DEAR ABBY: I live in a small town and attend a local high school that has about 1,400 students. In the last three years, there have been an outrageous number of student deaths. It has become so common that the student body is no longer shocked.

We have lost a student who was run down by a drunk driver, two were murdered in drive-by shootings, two drowned in boating accidents, one died in a car accident that was triggered by an aneurysm, another dropped dead during class due to an undisclosed medical condition, and three others died in car accidents. Three days ago two more students were in a car wreck that left both in critical condition.

Has our school fallen under a terrible curse? We have suffered enough. There is only so much grief one school can handle. Please, Abby, tell me what can be done to lift the spirits of the students. -- GRIEVING IN LOUISIANA

DEAR GRIEVING: The first thing to do is recognize that their feelings (and yours) are normal. To be confronted with the fact that life isn't infinite at your tender age can be shocking. It is normal to be sad, angry, confused and frightened when someone close to you dies.

Everyone must cope with the reality of death in his or her own way. A giant step in that direction would have been for the principal of your school to have brought counselors to the campus to help the students work through their grief. Writing letters to the parents of the students who died is another way to get your feelings out, and the parents would treasure them.

A memorial to your deceased classmates might help the rest of you to move on -- a mural, a garden, something tangible to ensure they will not be forgotten. Please consider it if you haven't already done so.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 36-year-old woman with AIDS. Before I was diagnosed, I worked -- usually as a secretary -- in various parts of the country. I had no problem finding work. Then my health deteriorated, and I wasn't able to work for a long time. Recently I was given new medications and I'm now healthier than I have been in a decade.

I am able to work and want to get off disability, but I now have a 10-year gap in my work history. If I mention the reason on a job application, I'm afraid no one will hire me. I could lie and say I was "staying home with the children," but I don't have any children.

Can you advise me on how to handle this? -- WANTS TO WORK IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR WANTS TO WORK: Certain questions are illegal in the job hiring process, including a person's general medical condition, state of health or illness, and/or physical or mental disabilities. You are not legally required to discuss your health. If you are asked, you are within your rights to say that you didn't work for personal reasons.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl and haven't had my period for almost five months. What does that mean? -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN MIAMI

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: There could be several reasons for it. However, the person to determine the cause should be your doctor. Please do not wait to discuss the problem with him or her. Ask your mother to schedule an appointment and accompany you. It will put your concerns to rest.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: A couple of months ago, I suffered a heart attack. It happened one morning while I was getting ready for work. I felt a lot of pressure in my chest and thought it was indigestion. I sat down for a few minutes, thinking it would pass -- but then I broke out in a cold sweat and became very nauseated.

My husband took one look at me and insisted we go straight to the emergency room. When we arrived, they gave me some tests and told me I was having a heart attack. I couldn't believe it. Like many women, I thought heart attacks happened only to men.

I didn't know that women can have entirely different symptoms than men. My ignorance could have killed me.

Abby, please urge women over the age of 40 who have a relative who has suffered a heart attack at an early age, or women being medicated for high blood pressure or cholesterol, to talk to their doctors about their risk for heart attacks.

Recognizing the symptoms could save their lives. -- LUCKY SURVIVOR IN DELAWARE

DEAR LUCKY: Thank you for the heads-up. According to the American Heart Association, coronary heart disease kills an estimated 250,000 women of all ages and ethnicities every year.

While some heart attacks are sudden and intense, like the kind portrayed in the movies where the person gasps, clutches his chest and falls to the ground, the symptoms in women are often far more subtle.

The May 2004 issue of the Mayo Clinic Health Letter had an eye-opening item on this subject. It related that a recent survey of more than 500 female heart attack sufferers had shown their warning signs were often not pain-related.

"More than 70 percent of those surveyed reported feeling unusual fatigue. Other ... symptoms included sleep disturbance, shortness of breath, indigestion and anxiety.

"The majority of the women reported they experienced these warning signs for more than one month before their heart attack, suggesting the symptoms were related to a heart problem.

"Less than 30 percent ... experienced chest discomfort before their heart attacks. Those who did described it as aching, tightness or pressure -- not pain. In addition, only 57 percent reported chest discomfort during their actual heart attacks. They were more likely to experience shortness of breath, weakness and fatigue.

"The absence of chest pain may be a reason why some women don't recognize the symptoms of a heart attack or are misdiagnosed when they seek medical care."

For those who may not know it, heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women. That's why it is so important that women discuss heart disease with their doctors.

The American Heart Association has a risk-reduction program for women. To join, call 888-694-3278. Simple lifestyle changes can help us avoid having a heart attack. So make the call. It could save your life.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a 9-month-old son and am expecting another child in three months. My husband, "Matt," works nights, so when I get home exhausted at the end of my workday, I care for our baby by myself.

Matt used to drink a lot, but he slowed down quite a bit when we got married. I still feel that alcohol rules his life because his idea of an evening out is getting drunk. If he has a day off, he spends it drinking, too.

On Matt's birthday, I took the baby and slept at my parents' house so he could have a party with the guys and get drunk. Because of my pregnancy I can't drink -- nor do I want to -- but I didn't want the baby there with a bunch of drunks, either.

Matt and I went to a sporting event together not too long ago. I was embarrassed because he left me sitting alone while he kept going off to buy more beer. Seven beers into the event he was stumbling over the other spectators in our row.

I hate living like this. He says I'm overreacting. Am I? Is this normal for a 26-year-old man? If it is, our marriage is doomed. -- FED UP IN RICHMOND, TEXAS

DEAR FED UP: No, it's not normal for the average 26-year-old man. But it is typical of an alcoholic of any age.

It's important that you contact Al-Anon, a 12-step fellowship of people whose lives have been affected by the compulsive drinking of a family member or friend. To locate a chapter in your area, call 1-888-4ALANON (888-425-2666), or go to the Web site, which is www.al-anon.alateen.org.

Your husband's behavior won't change until he realizes he has a problem and wants to do something about it. Whether you want to spend the rest of your life this way is a question only you can answer. But please realize that a tendency toward alcoholism can be inherited, and be sure your children understand that fact as they grow older.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years, long-distance. We visit whenever possible and plan to live together soon. My problem is, he doesn't trust me. Although I have assured him that I am devoted to him and always have been, he continues to accuse me of seeing other guys. He says he has a "gut feeling" about it. He says I treat my friends, and even strangers, better than I do him. I don't feel that way.

I'm afraid to answer the phone or have contact with people for fear that he will get jealous because he's not the center of attention. He has read my e-mails more than once, checking for evidence. I suspect he may have hacked into my computer. Is there any hope? -- INNOCENT AND FAITHFUL IN L.A.

DEAR INNOCENT AND FAITHFUL: No. If you are smart, you will KEEP your relationship with this young man long-distance. You have described a person who is potentially an abuser. His actions are obsessive and controlling. Even if you live together, you will never be able to fill the bottomless pit of his neediness and insecurity. My advice to you is to end the relationship.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)