkeep. He uses all the supplies in the house and never offers to pay for expenses. He gives me a check every month for less than half the utilities. Meanwhile, he earns a good salary and contributes to a 401(k).
Abby, Dick doesn't live here most of the week, despite my urging him to find a job that's closer. I am paying for most of the expenses for the house even though I'm battling cancer. I feel he has no right to complain. Which one of us is right? -- FRUSTRATED DECORATOR
DEAR FRUSTRATED: Your marital problems go far beyond a disagreement about a decorator item. It appears your husband is not fully committed to the marriage, as demonstrated by his failure to support you financially or emotionally during your illness. It's time to reach a meeting of the minds and hearts about his job, your finances and your future together. A giant step in the right direction would be to consult a marriage counselor. Your physician can refer you to one. If your husband refuses to go, go without him.