DEAR READERS: Today marks the 228th year since the Declaration of Independence was adopted by the Second Continental Congress in Philadelphia.

The resolution for the Declaration was introduced June 7, 1776, by Richard Henry Lee.

Do you know who seconded the motion? John Adams -- who would later become our second U.S. president.

Any idea how many states he was president of? (I confess, I had to call the public library to find out.) There were only 16 when John Adams took office.

Do you know who wrote our Declaration of Independence? A committee of five. Thomas Jefferson is credited with writing most of it, assisted by John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Robert R. Livingston and Roger Sherman.

And was it enthusiastically adopted? Heck, no! The Congress "suggested" a number of changes -- and you can imagine how poor Jefferson felt about that. (About the same as any author who has to report to an editor.) Do you care to know how many changes were made by the "tweakers"? Eighty-six. (It makes one wonder if that's where the term "eighty-sixed" -- slang for someone or something ejected or rejected -- originated.)

The Lee-Adams Resolution of Independence was adopted on July 2, 1776. The Declaration, which gives the details of the resolution, was adopted on the evening of July 4.

So why don't we celebrate on July 2? Beats me -- Happy Fourth of July one and all!

Readers, as you and I celebrate our freedom, won and secured by members of our military over the years, let's remember our troops in Iraq and around the world who risk their safety every day on our behalf. Send messages of appreciation and support via www.OperationDearAbby.net. Trust me, they will be received with gratitude.

DEAR ABBY: What is wrong with men that they don't have the energy to pick up a phone when they're going to be late and let their wives (or girlfriends) know? After an hour we get anxious; after two, we get worried.

After three hours had passed with no word from my husband, I called the police. They assured me that there had been no accidents in the area. I considered asking them if they would be willing to arrest my husband for causing so much worry and making me look like such a fool for having called them.

We women are equally to blame. As soon as we find out that everything's OK, our hearts melt with relief and we forgive them on the spot. I need to know how to stay angry long enough to let my husband know this is unacceptable behavior. Hello! There are pay phones all over the place. You men can let us know what's going on at any time. -- KAREN IN LILY DALE, N.Y.

DEAR KAREN: I don't blame you for being miffed. Three hours is a long time to wonder if a loved one is dead, injured or simply inconsiderate.

I have another idea. Rather than "staying angry," give your darling a cell phone. Then if he's more than a half-hour late, instead of calling the police -- call HIM.

DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old daughter recently told me that my ex-husband is being married on a trip to Hawaii. Is it appropriate for me to congratulate him since he has not mentioned the engagement to me? We only speak when he's calling on the phone for our daughter. -- PUZZLED ABOUT "EX" ETIQUETTE

DEAR PUZZLED: By all means congratulate him and wish him luck. And when you do, tell him that good news travels fast.

CONFIDENTIAL TO PAULINE PHILLIPS IN MINNEAPOLIS: Happy 86th birthday to the sweetest mother in the world. You are my example and my inspiration, and I love you.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 33-year-old single mother of two, in the process of moving to a new state to be near my family. My older sister and her husband have asked me to be the surrogate mother of a child for them. They have been trying to conceive a child for a long time without success. I agreed without reservation.

My problem is my boyfriend, "Pete." He doesn't understand how I can do it, and why I didn't ask his permission before deciding. We have been together only since September, and I didn't feel it was a decision that I needed to run past him.

Although I am excited about being a surrogate for my sister, Pete is making me feel guilty about it. He insists he is just worried about me. I love Pete, but I don't want to feel guilty about the wonderful choice I have made. What should I do? -- SURROGATE SISTER

DEAR SISTER: Arrange an evening with your sister, brother-in-law and Pete. Perhaps if he hears firsthand from them about the pain of not being able to conceive a child, he will better understand what you have decided to do. However, if it fails to give him the necessary insight, you may have to choose between your wish to be a surrogate and your current boyfriend.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago I got involved with a man who was going through a divorce. I'll call him Tom. Our relationship was great. We got along well and enjoyed each other's company.

