DEAR READERS: I am sure that everyone is aware that today marks the second anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. I hope you will take just a moment to offer up a prayer for those people who lost their lives there, and in the field in Pennsylvania on that horrific day -- and for the grieving families and friends who will live with their loss for the rest of their lives.

Let us also not forget the brave young men and women who have put their lives on hold as they serve in the U.S. armed forces under the most stressful conditions imaginable. One way to show our appreciation for their dedication is to go to the Web site OperationDearAbby.net, and send a message of encouragement and support. Let them know that they are in our thoughts today -- and every day.

I am proud to say that more than 2 million of my caring, generous readers have sent messages to our troops so far. Please continue your support. They need us now more than ever as this conflict drags on.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 15-year-old girl from a financially secure family. My best friend, "Audrey," is in the opposite situation. Her parents are divorced. Her mother works full time to support the family.

I used to get annoyed at Audrey when she'd hesitate after I'd suggest we do something fun together. She finally admitted she didn't have the money. I feel awful because money has never been a problem for me, and I thought it was not a problem for any of my friends.

I love being with Audrey. I don't want her financial situation to put a damper on our friendship. I am more than willing to pay for things like admissions to amusement parks, movies and other events -- and even buy her clothes when we go shopping together. The problem is, she is very sensitive about money. She never takes me up on my offers.

How do I get to do fun things with Audrey without making her feel she is accepting charity? -- NOT A PRINCESS IN PASADENA, CALIF.

DEAR NOT A PRINCESS: Stop offering to buy her clothes. Do offer to do things with her that don't cost a lot of money -- listen to music, rent videos, exercise, or do homework together. Include her in some group activities (movies or amusement parks), but always let her reciprocate in some way. Respect her decisions, and remember that the burden of gratitude can sometimes hang very heavy, so try to keep a balance.

DEAR ABBY: I frequently host small dinner parties and get-togethers in my home for co-workers and friends. Most guests bring their spouse or a date. "Jane," a young lady with whom I work, has recently been corresponding with an inmate I'll call Al. Al was sentenced to eight years in prison, but will be released in a few weeks. Jane plans to bring him to my next dinner party.

Abby, Jane has dated abusive men in the past. When I asked her what Al was in prison for, she flipped out. She said, "Al has paid his debt to society! You shouldn't ask rude questions." When I gently inquired of Jane if Al had committed a violent crime, she hesitated. Then she said, "Well, sort of," and refused to elaborate.

Don't you agree that I have the right to know whom I am inviting into my home? Am I out of line or overly cautious? -- ALARMED HOST IN ALABAMA

DEAR ALARMED: Not at all. It's true that Al has paid his debt to society; however, you have the right to know whom you're entertaining in your home.

Arrange for Jane to introduce you to Al a few days before the party. It may put your fears to rest. But if it doesn't, cancel the event and schedule something else another time.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My heart is broken. I am a 21-year-old college student. Today was supposed to be my wedding day. My twin sister, "Diana," my ex-fiance, "John," and I were always very close. John and I have dated since high school. Last week, Diana told me she is three months pregnant with John's baby. She said that when I was studying for exams, she and John had a one-time fling while both of them were drunk. The two people I am closest to in the world have betrayed me. I no longer speak to either one.

I plan to return to college to finish my senior year. Do you think I can ever repair these relationships? Should I forgive John and marry him? Please help me. -- UNHAPPY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNHAPPY: Can you repair these relationships? Possibly, with the passage of time. Should you marry John? Not unless you want your niece or nephew to also be your stepdaughter or stepson. That's a lot to swallow, but only time will tell -- lots and lots of time. In the meantime, enjoy your senior year. Participate in school activities and work on expanding your circle of friends.

DEAR ABBY: I am a college freshman in a city six hours from home. I miss my family, but I've been fortunate to have already made some wonderful new friends.

Lately, however, I've been concerned about the way I feel mentally, so I made a list of my feelings and behaviors that cause me concern. I then explored the Internet for advice. A number of credible Web sites indicate that my symptoms could be linked to clinical depression.

This has me worried. I don't want my new friends to think I'm "weird." Also, my parents are old-fashioned and could very well insist I return home.

