DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Lowell" for more than a year. He's a college graduate with a professional job. We have begun talking marriage, and I am thrilled, but I have one concern: Lowell believes he is from another planet.

When Lowell first mentioned it, I laughed and said, "I thought there was something different about you." The trouble is, he isn't joking! (This is ridiculous because his parents are alive, and I know he was born in Chicago.) Lowell insists that he is "special" and I should feel honored that he loves me.

Last night was the final straw. He said it to my brother and his wife, and they looked at him as if he WAS from another planet. When we got back to my apartment we had a huge fight. I told him never to mention that ludicrous story again to anyone. He insists that if we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, I have to accept him for who he is.

Abby, I love Lowell, but I can't have him telling our friends and family -- and our future children -- that he is from another galaxy. What should I do? -- NOT EASY BEING AN EARTH GIRL

DEAR NOT EASY: I have heard of men who are "out of this world," but not in the sense that Lowell is trying to convey. Before discussing marriage any further, talk to Lowell's mother and find out how long he's been nursing this delusion. We all want to be "special," but your young man has taken it to an extreme. His insistence that you should feel "honored" that he loves you is another red flag.

I often advise premarital counseling for couples who are considering marriage. In this case, it should be with a psychotherapist who can identify what Lowell's problem is before it becomes YOUR problem. If he refuses to go, my advice to you is to give him some "space."

DEAR ABBY: I have been a school bus driver for 11 years. I am responsible for the safety of students traveling to and from school. I am writing because I am alarmed at the number of drivers who do not stop when they see a school bus with flashing red lights.

The law says any time a school bus is stopped with its red lights flashing, all cars must stop. Even drivers going the opposite direction on a divided or four-lane highway must stop.

It normally takes no more than one minute for children to get on or off the bus. What's a minute when it comes to the life of a child? -- CONCERNED BUS DRIVER IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR CONCERNED BUS DRIVER: Thank you for your timely reminder. School is back in session -- and no appointment is more important than safeguarding the lives of children.

So slow down, folks! Ya move too fast. This generation's gotta last. (With apologies to Simon and Garfunkel!)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl who has a wonderful grandfather. He insists that I read your column every day. In fact, he calls me up in the afternoon and quizzes me about the letters just to make sure I have read them.

To prove to him that I do read your column, would you please print this and let him know that I think he is an awesome grandfather and that I feel lucky to have him?

(Now I can call and quiz HIM to see if he's read your column today!) -- A.R. IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR A.R.: With pleasure! Please let me know if your discerning and well-read grandfather passes the quiz!

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 31-year-old father of a 2-year-old son, "Joey." Joey has been living with me since my ex-wife, "Kathy," was indicted on federal charges that range from drug trafficking to money laundering.

Abby, I know I am a good father, but I am upset with Kathy for leaving me alone to raise Joey. My son needs his mother, too. Joey will be an adult when she is finally released from prison. My problem is, what do I say to Joey now when he asks, "Where's Mommy?" -- HALF EMPTY IN TEXAS

DEAR HALF EMPTY: Assure your son that his mother loves him and would be with him if she could, but that she had to go away for a while. It's the truth -- without any traumatizing details.

When he gets older, answer his questions as he asks them. In the meantime, I recommend that you investigate parent support groups. Parents Without Partners is a good one. For the chapter nearest you, call (800) 637-7974.

DEAR ABBY: I am a baby boomer. I seem to be regressing to my hippie days of the '60s -- growing my hair long, wearing peasant blouses and buying CDs of the Beatles and The Band. I dwell on the past and feel my best years are behind me. Am I in trouble here? Is this normal? Do any of your other "baby boomer" readers feel the same way? -- FLOWER CHILD IN NEW YORK

DEAR FLOWER CHILD: Everyone, at one time or another, idealizes the past and yearns for their "carefree" formative years. (In the haze of memory, most of the difficulties are minimized.) Many people still carry the '60s in their hearts and continue to enjoy the music. (A lot of them now wear business attire and carry briefcases.)

