DEAR ABBY: I am a beautiful woman in my early 30s. My husband, "Brad," is a handsome man in his late 20s. We both dress stylishly, exercise regularly and eat healthy food. We turn heads when we walk into the room. We have been married for nearly five years and are devoted to each other. We prosper in all areas except in the bedroom.
Brad seems to have no interest in sex at all. None. Zip! Our honeymoon was nothing short of amazing. We waited until after our wedding to consummate our union. Now we make love about every six weeks, if that. This is not enough for me. I gently told him that I "need more," and asked, "Is it me?" Brad says it's not me and that he feels guilty. He apologized for hurting my feelings and blames his lack of interest on being "tired." (Brad does not work long hours.)
I have tried clearing our social calendar and doing all the household chores. I suggested he go to sleep earlier in the evening and take naps whenever he needs to. I have even tried being assertive in my Victoria's Secret lingerie. Nothing has worked. Help! -- GOING WITHOUT IN THE SOUTHWEST
DEAR GOING WITHOUT: This is a question that needs to be honestly explored both separately and together. The first step is to schedule an appointment for both of you with your physician.
Not all men have raging sex drives. Your husband may need his testosterone levels checked, or he may suffer from performance anxiety -- or have other issues. Your problem will not be resolved until you are both able to pinpoint exactly what the problem is. Please don't wait any longer.