DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Jerry," and I have been married for 10 years. Nine months ago, he had an affair and moved in with the woman. During the time Jerry and I were separated -- and he had filed for divorce -- I met a man and slept with him.
Two months later, Jerry came to his senses and realized life wasn't greener on the other side of the fence. He begged for forgiveness and came home professing his love for me and our children.
Abby, I love my husband with all my heart or I wouldn't have taken him back. I am not proud of sleeping with another man, and as a matter of fact, I had blocked it from my memory because I felt so ashamed. My problem is, when Jerry found out about the other man he freaked out and ever since then he accuses me of having affairs with many men. He continuously recounts "my indiscretion," forgetting what led up to it.
Jerry scrutinizes my cell phone bills and calls unfamiliar numbers to find out who I'm talking to. It is driving me crazy. We both agree we want to be together, but I can't take his accusations any longer. Help! -- IN LOVE, BUT IN AGONY
DEAR IN LOVE, BUT: Tell "Jerry the reformed" that unless he agrees to marriage counseling, he will have to move out. His behavior proves the truth of the old saying, "A man never looks behind the bedroom door unless he has stood there himself."
Unless your husband can overcome his "convenient amnesia" and is willing for both of you to make a fresh start, his guilt, suspicion and inability to forgive will destroy your marriage.