If you truly feel your best years are behind you, it's time to examine the reason why. Counseling will help you get to the root of it.

DEAR ABBY: You challenged readers to send you examples of social blunders. Here's mine:

An elderly friend with whom I was very close was sent to an assisted living facility by daughters who rarely visit her. Shortly thereafter, I received a request from one of them asking for memorabilia, photographs or poems for her mother's 80th birthday.

I was horrified when the woman added, "Then we can kill two birds with one stone and display them at her memorial service." What bad taste. Needless to say, I sent nothing but my good wishes. -- APPALLED IN MONTANA

DEAR APPALLED: I'm all for planning ahead, but planning someone's funeral while the person is in reasonably good health strikes me as rushing things a bit. However, for your friend's sake, you should have sent a small photograph or a personal note to mark the happy occasion of the birthday.

DEAR ABBY: My wife had an affair two years ago. She refuses to tell me the name of the man. We have worked hard to rebuild our marriage, and I want to forgive her, but unless I know who he is, I cannot fully trust her again.

I think I am owed the truth. She says there's no reason for me to know, but that she will follow your advice. -- WONDERING WHO IN OHIO

DEAR WONDERING: You have a right to know the truth. If your wife doesn't 'fess up, you will suspect every man with whom she has any contact. As long as you resist the urge to retaliate, it may help you achieve closure.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: At my office, many employees participate in fund-raisers for church groups or schools. These fund-raisers involve buying items such as wrapping paper, chocolate bars, etc. I usually buy "whatever" because it's for a good cause.

One of my co-workers, "Robin," frequently asks the rest of us to chip in to raise money for her daughter's school. However, Robin recently admitted to me privately that the money she's collecting is actually for herself. She justified her actions by saying the funds are for a "worthy cause" -- HER TRIP TO PARIS.

Should I tell my co-workers about Robin's scam, or report her to the companies providing the products she's selling for "charity"? I am disgusted by her deceit and her inability to see anything wrong with what she's doing. -- SICK ABOUT IT IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR SICK ABOUT IT: By all means, speak up and tell your co-workers about her scheme. Robin's lack of ethics is appalling -- and may even be criminal. To remain silent makes you an accessory, so don't wait. Do it now.

DEAR ABBY: Two months ago, I told a boy at school I'll call Aaron that I've been infatuated with him. We are both 13. Aaron and I have been dating ever since my "confession," and I've been very happy with him until recently.

Lately, I can't stand him -- and I don't know why. I dread his phone calls, and I'm always trying to think up excuses not to see him.

Aaron has told me that I'm his whole world and he would kill himself if he ever "lost" me. This is my first relationship with a boy, and I don't know what to do.

Abby, please help. I want to end this thing with him, but I'm afraid of what he might do. -- SCARED AND WORRIED SICK IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR SCARED AND WORRIED: What Aaron is doing is emotional blackmail. On some level, he senses that you are losing interest and he is trying to make you responsible for his welfare.

Now is the time to tell your parents or another trusted adult exactly what is going on. Aaron's family should be informed about his self-destructive threats. Please don't delay.

In the future, don't be so quick to tie yourself to one person. Now is the time you should be enjoying activities with groups of friends.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently hired at a company that seems to be way out of my league. When I walked in, I saw young, beautiful, thin, well-bred, middle-class folks everywhere. I am none of those things. (Well, I am young.)

How does a person from one class work with another class without being noticed? By that I mean, how do I hide the fact that I don't fit in? -- FEELS LIKE A FRAUD IN FLORIDA

DEAR FEELS LIKE A FRAUD: Stop putting yourself down and anticipating problems that may never happen. If someone didn't think you'd fit in, you would not have been hired by your employer. Do your job well and you will be respected. Be friendly and reach out and you will make friends.

It's not what you look like or where you are from, it's what you have to offer that makes you a valued employee.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)