DEAR ABBY: I met my boyfriend, "Ray," three years ago. We have a great relationship. We are best friends and lovers. He wants us to marry and start a family soon.
My problem is I find myself lusting after Ray's brother, "Tim." Ray introduced me to Tim about six months after we met. Ever since, I have asked myself, "Have I picked the right brother?" I stuck with Ray because I felt morally obligated.
Tim has tried to express his feelings to me and pursue things, but I ignore him or change the subject. It's not because I want to, but I feel it wouldn't be right.
I am strongly attracted to Tim. I know it's wrong, but he's all I can think about. Please help. -- LOST IN LUST
DEAR LOST: Since your infatuation with Tim has lasted 2 1/2 years, it's safe to say that it's not a passing fancy. In fairness to all concerned, it's time to tell Ray that you are better friends than lovers and break off the relationship. He deserves a wife who is sure he's Mr. Right -- not Mr. Right's brother.
Once you are a free woman, for the sake of family harmony, you and Tim should refrain from starting a relationship for at least six months –- or until Ray finds another love interest. It's important that you be patient. If you jump the gun, it could cause a permanent rift in the family.