DEAR ABBY: "Burt" and I have been married 14 years. We have two beautiful children -- a boy and a girl -- ages 8 and 11. Burt works in sales. I am a designer and run my business out of our home, so that I can be here when the children come home from school.
For the last couple of years, Burt has complained that the "spice" has gone out of our marriage. He did some Internet research and found a swingers group in our community. At first, he only did some chatting online, but now he wants us to go to one of their parties. I told him I'm against it, but he insists. The idea of exposing myself to strangers is mortifying. But the more I tell him no, the more insistent he becomes.
Should I agree to it to save our marriage? -- WAVERING IN VIRGINIA
DEAR WAVERING: No. If you do, the dynamics of your marriage will change forever -- and not for the better.
Great sex is all about great communication. If a dish isn't spicy enough, I see nothing to be gained by diluting it. To do something that makes you uncomfortable or is morally repugnant will not only not save your marriage, it could also be the straw that breaks the camel's back. A healthier solution for what ails your marriage would be to consult a sex therapist or a marriage counselor.