DEAR ABBY: Two weeks ago, I went to a party with "Brady," my live-in boyfriend of five years. To make a long story short, I had too much to drink. Brady took me home and put me to bed so I could "sleep it off." I remembered nothing the next morning.
A few days later, I ran across an unfamiliar videotape and popped it into the VCR. I couldn't believe my eyes! It was Brady and me having sex the night I was so "out of it." When I confronted him, he said he had always wanted to document our love-making. Then he apologized. I made Brady promise to destroy the tape.
I feel angry, hurt and violated! I can hardly look my boyfriend in the eye right now. Am I making too much of this? -- NOT INTO PORNO IN WASHINGTON STATE
DEAR NOT INTO PORNO: Not at all. What Brady did was indeed a violation. I urge you to make absolutely certain that the tape has been destroyed and there are no other copies. And if I were you, I'd reconsider a relationship with a man who appears to regard you as a sex "object" rather than a person.
P.S.: Drinking and blacking out are signs of alcoholism. Please get the help you need to stop now.