DEAR ABBY: Can you imagine waking to the sound of your smoke alarm in the middle of the night? Would you know what to do? Half of all home fires occur between 10:00 p.m. and 6:00 a.m. -- when most people are sound asleep.

This year the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA), the official sponsor of Fire Protection Week for more than 80 years, has teamed with Pella Windows and Doors and the Home Safety Council to promote fire safety education and preparedness during Fire Prevention Week, Oct. 5-11, 2003. Our theme: "When Fire Strikes, GET out! STAY out!" Our campaign drives home the message that when the smoke alarm goes off, you should leave right away using one of your two preplanned escape routes -- AND NOT GO BACK INSIDE FOR ANY REASON.

Abby, please let parents know that as part of their escape plan, they must make sure that smoke alarms wake everyone in the home, especially children. If family members do not wake to the sound of the alarm, consider installing interconnected smoke alarms in all the bedrooms. When one alarm sounds, they all sound. Or assign an adult to take the sound sleepers and assist them in escaping.

Thank you for sharing this important information with your readers. -- JAMES M. SHANNON, PRESIDENT, NFPA

DEAR READERS: Since this is Fire Prevention Week, I can think of no better time for all of us to ensure that there are working batteries in our smoke alarms. If you haven't already done so, now is also the time to craft a fire escape plan so that if your fire alarm does sound, you and your loved ones will all get out without being injured. Plan not one, but two avenues of escape in case one is blocked. Also, an escape plan is no good unless everyone is familiar with it -- so practice, practice, practice.

DEAR ABBY: Years before we met, my husband, "Phil," had a relationship with a married woman I'll call Trish. It began before we met and ended when our relationship began. Phil and Trish believe that her first child is his.

For the first seven years of this child's life, Phil watched the child from afar and continued having relations with Trish. Her husband has no clue.

I told Phil I wanted nothing to do with this charade. I said they should both fess up and come clean for the child's sake. It never happened. But since he terminated his relationship with Trish, I really couldn't complain.

Trish has continued to e-mail and call Phil attempting to arrange a dinner for the two of them so they can catch up, and he could be kept informed of the child's development. (He is now 13.) I told Phil I would entertain the idea if Trish's husband and I were included. He said that was impossible.

Last night, Phil received an e-mail from Trish stating that he had promised he would "always be there" for her -- and now he isn't. Phil didn't respond.

I don't want to cause additional hardship for the child. Am I being immature, unrealistic or unfair? Your input, please. -- PHIL'S WIFE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR WIFE: You are none of the above. You are a shrewd lady who is trying to protect her marriage.

If any dinners are planned so Phil can "be there" for Trish, you should also be there. It will send a strong message.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: "Karl" and I met a few days after he had broken up with his girlfriend, "Liza." My brother introduced us. I was leery at first. I had heard Liza was pregnant with Karl's child, but he told me it was over between them. I guess Karl said all the right things because we immediately hooked up and our relationship got serious fast.

A week later, Liza called Karl to "discuss the baby." At that point, Karl and I were living together. He went to see her and didn't return until morning. Liza called me in the middle of the night, announced that she and Karl were back together, and told me that I had to move out. Since there wasn't time to find a new apartment, I moved into the guest room.

Surprisingly, we have all been getting along really well, but there is something that I haven't told them -- I am also pregnant with Karl's child.

I really don't know what to do. Karl has two kids on the way and they are less than a month apart. Please help. -- A HOPELESS PREGNANT WOMAN

DEAR HOPELESS: The first thing you must do is consult a lawyer and discuss establishing paternity and child support for your child. Although the three of you are getting along now, there is no guarantee that it will continue when there are five of you. Bear in mind that Liza, not Karl, was the person who told you to move out. It's unlikely that Karl is ever going to give you an exclusive commitment.

DEAR ABBY: For the past five years, I have been concentrating on school in an effort to support my 5-year-old son who lives with his mother. We never married; I am gay. I see my son a couple of times a month.

