DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of nine months, "Brent," was killed in a car accident. I have been a mess ever since. I dropped out of school and have no job. I do not live with my parents, and I no longer have the love of my life.
One of Brent's best friends, "Doug," and I recently spent two intimate nights together. It was special and felt right.
Doug has had a girlfriend for almost two years. They are expecting a baby any day now. He has told me he wants to break up with her and move away with me because he feels he should look after me.
Another of Brent's good friends, "Brian," is a player. Brian doesn't respect women, but since he and I became close after the accident, he respects and watches out for me, too. One thing led to another with Brian, too, and we have done the deed many times.
I have feelings for both Doug and Brian, even though they don't come close to what I felt for Brent. Am I a horrible person for sleeping with Brent's two best friends after his death? I need advice on how to get out of this mess. -- GRIEVING WITH SEX
DEAR GRIEVING: Do not mistake what has happened with Brent's friends for love. It's time you talk to your spiritual adviser, join a grief support group and seek individual counseling. If possible, return to your parents for a while until you get your life back in order. It is important that you complete your education so you can become financially as well as emotionally independent.
P.S. Neither one of the young men you mentioned appears to be solid and mature enough for a serious relationship, so I urge you not to depend on either of them for anything. Both have taken advantage of your vulnerability.