Above all, I don't want anyone to overreact. This is all based on my own suspicions. Sometimes I get scared that something may happen to me because I didn't seek help. Who should I turn to, Abby? -- DEPRESSED STUDENT (NO LOCATION, PLEASE)

DEAR DEPRESSED STUDENT: The student health center on your campus is the place to express your concerns. Many first-year college students become anxious in their new surroundings when faced with academic challenges. If you suspect that you have a problem that requires counseling or medication, you are wise to face it squarely and not put it off. Depression is a disease. It is treatable and curable, and those who have it are not weird, so please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: I am only 13, but I have a big problem. I love both of my parents, but I don't like the way my dad treats my mom. Dad drinks a lot and abuses Mom. Not by hitting, but with words. Mom wants to leave, but she doesn't want to break up our family.

Lately, my older brothers are beginning to copy Dad. They mouth off at Mom and it makes me angry. I don't know how to help my parents without hurting one or the other. They both need help, but Dad refuses to get it. What can I do? -- ANGRY DAUGHTER/SISTER IN KANSAS

DEAR ANGRY DAUGHTER: Remind your mother that words can hurt as much as physical blows, and your brothers are already imitating their father's behavior.

Ask your mother how she will feel when her sons marry and abuse THEIR wives. Deep in her heart she knows that the time to put an end to this cycle is now. Continue encouraging your mother to do what she knows she should -- leave your abusive father for the sake of her children.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I was in shock when I read the letter from Dr. Barrett, the president-elect of the American Diabetes Association. He was commenting on the letter from "Wants a Life in Virginia," who said her husband's diabetes has led to irrational, irresponsible and even violent behavior. Writing to "set the record straight," Dr. Barrett denied that diabetes could be the cause. In no way was the record set straight by his letter.

The American Diabetes Association notes irritability and anxiousness in its list of symptoms, but doctors, nurses and those who work in nursing facilities can tell you of combative behavior for no reason and resisting treatment. To deny this truth is a disservice to those who need immediate attention.

Dr. Barrett made it harder for us all who deal with this disease and its challenges -- and there are many. -- BARBARA L. GIFFEN, VERMONT CHAPTER SUGARBUGS

DEAR BARBARA: I have a stack of testimonials 2 inches thick from people like yourself, also "in the trenches," vouching that blood sugar levels can and do affect a person's personality. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: When my blood sugar gets very high (350-plus) I become verbally abusive and develop a hair-trigger temper. As soon as the insulin kicks in, I return to my normal self. Many of my friends who are also diabetic tell me they react the same way. You and the good doctor should refrain from blanket statements. -- W.H.S., DANA, N.C.

DEAR W.: I agree. I have also been told that when a person's blood sugar gets LOW, he or she can become short-tempered. That is one reason why being a food server sometimes requires the skills of a diplomat. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have been an insulin-dependent diabetic for 34 years. To speak to Dr. Barrett's apparent agenda, no, I have never been in a brawl, never "gone nuts" in public. But my wife can tell a few stories. The spouses, partners and relatives of diabetics are unsung heroes. I have awakened her in the night having seizures. I have come to my senses after consuming sufficient sugar to find my wife weeping and refusing to tell me what I said, so I know it wasn't gibberish I was ranting, but something that could easily be characterized (to quote Dr. Barrett) as "irresponsible, irrational, and even violent behavior." It may not be my fault, but it remains my responsibility.

The agenda of the ADA, and most knowledgeable health-care professionals, is to emphasize to diabetics that they can be healthy, productive and happy (all true). What they no longer add to that list is "live a normal life." In an effort to overcome fears and misconceptions by the general public, the possibility of any other situation is downplayed to the rest of the world.

I hope you will acknowledge that regardless of the great challenges faced by diabetics, those who love them are also confronted by trials. -- ROBERT V., SYRACUSE, N.Y.,

DEAR ROBERT: Thank you very much for your honest letter. I contacted the American Diabetes Association after I received the avalanche of mail from readers who disagreed with Dr. Barrett. He still maintains that "based on the facts presented in the original letter, he would again state that diabetes is not an explanation for her husband's behavior."

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)