I recently quit my job because it was too much to handle with school. I want to spend quality time with my son -- something I never had with my own father -- but I don't have much money and I don't remember what 5-year-old boys like to do.

This is my last chance to be a good father. Abby, can you think of some activities my son would enjoy? -- WANTS TO BE A GOOD DAD, RALEIGH, N.C.

DEAR DAD: I applaud you for wanting to participate in your son's life. The child will enjoy just spending time with you and knowing you. Listen to what he has to say and take an interest in the things he likes.

Some excursions the two of you could enjoy together might include an age-appropriate movie, a sporting event, a trip to the zoo, going to get an ice cream cone, camping out and/or hiking, or a visit to a park playground. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. A picnic and game of catch are fun.

Reading to your son is another activity that he would like. Go to the library and ask the librarian to recommend books you and your son can enjoy together.

Readers: Any other ideas?

DEAR ABBY: Last week I went to a store to buy a greeting card. When I went to pay at the checkout stand, I saw the most beautiful girl smiling at me. When I handed her my money, I asked her name. She told me, but I was so nervous I didn't give her my name.

How can I get this fantastic stranger interested in me? -- CHECKING OUT THE CHECKOUT GIRL

DEAR CHECKING OUT: Go back to the store. Buy another card or two. If she's wearing a name tag, call her by name and introduce yourself. (Fortunately for you, the holiday season is fast approaching, and you can buy LOTS of cards ... one card at a time!)

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am an 11-year-old girl who feels like I have lived long enough and it's OK to die. A girl at my school, "Kim," pressured me to give her my telephone number and the names of the boys I like. She gets her friends to threaten, corner and question me.

Now I get crank calls at least once a month. My mother called Kim's mother, but she accused me of treating her daughter badly! Kim has lied and hurt me severely. I don't know what to do. Please help. -- WANTING TO MOVE OUT OF CALIFORNIA

DEAR WANTING: If there is teasing, threatening, stalking or bullying going on at school, your teacher should be informed. If that doesn't put a stop to it, your parents should take the problem to the principal and, if need be, to the school board. You have a right to go to school without being cornered or intimidated.

Your mother should also arrange a get-together with Kim's mother and, without making any accusations, get to the bottom of what's going on. It will be time well spent.

DEAR ABBY: I am 27 and have been happily married to "Brian" for four years. Our first child is due in November. I couldn't be more excited about this baby. The problem lies with my husband. While I am sure Brian wants a baby and will love our child with all his heart, I am not sure he's ready for parenthood.

I realize that no one can ever be truly prepared for the life changes a baby can throw your way, but I'm afraid that this is not the right time in Brian's life for it. He swears that he is ready and has no regrets about my pregnancy. He claims that this is what life is all about. But I can't shake the feeling that my husband is not as ready as he claims.

I love Brian and know he'll be a great dad. However, I fear that our child may drive a wedge between us when he realizes that the baby's needs must come before his own. How can I be the mom I want to be and still keep my husband happy? -- EXCITED BUT WORRIED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR EXCITED: Since your husband has said repeatedly that he's happy about impending fatherhood, believe him. Relax and enjoy your baby. There will probably be times when you both may feel trapped and wish you could live life more spontaneously. All parents feel that way at times -- and when they do, they find a baby sitter and spend some adult time with each other.

I urge you not to obsess about the negative. That, more than anything else, could drive a wedge between you.

DEAR ABBY: You printed a letter from a woman who signed her letter "Mother of Invention." Years ago, my son, Jim, forgot my birthday, and I also sent my daughter-in-law a sympathy card with a note saying I didn't know my "negligent" son had died.

A few days later, a large bouquet of flowers arrived. Attached to the flowers was this card:

"Sorry to hear about your loss. He was a great son. We will always remember him for his timeliness. Love, Jim and Susan"

My thanks to "Mother of Invention" and to you for printing that letter. It brought back memories. -- MOTHER OF A GREAT SON IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MOTHER: I like your son's sense of humor. I'll bet that was the last time he forgot your birthday.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)