DEAR ABBY: I am 24 years old and have been married for seven years. We have one child.
My father-in-law has lived with us for the past three years. I am tired of this situation. I cannot have anyone over later than 10 p.m. or he goes crazy. Lights and TV have to be off by then, too. He lies on the couch all day. He doesn't clean up after himself. On top of that, he walks into our bedroom without knocking, so you can imagine what our sex life is like.
He is not over the hill or ailing. He is 57, and his only health problem is diabetes. We can't go anywhere without him; he even tags along with us when we visit his ex and her husband.
How do I tell him that we need time to ourselves without hurting his feelings? -- HAD IT IN TEXAS
DEAR HAD IT: You should be nominated for sainthood for tolerating the situation this long. Stop worrying about his feelings; he is certainly not worrying about yours. Set new house rules. Kindly but firmly take care of your own needs and don't apologize for it. Install a lock on your bedroom door. You and your husband are entitled to your privacy and your own life. If he doesn't like it, give him a deadline to be out, and then enforce it.