DEAR ABBY: I have a terrible problem. I had an affair with my pastor. (I'll call him Pastor Jones.) It began as a one-night stand but lasted for more than a year. Pastor Jones is married with six children. I'm also married and the mother of two.

Unfortunately, I have fallen deeply in love with him. We both know it's wrong. We have prayed together many times, asking God to forgive us for our sexual relationship and for breaking the Seventh Commandment. But no matter how hard we fought temptation, somehow we always ended up between the sheets.

It became too painful for me to attend church on Sundays, knowing that I'd had carnal sex on Saturday night with the man speaking from the pulpit. I was also uncomfortable watching other church members tithe 10 percent of their hard-earned money, unaware that Pastor Jones was pocketing a sizable percentage to finance his lavish lifestyle.

I finally stopped attending his church. I don't believe in playing with God, and I want so badly to do what is right. However, Pastor Jones still comes around my workplace to "visit," and I continue to have a weakness for him. He is smart, funny and very handsome. My temptation is stronger than ever.

Every minute of every day I remind myself that I love my husband and our children. Please advise me how to fight this powerful urge that will surely give me a first-class ticket to hell. Sign me ... FALLEN AND WANT TO GET UP

DEAR FALLEN: Pastor Jones is a thief and a hypocrite who deserves to be atoning in a correctional institution rather than preaching in a house of God.

Ask God for forgiveness, and also for the strength to stay away from the "Pastard." Then talk to your husband. The two of you should report Pastor Jones to your church headquarters. They need to know that the man they have in the pulpit is dipping into the collection plate ... and more.

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, I met "Barry and Maryann," a married couple who work in the same office I do. They've been married for 10 years. We've become good friends and the three of us spend a lot of time socially. Barry and Maryann have both confided to me that they're unhappy in their marriage.

This morning, Barry called me at home and told me that he has feelings for me. It made me uncomfortable because I am friends with both Barry and Maryann. How do I suggest they seek marriage counseling when one of them has a "thing" for me -- and the other doesn't know there's a problem?

I want to be friends with both of them. Help. -- AT A LOSS IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR AT A LOSS: Since the husband has come on to you, a friendship with them may no longer be possible. Tell Barry that although you like him and his wife, as friends and co-workers, his romantic feelings are not reciprocated. Then urge him to take Maryann and get marriage counseling because confiding their problems in you is neither productive nor a solution to them. You'll be doing them both a favor.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I had to write after reading your response to "Not Into Porn," the young woman who blacked out after drinking with her live-in boyfriend, and later discovered that he had videotaped them having sex. I'll bet you get more than 1,000 letters suggesting that you overlooked a serious possibility: She may have been given a date-rape drug.

The symptoms she described could be linked to GHB or Rohypnol. People who drink a combination of alcohol and these drugs commonly have "blackouts" lasting from one to 24 hours after consuming such a cocktail. -- SARATOGA, CALIF., READER

DEAR READER: You win the bet. I have received an avalanche of letters and e-mails numbering in the thousands. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You told the young lady that drinking and blacking out could indicate a drinking problem. As a physician, and the father of two young women, I feel your advice was incomplete. Abby, the "problem" is her boyfriend. He may be a sexual predator and subject to prosecution. She may be the victim of the date-rape drug Rohypnol, and THAT'S why she can't remember being videotaped.

Young women should be warned about this possibility and the need to watch their beverages carefully. -- PETER S. HACKER, M.D., HOLLIS, N.H.

DEAR DOCTOR H.: I didn't consider the possibility of a date-rape drug -- and neither did my staff -- because of the length of time (five years) that she and her boyfriend have lived together. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I had a similar experience, also with a trusted boyfriend. I had a couple of drinks and felt tipsy. He offered to take me home and take care of me. The next morning I awoke with a bruise at the top of my head, blurred vision and frighteningly awkward coordination. I remembered nothing. My boyfriend said I had simply passed out.

Later, several friends told me that he had bragged that he had laced my drink in order to fulfill a "personal fantasy."

Please let your readers know this happens not only with strangers, but sometimes with people we think we can trust. I hope this helps someone. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest. -- JENNY IN N.D.

DEAR JENNY: Thank YOU for writing. Your letter will not only help thousands of women, but it has also educated me.

DEAR ABBY: Regarding the jerk who not only had sex with his girlfriend after she had passed out, but then had the audacity to videotape the act: Sex with a woman who is not capable of consent is RAPE. -- ANOTHER MAN'S VIEW IN WASHINGTON

DEAR MALE WASHINGTONIAN: I agree. And to be safe, the young woman should call her local rape hotline and run the entire scenario by them. She may also need to be tested for STDs -- because a man who would do this to her could easily be sexually violating other women.

DEAR ABBY: Under no circumstances should that video be destroyed. It should be taken to the police so it can be used as evidence in her boyfriend's prosecution! And as for you, it's time to drag out the wet noodle. -- HORRIFIED IN HOUSTON

DEAR HORRIFIED: No need for the noodle. I've already been flogged enough.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My 27-year-old daughter, "Ruthie," was married a year ago. The night before her wedding, Ruthie came to me and said she didn't think she could go through with it. I told her she was "just a nervous bride," and that we had already paid for everything. Ruthie has always done what we wanted her to do and never gave us an ounce of trouble when she was growing up.

A few months after the wedding, I had a hunch that something was wrong. I asked Ruthie if I had told her it was OK to call off the wedding, would she have gotten married. With tears in her eyes, she told me, "No." The marriage is not going well at all. I know in my heart I let my daughter down. What should I do now? -- SAD MOM IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SAD MOM: Take your daughter by the hand, look her in the eye, and tell her that mothers sometimes make mistakes -- and this was one of them. Then let her know that you'll support her in whatever she wants to do.

Suggest that she consult a lawyer. She may qualify for an annulment.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 35-year-old woman with two kids. I have been about 80 pounds overweight for the last 10 years. My mom drives me crazy because all she talks about is my weight. Yesterday she said, "If someone gave you $10,000 to lose 50 pounds, would you do it?"

Mother's remarks have strained our relationship. I can't stand being around her. Should I put my foot down or just drop it? -- TIPPING THE SCALES IN TEXAS

DEAR TIPPING THE SCALES: Your mother harps on your weight because she is concerned about your health. The next time she brings up the subject, say, "I know you're worried about my weight because you love me. But this is a battle I must fight myself. No one can do this for me. I will deal with this issue when I am ready." If she continues to raise the subject, repeat your statement. It's the truth.

DEAR ABBY: I'd like to respond to "Unhappy East Coast Wife," who is considering leaving her current husband for her high school sweetheart.

When I read her letter, one comment jumped off the page. She wrote, "My husband and I went to counseling and tried all the things you do when a relationship is failing."

Counseling isn't something only to be done as a last resort. My wife and I see our counselor at church once or twice a year, just to keep any "issues" we may have from escalating. With scheduled appointments, neither of us gets defensive.

Counseling provides us an opportunity to express our feelings to an unbiased, supportive listener -- and keeps the lines of communication open.

Our marriage is blissfully happy. I highly recommend routine sessions with counselors for all couples. -- HAPPILY MARRIED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR HAPPILY MARRIED: It takes courage to confront problems in a relationship as they arise. Too many people sweep them under the carpet and hope they'll go away. (They don't.)

I'm all for your "preventive maintenance" sessions. Thank you for sharing your solution to an almost universal problem.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)