Shortly after I learned I was pregnant, he left me to go back to his wife. It has been a constant game of back-and-forth ever since.

Our son arrived in June, but Tom has made no effort to help support me or the baby. However, he has made an attempt to see his son.

I live with my parents, work and go to college. They threaten to kick me out because I talk to Tom and want our baby to know his father. I wonder if I should let him see the baby, if I should try to move out on my own, or if I should stay here and continue to live under my parents' control.

Do you think it is fair for them to give me an ultimatum? On the one hand, I don't think it's right to keep him from seeing the baby; on the other, it's not right that he doesn't help with support or anything.

What advice can you offer? -- DEPRESSED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DEPRESSED: Your parents may be heavy-handed, but they have your best interests at heart. The best way to assure your child's future is to stay where you are and finish your education.

I agree that your former boyfriend should contribute to his son's support. To ensure that he does, talk to a lawyer about what his legal responsibilities are. Visitation can be arranged at that time. If it is court-ordered, I'm sure your parents will comply.

DEAR ABBY: The wife of one of my co-workers just had a miscarriage. It's her second one. If the baby had been born, I would send a sympathy card. But what should I do in a case like this? -- STUCK IN INDIANA

DEAR STUCK: Send a card or a short note expressing your sympathy to the couple. I am sure it will be appreciated.

When couples learn they are going to be parents, they begin to make plans for that child. They have dreams about what they will do with and for that child. If the pregnancy doesn't come to term, they suffer a tragic loss and it should be acknowledged.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: With Independence Day approaching, I'm asking for your help in reminding your millions of readers about the danger of fireworks, especially to the eyes.

Each year during Fourth of July celebrations, thousands of adults and children are seriously injured as a result of fireworks and pyrotechnic devices. Many of the injuries affect eyesight, permanently damaging -- and in some cases blinding -- the victims. In response, the American Optometric Association (AOA) urges people to refrain from using fireworks and to instead enjoy professional displays.

About two-thirds of fireworks-related injuries are burns. Most of the burns involve the hands, eyes, head and face. Almost half of the victims are under 15 years of age, and 75 percent of them are male. The most frequent cause of fireworks injuries requiring trips to the emergency room is sparklers. (Did you know that sparklers can heat up to 1,800 degrees, enough to melt gold?) A sparkler can also literally poke someone's eye out.

This may come as a surprise, but bystanders are also not safe from injury. Data from the U.S. Eye Injury Registry reveals that half of all fireworks injuries occur to bystanders.

So, on this Fourth of July, members of the AOA urge your readers to protect their eyes by avoiding fireworks and enjoying professional displays from a safe distance. -- DR. WESLEY PITTMAN, PRESIDENT, A.O.A.

DEAR DR. PITTMAN: Thank you for the timely reminder. Although many people, young and old, regard fireworks as harmless fun, the facts show otherwise.

According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, during 2002, an estimated 8,800 people were treated in hospital ERs for injuries associated with fireworks. An estimated 20 percent to 25 percent of fireworks injuries are to the eyes -- mostly contusions and lacerations -- and most of those are caused by firecrackers, rockets and sparklers.

So, a word to the wise: Have a "blast" on the Fourth of July -- but do it in a way that will protect yourselves and your families.

DEAR ABBY: I am 17 and currently involved with a guy from school. The guy that I was with for a year and a half (my ex) wants to marry me. I still have feelings for him, but not like I used to.

I like my new boyfriend and don't really want to leave him. When my ex and I broke up, it was only supposed to be "a little time apart." My ex showed signs that he was moving on, so I did the same. Now that he wants to get back together, I don't know what to do. Should I go back with him and give it a chance or let him down gently? -- PULLED IN TWO DIRECTIONS

DEAR PULLED: You are 17 years old and on the brink of a bright and exciting future. Why are you in such a hurry to make a permanent commitment? Since you have already "moved on," you should continue moving on. When the right man comes along, you won't need to ask anyone what to do -- you'll know.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)