DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl with a problem I can't talk to anyone about. I have been with my boyfriend, "Jon," for about five months. He has always been kind of jealous and controlling. Recently my parents told me I couldn't see him anymore.

Jon became furious when I told him how my parents feel, and now he's talking about killing them so we can be together. I know he is serious.

I really love Jon. He is the first boy who has shown an interest in me.

My parents and I have always had a great relationship and my mom is like my best friend. I totally don't want to see them get hurt. I don't know what to do. I can't tell my parents and I can't tell the police. I have tried to talk Jon out of it, and tell him they will learn to accept him over time. He just gets mad and says I am taking their side. Please tell me what to do. -- ANONYMOUS IN FORT MYERS, FLA.

DEAR ANONYMOUS: I hope your sense of self-preservation is stronger than your sense of family loyalty. The boy you are involved with appears to have serious mental problems. He desperately needs psychological evaluation and counseling. Unless you do something now, Jon could talk himself into doing something to your parents -- and you will be an accessory because you knew it was going to happen and did nothing.

I urge you to warn your parents about Jon's threats, so they can protect themselves -- and you. As much as you may love him, you cannot reason with someone who is irrational and possibly homicidal.

P.S. Do NOT allow Jon to make you feel guilty for wanting to protect your parents. Your first responsibility is the safety of your family. So please don't wait. Tell them NOW. A good way to begin would be to clip this letter, hand it to them and tell them that you wrote it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "George" for nine months. Since the day I met him, I knew he was a little odd, but that was one of the qualities that first attracted me to him.

In the last three months, his behavior has become worse. He is now homeless, penniless, jobless, and has problems with alcohol and depression. He was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia.

I love George dearly, but my role in his life has switched from girlfriend to caregiver/provider. I am not sure what to do. He refuses to get help but is stuck to me like a lost child. How can I save his and my life before it is too late? -- DESPERATE IN NEW YORK

DEAR DESPERATE: True lovers must also be true friends, and right now George desperately needs one.

Tell him, as a concerned friend, that because you love him, he must get professional help.

If he doesn't have money, he can still find help in New York in a number of places. One of the large academic hospitals might be the place to start.

In any meaningful relationship, both people involved switch caregiving roles at various times. This is called "nurturing." But being made to feel obligated beyond affection is entrapment -- and that you must avoid.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of restaurants that have televisions in every room while you're trying to eat dinner with your family? They make me crazy! I can't stand them.

I consider dinnertime to be a special opportunity for family members to share a nutritious meal while conversing about the events of everyone's day. We don't answer the phone or the doorbell, nor do we watch TV, so that we can concentrate on hearing about school and work. Because during the rest of the day family members eat at different times and rush about, dinnertime is sacred.

Occasionally we dine out at different restaurants so that I can have a break from cooking and doing dishes. Lately they all seem to have TVs in every room, and instead of talking, everyone stares at the TV like hypnotized zombies.

If a baseball or football game is on, everything else is ignored. This defeats the purpose of having dinner out together.

Can anything be done to get the TVs removed from the dining areas in restaurants? Shouldn't there be a choice as to whether you eat in a room with a television or not? Restaurants used to have small TV sets in the bar area, but not in the dining room.

I hate to give up eating out, but I'm about ready to. Any other suggestions? -- TV-LESS MOM, SOUTH MIAMI, FLA.

DEAR MOM: You have my sympathy, but the restaurants are only obeying the laws of supply and demand. They are providing televised access to the games because their customers are demanding it. If the restaurateurs refuse, they risk losing business because their customers will watch the event elsewhere.

I agree that the "traditional" family dinner is important. Not only does it draw families closer, it also fosters communications skills. Sadly, however, I have heard from educators who tell me that fewer families are continuing the tradition -- and more and more children eat their meals glued to the television set. Of course, people who are distracted tend to overeat -- so not only does the net effect show up in a shrinkage of conversational skills, but there is a corresponding expansion of waistlines as well.

Some possible solutions to your problem: Make sure to avoid going to sports bars. Before making dinner reservations, do some reconnoitering. Scout around and see for yourself if there are any restaurants in your neighborhood that have TV-free dining rooms. There are probably some in every price range.

DEAR ABBY: I'm concerned about a friend I'll call Edith. Despite the fact that her husband died several years ago, she continues to wear her engagement and wedding rings. Is that in poor taste or what?

When I pointed this out to Edith, she simply said it was her business. What do you say, Abby? -- EDITH'S FRIEND IN DES MOINES

DEAR FRIEND: I agree with Edith. A widow may wear her wedding rings as long as she wishes. When she is ready to date again, the rings can be switched to her right hand, incorporated into another piece of jewelry, or simply put away.

P.S. If you are really Edith's friend, why are you labeling and criticizing her? She is hurting no one.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 15 and I have two questions.

I was shopping with my friend "Crystal," and we saw some guys we know. They're a year or two younger, so I thought they were just being stupid kids when they not-so-subtly tried to get me to flash them.

I'm ashamed to say I played along and lifted my top a little and unintentionally gave them a glimpse of my bra. They kept pestering me for more. It was just annoying until one of them reached for my top and tried to pull it down twice. Then one of them said to grab my arms and hold me down, which two of them did, while another one held Crystal back. They nearly succeeded in removing my top and bra, and more than one of them got a hand down my bra.

Was I at fault for this incident because I encouraged them? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill, or is this kind of thing no big deal? -- HUMILIATED IN SAN BERNARDINO, CALIF.

DEAR HUMILIATED: The answers to your questions are yes and no. Children who play with fire run the risk of being seriously burned. And girls who engage in sexual teasing run a similar risk. That's the lesson you should have learned from this embarrassing and, I'm sure, frightening incident. When you lifted your top, you sent a signal to the boys that you were willing to "play" -- and things got out of hand.

However, whether or not it was intended as horseplay, the boys went too far. Because of that, you should inform your mother and/or dad so they can discuss it with the parents of the boys involved. An authority figure -- preferably a parent -- needs to talk to those boys about the definition of sexual assault and battery, because that's what occurred. Unless they are warned, it will happen again. And next time, the police could be involved.

DEAR ABBY: Every year you discuss practical gifts for senior citizens. When my late second cousin, "Pat," turned 94, she was having serious problems with her vision. She loved corresponding with friends, but could no longer write in a straight line, so her envelopes could not be read correctly by the post office.

I asked a friend if she would create some stationery that my cousin could use; she removed the thread from her sewing machine, and on the back of each sheet of paper "stitched" parallel lines about 1/2 inch apart. I asked her to do the same with the envelopes, but to make only four lines where the address would go.

Cousin Pat loved her beautiful -- and useful -- stationery. Her friends were able to read her handwriting, and so could the U.S. Postal Service. It's easy to write in a straight line when your fingers can feel the tiny "bumps" that the needle makes.

I'm a retired former Braille teacher, and machine-stitching is one of the techniques I would use to make geometry drawings for blind students. (I wonder if banks would permit this on personal checks?)

I hope this idea will help more people with fading eyesight to keep in touch. -- NORMA L. SCHECTER, HUNTINGTON BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR NORMA: Your idea is innovative, inexpensive and terrific. I hope that readers who use it will be sure to include stamps with the stationery.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)